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26 year old guy dating an 18 year old girl? Would that be wrong?
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I think that too much focus is placed on age as a compatibility issue in a relationship when the gap is from 5-15 years. I was with someone younger at the age of 18 and someone older at the age of 20. Both relationships were long-term, but neither of them worked out (though I'm still friends with both). In the end, it was never the age difference that was the problem; it was the fact that we weren't in the same place mentally and eventually didn't want the same things or put the same amount of effort into the relationship. I've been with my current partner for a few years now, and have never been happier because we're both secure enough in ourselves to talk to each other if there is a problem and discuss what it is we need.
What really needs to be judged here isn't the age gap in itself, but whether the age difference will make it difficult for the partners involved to communicate honestly about what they want and need from each other. The question is whether or not they are in the same space mentally and whether they want similar things. To give an example, an 18 year old who wants to go out and party constantly and a 26 year old who is focused on the future and their career may not be on the same page. This is both a case of maturity and a case of both people being at different stages in their lives. It's important to establish what both partners want if the relationship is going to be anything more than casual. Relationships don't just happen; they take work, and sometimes they may not work out. So before the risk of being in a relationship is taken, both people should give themselves a fair chance to understand one another. If on a casual level neither partner is able to communicate what they want from an eventual relationship, then it probably isn't going to work on a long-term basis.
What really needs to be judged here isn't the age gap in itself, but whether the age difference will make it difficult for the partners involved to communicate honestly about what they want and need from each other. The question is whether or not they are in the same space mentally and whether they want similar things. To give an example, an 18 year old who wants to go out and party constantly and a 26 year old who is focused on the future and their career may not be on the same page. This is both a case of maturity and a case of both people being at different stages in their lives. It's important to establish what both partners want if the relationship is going to be anything more than casual. Relationships don't just happen; they take work, and sometimes they may not work out. So before the risk of being in a relationship is taken, both people should give themselves a fair chance to understand one another. If on a casual level neither partner is able to communicate what they want from an eventual relationship, then it probably isn't going to work on a long-term basis.
Original post by Dragonfly07
Somehow I find a 46 year old with a 22 year old better than a 26 year old with an 18 year old. Mainly because I think 22 year olds are more grounded whereas 18 year olds are still slightly in the process of maturity development (both physical and mental).
Having read all your comments in this thread, I personally agree with you.
Technically, there's nothing wrong with it, but in practice it's unlikely to work out long term. Plus (depending on the individuals), I think I'd find it strange if it were my friends. I know some very immature 26 year olds & mature 18 year olds, & vice versa. I don't think there's a clear cut "yeah that's weird" or "no that's ok". The best I can say is that as a general rule I'd find it weird, unless they were actually particularly well suited.
Legally it's 2 consenting adults in this country, but I don't consider an 18 year old adult, but that's my opinion.
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I would think it's more about experience over age.
A 26 year old would, most likely, have experienced a lot more than the 18 year old, so in that way it might be a little strange dating someone who still has to go through that process of growing up, but as long as they're happy and willing to put the effort into their relationship, I don't think it would be weird or a problem!
A 26 year old would, most likely, have experienced a lot more than the 18 year old, so in that way it might be a little strange dating someone who still has to go through that process of growing up, but as long as they're happy and willing to put the effort into their relationship, I don't think it would be weird or a problem!
OP: what we can all agree on is that there is a lot of learning in every year you grow older, let alone how ever many years it is between you and said 18-year-old.
If you two can relate, then obviously there's nothing inherently wrong with it, but you have to consider the stigma that will be attached regardless of the two parties involved.
All common sense, really.
If you two can relate, then obviously there's nothing inherently wrong with it, but you have to consider the stigma that will be attached regardless of the two parties involved.
All common sense, really.
(edited 11 years ago)
Original post by WhiteWalker
I am just curious about your thoughts on this.
What do you think about 26 year old guy dating an 18 year old girl though? Would it be strange or not?
What do you think about 26 year old guy dating an 18 year old girl though? Would it be strange or not?
No, it's not strange at all. I can't see any problem in this. Two adults, both having relationships because they want too. This is free will of two individuals.
No one should tell two adult individuals what makes "them happy" in their life. If you two are happy with each other, then go for it. That's what counts. Being denied hapiness because some might think you are "old" is crazy.
Original post by Oh_Nayomi
I don't see anything wrong with it, but personally I wouldn't as I don't think I'm mature enough 
The 26 year old man has already completed his education, probably standing on his own feet, but the 18 year old girl hasn't even started university. What about her education and aspirations? Relationships are always demanding and she will not be able to give that kind of attention to her studies. If the man is really in love with her, he can wait. I would wait for her.
Not wrong.
Not especially strange given how often things like this happen.
Probably a case of the girl being immature and thinking 'ooh he's old and will be more mature'/having more money than people her age and thus finding him attractive, and the guy using her in the obvious manner and not really being any more mature than the average 18 year old, because most people never achieve a much greater level of maturity.
Obviously there are situations involving people of these ages where both are great and it all works out fine, but it's a small minority.
Not especially strange given how often things like this happen.
Probably a case of the girl being immature and thinking 'ooh he's old and will be more mature'/having more money than people her age and thus finding him attractive, and the guy using her in the obvious manner and not really being any more mature than the average 18 year old, because most people never achieve a much greater level of maturity.
Obviously there are situations involving people of these ages where both are great and it all works out fine, but it's a small minority.
Original post by Katiekj25
I'm assuming this was directed at me? No, I'm 19. She was 18 when she had me.
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No, the post what just meant to be a joke
I had a casual thing with a 25 year old when I was 18.
I don't know, I think it depends. If she's particularly naive or immature then obviously you shouldn't get involved. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing at all, you just need to have similar ideas of what you want out of the relationship, which sometimes doesn't happen when there's an age difference like that. She will also change a lot in the next few years, and you have to be prepared for that.
I don't know, I think it depends. If she's particularly naive or immature then obviously you shouldn't get involved. I don't think it's necessarily a bad thing at all, you just need to have similar ideas of what you want out of the relationship, which sometimes doesn't happen when there's an age difference like that. She will also change a lot in the next few years, and you have to be prepared for that.
My boyfriend is 31 and I am 18. I met him when he was 30. We get on better than any other couple and I relate to him more than I ever have some dweeb who is the same age as me. 
he treats me a hell of a lot better too!
Judge away idc.
I don't know why people are still so weird about this. Like who cares just be happy. As long as there is no abuse going on then why should it be any different to any other couple? Yawn
he treats me a hell of a lot better too!Judge away idc.
I don't know why people are still so weird about this. Like who cares just be happy. As long as there is no abuse going on then why should it be any different to any other couple? Yawn
Original post by Iamyourfather
You were 8 when she was born.
Yes and she will be 92 when he turns 100.
..................
OP, go for it. Don't let arbitrary societal rules dictate your own desires, if she's legal then she's fair game (exceptions being virgins).
It's not strange at all so long as you get on well. I dated a 26 year old when I was 18 and whilst it didn't work out in the end, it was fun whilst it lasted. I'm currently dating a 27 year old and I'm 19. I don't see the problem with it because age is just a number and guys take longer to mature anyway.
Original post by Dragonfly07
Somehow I find a 46 year old with a 22 year old better than a 26 year old with an 18 year old. Mainly because I think 22 year olds are more grounded whereas 18 year olds are still slightly in the process of maturity development (both physical and mental).
I sort of get where you're coming from, but then again, 18 to 22 is a mere 4 years. And 26 to 46 is a whole 20 years.
While a 22 year old girl may be more grounded than an 18 year old girl, a 26 year old and a man 20 years his elder are more likely to have a much larger difference in physical and mental maturity than the 4 year gap the girls share.
Having said that, I must argue something slightly different in that I really think it depends on the people. So, a quiet, mature, travelled man of 46 year old who is looking to settle down and find a wife and have children etc etc is no match for a 22 year old straight out of uni with a young lifestyle of partying and starting a career. That combination I wouldn't necessarily find wrong in that it shouldn't exist, just really strange and not right.
Equally, I'd find a mature 26 year old man looking to settle and a young-acting 18 year old girl not a correct match.
Basically, what I'm trying to say in short is that it depends on the interests, maturity, and goals for each individual, and how far they match. After that, age becomes just a number which should serve as no obstacle for love of any form.
I've been seeing a 23 (turned 24) year old ever since the rough time of my 17th birthday last summer. I don't know how mature I really am, but I do feel like I have a relatively greater maturity than my other friends, most of which have already turned 18. He's always joking about calling me "mum" because of my motherly attitude to certain things. He, on the other hand, openly admits he acts about 19. I do believe some of both our friends must have been a little apprehensive about our get-together last summer, but I've fit right in with all of them and I think nobody's thought about my age for months.
Age only really matters when the people involved notice it. If they both get along and are on the same page then what is 8 years? I'm 17 and the majority of my male friends are 21-27 just because I find them more interesting and easier to talk to than 17 year old boys, who are rather immature. Maybe I'm just mature for my age, but I don't tend to notice the age gap really when around my older male friends, just the fact that when I was going into High School they were graduating from Uni
I dont think its wierd at all if and its a big IF shes out of school. I really think its very odd a adult 26 year old man dating a school girl I just find it a bit creepy. My boyfriends only 4 years older but I met him at 18 I was on a gap year but he even said if I was still at school he wouldnt have dated me which I understand. Also you have to think at 26 what happens if at 30 you want to settle down and get married ? she will only be 22. Me and my boyfriend had the discussion that if we end up getting married illbe slightly younger than i wanted to be when i got married and he'll be slightly older than he wanted to be
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