I have to be honest, when I read the first paragraphs I thought you were a girl. "I have a really good personality; I'm kind, generous, considerate, thoughtful, a good listener, caring, affectionate".
Not that these characteristics aren't good for both sexes - they are. But they are more prominent in women.
It's great that you have them, but I consider it a warning sign that those are the ones you think matter the most. A man who would want to emphasize him being a great potential partner would say "I have a good personality - I am confident, self-assured, ambitious, outgoing and funny". Maybe you didn't list traits like that because you don't have them, or maybe you just don't realize the importance of them. Either way, these are things women look for.
Regarding the 'normal' social stuff you're mentioning. You don't have to have facebook, or if you did, you don't need to use it actively. But you have to accept that most people do. Not necessarily to show off but to communicate, post events and send invites and tell old friends what they're up to. I talk to friends more over facebook inbox than I do over text (also it's free).
Not everybody drinks to get "smashed". But over a certain age, alcohol is pretty normal. Most of the time I will meet friends for a drink or a glass of wine. Because I like it and because it helps most people loosen up - you too, if you did.
I think you need to lose this attitude that everyone who consumes alcohol or are on facebook/twitter/instagram or do anything else of the normal things young people do today, are hopeless and working against you. Sometimes you have to adjust, if only a little.
If you really cannot relate to anyone in your area because it's a very specific group of people, then consider living somewhere else. Everybody else isn't going to adjust to you.
Regarding friendzone, it's pretty simple. If you don't want to be "just friends" with a girl, don't be. Men who find themselves in the friendzone have most of the time done one of two mistakes. Either they have not actually asked the girl out on a date, or they HAVE, got a negative/ambiguous answer and starting hanging around her feet hoping that she'll change her mind. Set the tone. Be flirtatious, confident, don't try to identify with women or be their emotional outlet. Ask a girl out, if she says no, stop hanging out with her, move on to the next. Simple as that.