Lonely birthdays
My birthday is in the summer holidays, which in the countryside can get very lonely at times. Tomorrow I hit 20, I'm still unsure of what I'll be doing but it will most likely involve but probably tidying the house (we have guests coming in a few days) and celebrating at dinner with my parents and/or boyfriend which is lovely, however I'm starting to worry about my 21st (I'd love to do something big next year) and I'm having concerns about the relationships I have with my friends.
How do i turn this around? Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?
(There's a lot more detail to the situation but the post will be far too long so will include info when necessary)
How do i turn this around? Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?
(There's a lot more detail to the situation but the post will be far too long so will include info when necessary)
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What's the problem with your friendships?
If you want to do something big it's best to plan in advance so people are available.
If you want to do something big it's best to plan in advance so people are available.
Original post by Ladyliesel
What's the problem with your friendships?
If you want to do something big it's best to plan in advance so people are available.
If you want to do something big it's best to plan in advance so people are available.
At uni I put my heart and soul into all my friends/flatmates birthdays, for example I am usually the one who organises the secret cake baking and bday surprise. As I've had this problem for a while I've been doing the same for my friends who have birthday in the Easter/Christmas holidays: I really enjoy surprising them when they come back from holiday but it's been hard not getting anything back. I've never had more than a birthday text from any of my friends since I was 15.
My parents tell me to stop 'wasting money', but I'm not sure what else I can do to have my birthday acknowledged. I understand that next year I'll have to organise something in advance, but I would love to be surprised by my friends or have a card sent to me in the post for a change. On that note, two years ago for my 18th I organised with a group of friends to go to a music festival, I had a great time, probably one of the best birthdays I've ever had. But no-one actually realised it was my birthday and I received no cards or presents from those who attended.
Original post by Ladyliesel
What's the problem with your friendships?
If you want to do something big it's best to plan in advance so people are available.
If you want to do something big it's best to plan in advance so people are available.
I understand that next year I will have to organise something myself in advance. For my 18th I organised with a group of friends to go to a music festival. It was probably the best birthdays I've ever had, but none of my friends actually realised the trip was for my birthday, I received no cards from them, nor any mention of my birthday.
On that note I feel that unless I remind my friends that it's my birthday, I will get nothing out of it. Despite the fact that I put my heart and soul into their birthdays. I once spent £80 on a return train ticket for my friends birthday and I often plan surprise bday parties for my flatmates at university who have birthdays during the holidays: my parent's now tell me to stop 'wasting money' for doing things that I wont get in return, but I'm not sure what else I can do?
Ouch, I do feel sorry for you, kinda because Im in the same boat. Do they know its your birthday though?
Original post by LiamMcMorrow
Ouch, I do feel sorry for you, kinda because Im in the same boat. Do they know its your birthday though?
Yes, I receive a text/facebook message from them every year. My boyfriend's birthday is 3 days after mine so we're both in the same situation, he's the only friend who I get a card/present from every year.
Original post by Anonymous
At uni I put my heart and soul into all my friends/flatmates birthdays, for example I am usually the one who organises the secret cake baking and bday surprise. As I've had this problem for a while I've been doing the same for my friends who have birthday in the Easter/Christmas holidays: I really enjoy surprising them when they come back from holiday but it's been hard not getting anything back. I've never had more than a birthday text from any of my friends since I was 15.
My parents tell me to stop 'wasting money', but I'm not sure what else I can do to have my birthday acknowledged. I understand that next year I'll have to organise something in advance, but I would love to be surprised by my friends or have a card sent to me in the post for a change. On that note, two years ago for my 18th I organised with a group of friends to go to a music festival, I had a great time, probably one of the best birthdays I've ever had. But no-one actually realised it was my birthday and I received no cards or presents from those who attended.
My parents tell me to stop 'wasting money', but I'm not sure what else I can do to have my birthday acknowledged. I understand that next year I'll have to organise something in advance, but I would love to be surprised by my friends or have a card sent to me in the post for a change. On that note, two years ago for my 18th I organised with a group of friends to go to a music festival, I had a great time, probably one of the best birthdays I've ever had. But no-one actually realised it was my birthday and I received no cards or presents from those who attended.
They don't sound like great friends to be honest. I can understand maybe not having the creativity or money to always surprise you, but not remembering your birthday sounds harsh. Did you make sure they knew afterwards? Maybe you need to socialise with new people as well as the friends you have. Ask your friends for suggestions about what you could do for your 21st so it's in their minds.
I hope you enjoy yourself tomorrow regardless. Happy birthday for then
HAPPY BIRTHDAY FOR 2 MORROW:
Original post by Ladyliesel
They don't sound like great friends to be honest. I can understand maybe not having the creativity or money to always surprise you, but not remembering your birthday sounds harsh. Did you make sure they knew afterwards? Maybe you need to socialise with new people as well as the friends you have. Ask your friends for suggestions about what you could do for your 21st so it's in their minds.
I hope you enjoy yourself tomorrow regardless. Happy birthday for then
I hope you enjoy yourself tomorrow regardless. Happy birthday for then
My birthday is at the beginning of the summer holidays, so it's a bit out-of-topic to mention in September to my uni friends! As for my friends at home, they have all made plans with their uni friends, festivals, family holidays or have a job - which is why I haven't/can't make any going out plans for tomorrow.
But thank you for your advice, I spent last year crying on a hospital bed as my brother was hospitalised on my birthday so I'm definitely looking on the bright side this year!
Original post by dasolja123
happy birthday for 2 morrow:
thank you!
It was my birthday on Friday, we'll have an internet birthday week together 
Well, I wish I have a friend like you..anyway, happy birthday 😉
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Anonymous
My birthday is in the summer holidays, which in the countryside can get very lonely at times. Tomorrow I hit 20, I'm still unsure of what I'll be doing but it will most likely involve but probably tidying the house (we have guests coming in a few days) and celebrating at dinner with my parents and/or boyfriend which is lovely, however I'm starting to worry about my 21st (I'd love to do something big next year) and I'm having concerns about the relationships I have with my friends.
How do i turn this around? Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?
(There's a lot more detail to the situation but the post will be far too long so will include info when necessary)
How do i turn this around? Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?
(There's a lot more detail to the situation but the post will be far too long so will include info when necessary)
my 19th birthday was yesterday and it passed boring as 18 last years of my life aaan d i realized nothing important so far ..so its not big deal for you ...we all have this
Happy bornday.
i have never had a birthday party and i'm 21. People are far too unreliable.
Original post by Anonymous
My birthday is in the summer holidays, which in the countryside can get very lonely at times. Tomorrow I hit 20, I'm still unsure of what I'll be doing but it will most likely involve but probably tidying the house (we have guests coming in a few days) and celebrating at dinner with my parents and/or boyfriend which is lovely, however I'm starting to worry about my 21st (I'd love to do something big next year) and I'm having concerns about the relationships I have with my friends.
How do i turn this around? Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?
(There's a lot more detail to the situation but the post will be far too long so will include info when necessary)
How do i turn this around? Does anyone have any similar experiences/advice?
(There's a lot more detail to the situation but the post will be far too long so will include info when necessary)
My birthday's in the Easter holidays and the same type of thing happened to me this year. To be fair, my three closest uni friends did send me a really nice present and card but I chipped in for at least ten friends birthdays at uni last year and it's slightly annoying that they didn't even send a card or say happy birthday on facebook. I guess it's understandable though with us not all being together.
As for my home friends, only one of them remembered (with the exception of my boyfriend) and that's because his birthday is the day after mine. I've known my home friendship group for seven years so it did hurt a bit. My boyfriend was working so I spent the day at home on my own.
I guess I learned that if you want your birthday to be acknowledged you have to organise a night out or something. As much as I'd love one of my friends to make an effort and do it for me this year shows that it's just not going to happen.
Original post by Anonymous
At uni I put my heart and soul into all my friends/flatmates birthdays, for example I am usually the one who organises the secret cake baking and bday surprise.
To be absolutely honest, this would not make me acknowledge your birthday more, quite the opposite. I'm not a fan of surprise parties and the like. Let's just go out for a drink, is what I say. I'm not a child anymore, so I don't need to have a big party... but maybe that's just me.
I know exactly how you feel. My birthday is at the end of July and none of my friends remember. I always make sure to get my friends presents and cards for their birthdays, and I sometimes don't even get a text. Everyone is away on holiday and no one is around 
It's my 18th soon and I don't imagine they will have remembered.
It's my 18th soon and I don't imagine they will have remembered.
My birthday is in September, so it usually falls only a week or two into the beginning of term and everybody is obsessed with learning their timetable and sussing out their new classes and stuff, and birthdays get ignored. This is exaclty what I like, but in the past when I've wanted to make something of it I organise stuff before the summer term ends to make sure it doesn't get forgotten over the summer. As your birthday is in the holidays itself, it might be a good idea to make sure you celebrate before people go away so friends can definitely be there, like maybe celebrating the week after the end of term? That generally works well anyway because people are in a celebratory mood.
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