Who pays for a birthday meal?
It’s my boyfriends birthday today and we are going for lunch with his friends tomorrow ( 7 of us in total)
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
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You pay for the whole thing
Everyone will pay for there own meal. Or even split the bill if it’s convenient…
It would be a nice gesture for the bday boy to have his meal covered by either yourself or the group.
It would be a nice gesture for the bday boy to have his meal covered by either yourself or the group.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s my boyfriends birthday today and we are going for lunch with his friends tomorrow ( 7 of us in total)
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
If you’re all students or similar you divide the bill into n-1 to cover the cost of your boyfriend who shouldn’t have to pay on his birthday. So if there are 7 of you, the bill gets divided by 6 so that all of those invited takes part of the cost of your boyfriend.
It would be differed if the parents were inviting everyone, but if it’s just you, your bf and your friends, splitting is fine unless you specifically stated that you were inviting them.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s my boyfriends birthday today and we are going for lunch with his friends tomorrow ( 7 of us in total)
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
You are gonna pay for the whole thing, as its ur birthday, ur treat to your friends.
Original post by Anonymous
You are gonna pay for the whole thing, as its ur birthday, ur treat to your friends.
Only if that’s what normally happens in your circle of friends
In which case OP has been invited at all the other birthday dinners and it’s normal that he returns their kindness, but I very much doubt that this is the case.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s my boyfriends birthday today and we are going for lunch with his friends tomorrow ( 7 of us in total)
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
You pay for it, it’s your boyfriend birthday you organised the event and you invited 5 others to come along with you otherwise it wouldn’t have been made possible.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s my boyfriends birthday today and we are going for lunch with his friends tomorrow ( 7 of us in total)
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
It wasn’t a formal invite I suggested lunch and his friends said they would come. My parents are very generous and I’ve grown up with them paying for events like that etc so I feel obliged do the same but I must say a 7 person lunch could get v expensive!
I had originally planned to take my boyfriend out for a nice dinner today but I didn’t book anywhere cos I thought I needed to pay for everyone tomorrow bur my friend said that everyone should pay for themselves and I’ll pay for myself and boyfriend? What is the general consensus here?
Pay for you and your bf.
If I was invited to a friends birthday meal I would assume I was paying my own. If it was a meal for my wife's birthday and her friends I'd pay for mine and my wife's and everyone else would pay their own. Sometimes people would split the meal of the person whose birthday it is, just depends. I'd never expect someone to pay for everyone just because they invited them!
Original post by Mohammed_80
You pay for it, it’s your boyfriend birthday you organised the event and you invited 5 others to come along with you otherwise it wouldn’t have been made possible.
As an adult if you invite you pay, if not it’s not an invite. As a student you suggest a meal together without issuing an actual invitation because unless you are backed by your parents no one has money to throw around. However, if you are not paying you owe it to the others to make sure you choose a restaurant that fits with their budgets.
General etiquette is you split the bill appropriately.
The only times this doesn’t happen is if it’s like two couples and then they alternate who picks up the tab, or one couple grabs food the other buys wine/drinks.
it wouldn’t be fair or reasonable to ask someone to pay for 7 people.
The only times this doesn’t happen is if it’s like two couples and then they alternate who picks up the tab, or one couple grabs food the other buys wine/drinks.
it wouldn’t be fair or reasonable to ask someone to pay for 7 people.
Generally speaking, if you're inviting kids to your kid's birthday party, you pay for everyone.
Different for adults though - I would never assume that I was being paid for if I were invited to an adult's birthday meal.
Different for adults though - I would never assume that I was being paid for if I were invited to an adult's birthday meal.
Expect to pay for all 7 people.
Some of his friends may offer to contribute towards the bill or staff tip, if they do that's fine.
But if they don't, that is because they assume that its a special birthday event that you have arranged and invited them to attend along 'asker pays' lines.
Some of his friends may offer to contribute towards the bill or staff tip, if they do that's fine.
But if they don't, that is because they assume that its a special birthday event that you have arranged and invited them to attend along 'asker pays' lines.
You're not expected to pay for the entire group.
In my group of mates (which includes four couples), we go to these events expecting to pay for our own meal and also a share of the birthday person's meal. Sometimes the person's partner will pay for both of theirs and the rest will just pay for their own.
In my group of mates (which includes four couples), we go to these events expecting to pay for our own meal and also a share of the birthday person's meal. Sometimes the person's partner will pay for both of theirs and the rest will just pay for their own.
Original post by 1582
You're not expected to pay for the entire group.
In my group of mates (which includes four couples), we go to these events expecting to pay for our own meal and also a share of the birthday person's meal. Sometimes the person's partner will pay for both of theirs and the rest will just pay for their own.
In my group of mates (which includes four couples), we go to these events expecting to pay for our own meal and also a share of the birthday person's meal. Sometimes the person's partner will pay for both of theirs and the rest will just pay for their own.
It all depends on the group of friends and where you are in your life and career. A group of high earning professionals invite, and inviting means paying. A group of students or people starting out on their careers suggest an evening out together ( not an invite) and the bill is split with the part of the Birthday persons being shared. Or if the person celebrating their birthday has the means they invite, and in that case can choose on their own where they want to go because the others won’t have to be careful of their budgets.
(edited 11 months ago)
You MUST pay for everyone, including tip and drinks.
As a friend I'd expect to be paying for my own meal in those circumstances. As you say, it want a formal invite to everyone, they've just said they would come.
Original post by Euapp
Only if that’s what normally happens in your circle of friends
In which case OP has been invited at all the other birthday dinners and it’s normal that he returns their kindness, but I very much doubt that this is the case.
In which case OP has been invited at all the other birthday dinners and it’s normal that he returns their kindness, but I very much doubt that this is the case.
Right.
Thanks everyone I ended up offering to pay for everyone as the bill wasn’t too costly and it was for my boyfriend. They thought it was VERY kind and they had all expected to pay for their own which was sweet
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