I want to sleep with my very close friend?

I'm a girl and I'm first year at uni. I am really good friends with this guy, he is probably my closest male friend at uni. Anyway I was never attracted to him until recently and then we ended up kissing and then went to his bed etc. but we did not have sex. I really just see him as a friend though and have lots of affection for him in this way. I do not see myself being in a relationship with him nor do I want that... I just really wanna have sex with him? Is that normal?

Reply 1

Tahnik

2

If he is a very good friend, I think you shouldn't go further. But if you want to have a relationship that's different.

Also depends on his opinion.

Reply 2

SMEGGGY

21

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl and I'm first year at uni. I am really good friends with this guy, he is probably my closest male friend at uni. Anyway I was never attracted to him until recently and then we ended up kissing and then went to his bed etc. but we did not have sex. I really just see him as a friend though and have lots of affection for him in this way. I do not see myself being in a relationship with him nor do I want that... I just really wanna have sex with him? Is that normal?

Yes normal but if you cross that point, expect to lose the friendship to akwardness or resentment. Is it worth it at the end of the day

Posted from TSR Mobile

(edited 10 years ago)

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by SMEGGGY

Yes normal but if you crodsr that point, expect to lose the friendship to akwardness or resentment. Is it worth it at the end of the day

I don't think that awkwardness or resentment would be an issue

Reply 4

saltyjohn1

2

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl and I'm first year at uni. I am really good friends with this guy, he is probably my closest male friend at uni. Anyway I was never attracted to him until recently and then we ended up kissing and then went to his bed etc. but we did not have sex. I really just see him as a friend though and have lots of affection for him in this way. I do not see myself being in a relationship with him nor do I want that... I just really wanna have sex with him? Is that normal?

No heterosexual man worth the oxygen he breaths would reject a request to become friends with benefits with a girl of equal/greater attractiveness. Issue is, odds are, one of you is likely to become attached. If either of your are naturally clingy/jelly/needy then don't, otherwise, go for it!

Best bet is to wait until your both a bit tipsy then kiss him, make sure it's evident it's just for fun, then let it lead on from there. Do you share the same accommodation?

Reply 5

lougarou

1

Can you think of any actual, real problem that would come out of having sex? If you trust your relationship wouldn't move anywhere you don't want, and there's nothing else in the way, go for it. If you're unsure, have a chat about it. Doesn't need to be anything too deep if you don't want, but just check your intentions are the same and there's nothing sticking out as a problem. If he wants more then maybe refrain. "Friends with benefits" is only often a problem when you're on different pages about the emotions involved, how long it might last, if it'll lead somewhere, etc.

Reply 6

Plantagenet Crown

20

Having sex with your close friend would make it awkward afterwards. The chances that you 2 will just carry on being friends and it'll be all fine is slim indeed.

Reply 7

Studentus-anonymous

12

Original post by Anonymous

I'm a girl and I'm first year at uni. I am really good friends with this guy, he is probably my closest male friend at uni. Anyway I was never attracted to him until recently and then we ended up kissing and then went to his bed etc. but we did not have sex. I really just see him as a friend though and have lots of affection for him in this way. I do not see myself being in a relationship with him nor do I want that... I just really wanna have sex with him? Is that normal?

Yes, you're young and horny and he is a viable opportunity regardless of your feelings and stuff.

If the friendship is THAT important just don't act on them, and find someone else to sleep with.

Reply 8

SMEGGGY

21

Original post by Anonymous

I don't think that awkwardness or resentment would be an issue

Then get banging - but will he be up for it? [so to speak]

Reply 9

DwayneT

Now usually I would say no but seeing as you're so eager to just get down and do it with him...

There's only one problem though... How do you have sex with a teddy bear? XD

And where did he manage to get a bed? Damn, this must be one really attractive teddy. I bet it's because he never talks, he just listens...

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Reply 10

Lotus_Eater

7

I can't help but feel the answer is to cherish and respect the friendship. Meanwhile, if the OP feels frisky, why not pursue that in the context of a romantic relationship? When we start desiring our friends but not actually wanting to date them, that might be better understood as a desire for intimacy in our lives more generally. Rather than fulfilling that initial impulse, we should ask what's really missing in our lives are look for that.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Plantagenet Crown

Having sex with your close friend would make it awkward afterwards. The chances that you 2 will just carry on being friends and it'll be all fine is slim indeed.

Why would it make it awkward? I don't understand why people think this. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. What even IS awkward.

Reply 12

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Why would it make it awkward? I don't understand why people think this. It's only awkward if you make it awkward. What even IS awkward.

Well, just imagine the moment after sex. What are you gonna say? Or imagine the morning, when you will wake up next to him. Wouldn't it be awkward?
I'm in exactly the same situation as you. I really want to have sex with my best friend but I'm scared of the consequences ( awkwardness, emotions for him etc). It's just so confusing :redface:

Reply 13

lougarou

1

Original post by Anonymous

Well, just imagine the moment after sex. What are you gonna say? Or imagine the morning, when you will wake up next to him. Wouldn't it be awkward?

I dunno, "fancy a cup of tea"? Seems to work for me.

Reply 14

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

Well, just imagine the moment after sex. What are you gonna say? Or imagine the morning, when you will wake up next to him. Wouldn't it be awkward?
I'm in exactly the same situation as you. I really want to have sex with my best friend but I'm scared of the consequences ( awkwardness, emotions for him etc). It's just so confusing :redface:

I think you are overthinking things. I used to have a friends with benefits situation with a good friend of mine about a year ago. Was never awkward. Granted I was not as good friends with him as I am with this guy, but I think being better friends makes it less awkward. Honestly awkwardness is a created phenomenon. There are not events which are all universally awkward. It's people that MAKE them awkward.

Reply 15

Gray Wolf

9

Original post by Anonymous

I think you are overthinking things. I used to have a friends with benefits situation with a good friend of mine about a year ago. Was never awkward. Granted I was not as good friends with him as I am with this guy, but I think being better friends makes it less awkward. Honestly awkwardness is a created phenomenon. There are not events which are all universally awkward. It's people that MAKE them awkward.

Well yea of course it is a created phenomenon just like emotions, we are not born innately with it, just as we are not born with a sense of dignity as is apparent here. The awkwardness arises when the guy may want a relationship yet you don't and thus gets confused and frustrated, which essentially destroys the "friendship" and whatever little thing you had going on.

Reply 16

Old_Simon

12

So you kissed and went to his bed but didn't have sex ?

I want to sleep with my very close friend?

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