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My mum is judging me for not eating more birthday cake.

So it was my mum's birthday on Monday and I went out for a meal, she didn't want the cake they made there so she asked me to take it home for my Dad and I. So we did, and it was quite tasty.

However I also know this secretly part of her plan to plump me up because she thinks I'm too skinny, and sometimes I feel like she's crying because she suspects I'm anorexic (which I almost was, and I'm confused what if I'm becoming one :/)

So I sort of compulsively had 2 slices of this small lemon sponge that we took home, fearing about her secretly judging me/being disappointed in me/worried if I didn't have it.

However today she offered to bring around another cake, since she was nearby. But I was really stressed at the time so I said no thank you.

I now feel like I've completely let her down, I'm getting really stressed but I just wasn't hungry :frown:

I've been obsessing about this 'my mum wants me to eat cake' for 3 years now!
Reply 1
I don't want my mum getting upset about her 21 year old son not having more cake, but if I was a more positive stronger person I would eat more cake for her. However this is counterproductive to going to the gym, but that's another story. I don't know what to do. I'm actually in a state over a bloody slice of cake, and the saying no to it.
Original post by Riku
So it was my mum's birthday on Monday and I went out for a meal, she didn't want the cake they made there so she asked me to take it home for my Dad and I. So we did, and it was quite tasty.

However I also know this secretly part of her plan to plump me up because she thinks I'm too skinny, and sometimes I feel like she's crying because she suspects I'm anorexic (which I almost was, and I'm confused what if I'm becoming one :/)

So I sort of compulsively had 2 slices of this small lemon sponge that we took home, fearing about her secretly judging me/being disappointed in me/worried if I didn't have it.

However today she offered to bring around another cake, since she was nearby. But I was really stressed at the time so I said no thank you.

I now feel like I've completely let her down, I'm getting really stressed but I just wasn't hungry :frown:

I've been obsessing about this 'my mum wants me to eat cake' for 3 years now!

If you're not, then you're probably very underweight and concerned right? Then take simple steps to change it :smile: Slowly eat more calorific food healthy of course, like a hemp protein shake with berries and bananas every day and you'll get to a healthy weight in 3 months :smile: Look on the bright side, after it you'll have a bigger appetite as well. Then you can see your mum and ask her for cake. Time heals all.
Reply 3
Original post by Guren
If you're not, then you're probably very underweight and concerned right? Then take simple steps to change it :smile: Slowly eat more calorific food healthy of course, like a hemp protein shake with berries and bananas every day and you'll get to a healthy weight in 3 months :smile: Look on the bright side, after it you'll have a bigger appetite as well. Then you can see your mum and ask her for cake. Time heals all.


No, I'm not very underweight, just a hypochondriac and sugar tends to make my symptoms worse…I have started having protein shakes but I'm worried that they're judging me for it and I'd be better having cake, pie, bee etc. like everyone else. But because it's an obsession I end up binging
Original post by Riku
No, I'm not very underweight, just a hypochondriac and sugar tends to make my symptoms worse…I have started having protein shakes but I'm worried that they're judging me for it and I'd be better having cake, pie, bee etc. like everyone else. But because it's an obsession I end up binging


I know people with sugar allergies and others much worse, but they take a positive attitude like you can as well just look up "clean bulking" on google their are loads of varieties. And let people judge! People are unfit and they become fit, look up pictures of transformations as well, they can really inspire you! You can do this and mix this in with gym and get fit :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Guren
I know people with sugar allergies and others much worse, but they take a positive attitude like you can as well just look up "clean bulking" on google their are loads of varieties. And let people judge! People are unfit and they become fit, look up pictures of transformations as well, they can really inspire you! You can do this and mix this in with gym and get fit :smile:


But getting fit will make her unhappy since she is overweight and she would prefer me to be too, so I can't get fit even though I'm a hypochondriac :-/
Original post by Riku
But getting fit will make her unhappy since she is overweight and she would prefer me to be too, so I can't get fit even though I'm a hypochondriac :-/

Using that logic, if your mum was a drug addict, and you deciding to quit drugs "made her unhappy" you wouldn't do it? Of course not, you have a brain to see the bigger picture. Getting healthy requires you to step out your "comfort zone" and you will face conflicts along the way, but once you get there, you wish you'd never looked back and thank me for it. Once your fit you can help her as well. Being fat and getting diabetes and high blood pressure isn't healthy, if you really love her, do whats best for their health!
My mother judges me for getting high on weekends. This will sometimes lead to excessive consumption of cake. I feel your pain-just in reverse.
Mate this is worrying, your mum judging you over something as unimportant as cake, I mean, come ooon.
It's cake. CAKE. How can cake cause so much trouble?
Reply 10
Original post by Maid Marian
It's cake. CAKE. How can cake cause so much trouble?

tell that to bruce bogtrotter
(edited 9 years ago)
Reply 11
Original post by Plantagenet Crown
Mate this is worrying, your mum judging you over something as unimportant as cake, I mean, come ooon.



Original post by Maid Marian
It's cake. CAKE. How can cake cause so much trouble?


Because I don't think she likes me being skinny and she makes passive-aggressive skinny-shaming at me.

Original post by Guren
Using that logic, if your mum was a drug addict, and you deciding to quit drugs "made her unhappy" you wouldn't do it? Of course not, you have a brain to see the bigger picture. Getting healthy requires you to step out your "comfort zone" and you will face conflicts along the way, but once you get there, you wish you'd never looked back and thank me for it. Once your fit you can help her as well. Being fat and getting diabetes and high blood pressure isn't healthy, if you really love her, do whats best for their health!


Intellectually I know what's best for me, emotionally it cripples me to think of her hurting as a result :/
I'm not sure if you're the most elaborate troll ever, or just seriously obsessed with over-analyzing things
Original post by Riku
I don't want my mum getting upset about her 21 year old son not having more cake, but if I was a more positive stronger person I would eat more cake for her. However this is counterproductive to going to the gym, but that's another story. I don't know what to do. I'm actually in a state over a bloody slice of cake, and the saying no to it.

Quoted for immortality; carry on.
Reply 14
May be you can ask her to pack the cake for you and you can give it to your friends, or tell her that you have some problem with your teeth and you cannot have. Excess of sugar is bad for health.
So let's have some quantifiable stuff... What's your height/weight or BMI?

In your first msg you said you had been/were almost anorexic? Why did you think this?

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Riku, i wish you were my friend IRL. We would have interesting conversations. :p:

Just tell your mum what you told us and your plan to get to a healthier weight. I wouldn't assume that she has an ulterior motive until she clearly implies that.
Do you not have anything to occupy yourself with instead of worrying about such insignificant things??
Reply 18
Original post by gustavus
So let's have some quantifiable stuff... What's your height/weight or BMI?

In your first msg you said you had been/were almost anorexic? Why did you think this?

Sent from my GT-I9100 using Tapatalk 2


6 foot and 11 stone ish
killing my gains from stress and sleep deprivation however
Reply 19
Original post by Joyful_soul
Riku, i wish you were my friend IRL. We would have interesting conversations. :p:

Just tell your mum what you told us and your plan to get to a healthier weight. I wouldn't assume that she has an ulterior motive until she clearly implies that.


We can have interedting conversationg anyway :-p

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