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Non-drivers who expect lifts. Does this make me a bad person?
Okay I have 3 friends who live near me. I was the last to have my birthday but the first to pass their test. One of my friends was learning to drive but gave up as he didn't like it after 10 hours. The other two were still learning.
When I first passed I offered them lifts into college most days. This I didn't mind. However, after a month or 2 I started picking up on how much a car actually costs to run.
I started getting a bit bothered as in the morning, instead of texting me to ask me if I was going in or not they would simply text "can I get a lift?" I would say yes most days and they would come round and I would drive them to college. Then they would also get a lift home if they left college when I did.
One of them passed his test and got a car. I started asking if he wanted to take turns for lifts and he kept saying his car was broken. One morning he asked for a lift, I said okay and then when he got in the car I asked him when his car will be fixed and he said it had been for a while. This bugged me.
So now, after a few months. One guy hasn't passed his test and fails to start learning again. The one who passed and had a broken car never goes into college anymore, and the other guy has passed his test but hardly ever drives and his parents use the car.
So I'm still driving in these 2 people. They seem to expect the lifts. I started getting annoyed that they got the same privilege as me, getting to college much quicker and didn't have to pay for anything. All together, the car was 1000, insurance 1300 and 100 p/month for fuel on a part time job. I joke about it, asking them for petrol money and they just laughed it off.
After a while I was getting really bugged though. Constantly getting the texts in the morning. I said to them seriously, that, I pay a lot to maintain and keep the car going. So far they hadn't had to pay anything ,yet even though they lived close to me and went to the same place, I was bugged as I had to pay for something they were getting for free. At the same time I was driving so it's like they're even more better off. The kid who stopped learning did so because I made it to easy for him (I believe). They were even late to my house sometimes, making me late.
My question is am I bad for feeling this way? Their excuse every time is "well you're driving that way anyway so It doesn't cost you any extra". I keep telling them to put themselves in my shoes and explaining to them what I've said above. I feel really bad every time they bring it up as it makes me sound like a prick. They get a lift to college and back to their front door every day and laugh when I get annoyed at them for scratching the paintwork with their bags or swinging the door out fast when there's a raised kerb that it could hit.
I don't expect them to pay much but im paying, 1300 for insurance, 1000 for the car, 140 for tax and at least 100 for MOT. I pay for ALL of this on my part time job at Weekends. The fuel is around £100 a month.
Sorry about any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone. If it doesn't make sense at any point, please point it out.
Tl;dr My friends get lifts to college every day from me and have never given anything back.
When I first passed I offered them lifts into college most days. This I didn't mind. However, after a month or 2 I started picking up on how much a car actually costs to run.
I started getting a bit bothered as in the morning, instead of texting me to ask me if I was going in or not they would simply text "can I get a lift?" I would say yes most days and they would come round and I would drive them to college. Then they would also get a lift home if they left college when I did.
One of them passed his test and got a car. I started asking if he wanted to take turns for lifts and he kept saying his car was broken. One morning he asked for a lift, I said okay and then when he got in the car I asked him when his car will be fixed and he said it had been for a while. This bugged me.
So now, after a few months. One guy hasn't passed his test and fails to start learning again. The one who passed and had a broken car never goes into college anymore, and the other guy has passed his test but hardly ever drives and his parents use the car.
So I'm still driving in these 2 people. They seem to expect the lifts. I started getting annoyed that they got the same privilege as me, getting to college much quicker and didn't have to pay for anything. All together, the car was 1000, insurance 1300 and 100 p/month for fuel on a part time job. I joke about it, asking them for petrol money and they just laughed it off.
After a while I was getting really bugged though. Constantly getting the texts in the morning. I said to them seriously, that, I pay a lot to maintain and keep the car going. So far they hadn't had to pay anything ,yet even though they lived close to me and went to the same place, I was bugged as I had to pay for something they were getting for free. At the same time I was driving so it's like they're even more better off. The kid who stopped learning did so because I made it to easy for him (I believe). They were even late to my house sometimes, making me late.
My question is am I bad for feeling this way? Their excuse every time is "well you're driving that way anyway so It doesn't cost you any extra". I keep telling them to put themselves in my shoes and explaining to them what I've said above. I feel really bad every time they bring it up as it makes me sound like a prick. They get a lift to college and back to their front door every day and laugh when I get annoyed at them for scratching the paintwork with their bags or swinging the door out fast when there's a raised kerb that it could hit.
I don't expect them to pay much but im paying, 1300 for insurance, 1000 for the car, 140 for tax and at least 100 for MOT. I pay for ALL of this on my part time job at Weekends. The fuel is around £100 a month.
Sorry about any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone. If it doesn't make sense at any point, please point it out.
Tl;dr My friends get lifts to college every day from me and have never given anything back.
(edited 9 years ago)
I would ask them to split it with you, if not, tell them to piss off.
If they are always getting lifts they have to foot the bill.
And if they don't care about your car, then that's a sign they don't appreciate you doing them a favour. I wouldn't do this for my best friends (who I consider my brothers) because It's unfair.
If they are always getting lifts they have to foot the bill.
And if they don't care about your car, then that's a sign they don't appreciate you doing them a favour. I wouldn't do this for my best friends (who I consider my brothers) because It's unfair.
It literally doesn't affect you whatsoever though 
If you stop giving them all lifts, you're still gonna be making the daily journey anyway, and it's not exactly going to save you £££
It's your decision though. If the feeling that your friends are benefiting from you having a car (and aren't paying you for it) bothers you, tell them to stop... You obviously care a lot since you made a thread about it. When I was in sixth form people used to pay the driver ~50p each per day? Maybe you could ask them for that.
The only thing is that your friends might view you as a bit tight.
If you stop giving them all lifts, you're still gonna be making the daily journey anyway, and it's not exactly going to save you £££It's your decision though. If the feeling that your friends are benefiting from you having a car (and aren't paying you for it) bothers you, tell them to stop... You obviously care a lot since you made a thread about it. When I was in sixth form people used to pay the driver ~50p each per day? Maybe you could ask them for that.
The only thing is that your friends might view you as a bit tight.
Original post by tnetennba
It literally doesn't affect you whatsoever though If you stop giving them all lifts, you're still gonna be making the daily journey anyway, and it's not exactly going to save you £££
If you stop giving them all lifts, you're still gonna be making the daily journey anyway, and it's not exactly going to save you £££ Would save you some due to the weight, just saying and he wouldn't be late and his car wouldn't get damaged
Yeah this is why I don't have any friends. They're clearly exploiting your good nature. They are leeching off you quite blatantly. I've always hated people who shamelessly leech off other people and constantly ask for and expect lifts. I've never done this, I've relied on public transport for years and would never ask anyone for a lift to school or university. You just need to tell them no. That it's over and they need to start driving their own cars.
Thanks for everyone's input, it's a shame as they are friends I have had for years. I think they just don't understand the reality of the costs associated with it.
To your first point. It's just that the fact that one of them has given up on driving shows he has become relaxed about it with no intention of returning the favour. He has the money for lessons and actually bought a fully working car off his brother for a pound. He then sold the car for £800 and bought a ps4. He has very well off parents who are very lenient with him, they would definitely pay towards a car and insurance for him.
The other friend who's parents own the car does actually return the favour and sometimes drive. As a result I was more understanding towards why he doesn't need to pay. Although the ratio of lifts I give to what he does is around 10:1. Not to mention, he doesn't pay for the car, it's fuel and im pretty sure his parents paid for insurance.
Original post by tnetennba
It literally doesn't affect you whatsoever though If you stop giving them all lifts, you're still gonna be making the d8aily journey anyway, and it's not exactly going to save you £££
It's your decision though. If the feeling that your friends are benefiting from you having a car (and aren't paying you for it) bothers you, tell them to stop... You obviously care a lot since you made a thread about it. When I was in sixth form people used to pay the driver ~50p each per day? Maybe you could ask them for that.
The only thing is that your friends might view you as a bit tight.
If you stop giving them all lifts, you're still gonna be making the d8aily journey anyway, and it's not exactly going to save you £££It's your decision though. If the feeling that your friends are benefiting from you having a car (and aren't paying you for it) bothers you, tell them to stop... You obviously care a lot since you made a thread about it. When I was in sixth form people used to pay the driver ~50p each per day? Maybe you could ask them for that.
The only thing is that your friends might view you as a bit tight.
To your first point. It's just that the fact that one of them has given up on driving shows he has become relaxed about it with no intention of returning the favour. He has the money for lessons and actually bought a fully working car off his brother for a pound. He then sold the car for £800 and bought a ps4. He has very well off parents who are very lenient with him, they would definitely pay towards a car and insurance for him.
The other friend who's parents own the car does actually return the favour and sometimes drive. As a result I was more understanding towards why he doesn't need to pay. Although the ratio of lifts I give to what he does is around 10:1. Not to mention, he doesn't pay for the car, it's fuel and im pretty sure his parents paid for insurance.
Original post by Notterts
Thanks for everyone's input, it's a shame as they are friends I have had for years. I think they just don't understand the reality of the costs associated with it.
To your first point. It's just that the fact that one of them has given up on driving shows he has become relaxed about it with no intention of returning the favour. He has the money for lessons and actually bought a fully working car off his brother for a pound. He then sold the car for £800 and bought a ps4. He has very well off parents who are very lenient with him, they would definitely pay towards a car and insurance for him.
The other friend who's parents own the car does actually return the favour and sometimes drive. As a result I was more understanding towards why he doesn't need to pay. Although the ratio of lifts I give to what he does is around 10:1. Not to mention, he doesn't pay for the car, it's fuel and im pretty sure his parents paid for insurance.
To your first point. It's just that the fact that one of them has given up on driving shows he has become relaxed about it with no intention of returning the favour. He has the money for lessons and actually bought a fully working car off his brother for a pound. He then sold the car for £800 and bought a ps4. He has very well off parents who are very lenient with him, they would definitely pay towards a car and insurance for him.
The other friend who's parents own the car does actually return the favour and sometimes drive. As a result I was more understanding towards why he doesn't need to pay. Although the ratio of lifts I give to what he does is around 10:1. Not to mention, he doesn't pay for the car, it's fuel and im pretty sure his parents paid for insurance.
Wait so they are in a better position to pay themselves.
**** that **** I would not drive them around any more, tell them to piss the **** off because it's unfair you have to work for your hard earned money and they leech off it
Posted from TSR Mobile
(edited 9 years ago)
I give someone a lift from the gym back home about twice a week. I have sort of had enough of it as I have to go a mile out my way to drop them off it's in the opposite direction lol. All because her husband won't pick her up!
it's a shame they are so self centred, given you'd drive anyway it might seem to them a little petty to ask for money every day but they should show you some gratitude e.g. offer to buy you lunch or pay for a cinema ticket/drinks regularly as after all you are saving them both money and time
they probably don't think you're too serious about it since it's been going on so long, I would tell them they need to contribute or they can find their own way, after getting the bus for a week I'm sure they'll change their mind
they probably don't think you're too serious about it since it's been going on so long, I would tell them they need to contribute or they can find their own way, after getting the bus for a week I'm sure they'll change their mind
If they refuse to pitch in, you should refuse to drive them. You're completely entitled to feeling the way you are. They are leeching off you. I'm enraged on your behalf.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Notterts
Okay I have 3 friends who live near me. I was the last to have my birthday but the first to pass their test. One of my friends was learning to drive but gave up as he didn't like it after 10 hours. The other two were still learning.
When I first passed I offered them lifts into college most days. This I didn't mind. However, after a month or 2 I started picking up on how much a car actually costs to run.
I started getting a bit bothered as in the morning, instead of texting me to ask me if I was going in or not they would simply text "can I get a lift?" I would say yes most days and they would come round and I would drive them to college. Then they would also get a lift home if they left college when I did.
One of them passed his test and got a car. I started asking if he wanted to take turns for lifts and he kept saying his car was broken. One morning he asked for a lift, I said okay and then when he got in the car I asked him when his car will be fixed and he said it had been for a while. This bugged me.
So now, after a few months. One guy hasn't passed his test and fails to start learning again. The one who passed and had a broken car never goes into college anymore, and the other guy has passed his test but hardly ever drives and his parents use the car.
So I'm still driving in these 2 people. They seem to expect the lifts. I started getting annoyed that they got the same privilege as me, getting to college much quicker and didn't have to pay for anything. All together, the car was 1000, insurance 1300 and 100 p/month for fuel on a part time job. I joke about it, asking them for petrol money and they just laughed it off.
After a while I was getting really bugged though. Constantly getting the texts in the morning. I said to them seriously, that, I pay a lot to maintain and keep the car going. So far they hadn't had to pay anything ,yet even though they lived close to me and went to the same place, I was bugged as I had to pay for something they were getting for free. At the same time I was driving so it's like they're even more better off. The kid who stopped learning did so because I made it to easy for him (I believe). They were even late to my house sometimes, making me late.
My question is am I bad for feeling this way? Their excuse every time is "well you're driving that way anyway so It doesn't cost you any extra". I keep telling them to put themselves in my shoes and explaining to them what I've said above. I feel really bad every time they bring it up as it makes me sound like a prick. They get a lift to college and back to their front door every day and laugh when I get annoyed at them for scratching the paintwork with their bags or swinging the door out fast when there's a raised kerb that it could hit.
I don't expect them to pay much but im paying, 1300 for insurance, 1000 for the car, 140 for tax and at least 100 for MOT. I pay for ALL of this on my part time job at Weekends. The fuel is around £100 a month.
Sorry about any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone. If it doesn't make sense at any point, please point it out.
Tl;dr My friends get lifts to college every day from me and have never given anything back.
When I first passed I offered them lifts into college most days. This I didn't mind. However, after a month or 2 I started picking up on how much a car actually costs to run.
I started getting a bit bothered as in the morning, instead of texting me to ask me if I was going in or not they would simply text "can I get a lift?" I would say yes most days and they would come round and I would drive them to college. Then they would also get a lift home if they left college when I did.
One of them passed his test and got a car. I started asking if he wanted to take turns for lifts and he kept saying his car was broken. One morning he asked for a lift, I said okay and then when he got in the car I asked him when his car will be fixed and he said it had been for a while. This bugged me.
So now, after a few months. One guy hasn't passed his test and fails to start learning again. The one who passed and had a broken car never goes into college anymore, and the other guy has passed his test but hardly ever drives and his parents use the car.
So I'm still driving in these 2 people. They seem to expect the lifts. I started getting annoyed that they got the same privilege as me, getting to college much quicker and didn't have to pay for anything. All together, the car was 1000, insurance 1300 and 100 p/month for fuel on a part time job. I joke about it, asking them for petrol money and they just laughed it off.
After a while I was getting really bugged though. Constantly getting the texts in the morning. I said to them seriously, that, I pay a lot to maintain and keep the car going. So far they hadn't had to pay anything ,yet even though they lived close to me and went to the same place, I was bugged as I had to pay for something they were getting for free. At the same time I was driving so it's like they're even more better off. The kid who stopped learning did so because I made it to easy for him (I believe). They were even late to my house sometimes, making me late.
My question is am I bad for feeling this way? Their excuse every time is "well you're driving that way anyway so It doesn't cost you any extra". I keep telling them to put themselves in my shoes and explaining to them what I've said above. I feel really bad every time they bring it up as it makes me sound like a prick. They get a lift to college and back to their front door every day and laugh when I get annoyed at them for scratching the paintwork with their bags or swinging the door out fast when there's a raised kerb that it could hit.
I don't expect them to pay much but im paying, 1300 for insurance, 1000 for the car, 140 for tax and at least 100 for MOT. I pay for ALL of this on my part time job at Weekends. The fuel is around £100 a month.
Sorry about any grammatical errors, I typed this on my phone. If it doesn't make sense at any point, please point it out.
Tl;dr My friends get lifts to college every day from me and have never given anything back.
They sound like they're being dicks. Tell them it's unfair that they travel free when you pay to get all of you there, and that they're taking the piss.
(edited 9 years ago)
I don't understand why this bothered you to be honest. Other than when they are late, personally on that situation I would just leave without them. But if I'm going that way anyway it doesn't bother me.
What does annoy me though is when people invite me things just because I can drive them -_-
What does annoy me though is when people invite me things just because I can drive them -_-
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