Thoughts about proposing young?

Please note: I am only posting this anonymously as my girlfriend also uses this site and i don't want her to know it's me asking.

It's my girlfriends birthday soon and we've been together for over 3 years and living together for 2. We're currently both in our first year of university at the same uni. Although we live in different on-campus accommodation, there hasn't been a night yet that one of us hasn't stayed over the others' place.

She will be turning 20 and i'm still 19 (20 in 3 months so for the benefit of this post, we're both just turning 20).

I'm 100% sure she will say yes if i ask her and her friends are all for it. Her mother on the other hand, thinks she's too young.

What are people's thoughts? Is it a good idea or not?

By the way, I'm definitely going to be asking her, just wanted people's thoughts.

Reply 1

Musie Suzie

14

This is between the two of you; not her friends or mother. You're both adults, so do what makes you happy.

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 2

Zarek

21

Could work, but in my view high risk. My rule of thumb would be >25 and known the person for >5 years before plumping for marriage. Divorce is a messy business.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Zarek

Could work, but in my view high risk. My rule of thumb would be >25 and known the person for >5 years before plumping for marriage. Divorce is a messy business.

I've known her for 5 years, we were best friends before we started dating and we still are. Marriage wouldn't happen for a few years as weddings are very expensive and students are very poor..

Reply 4

Bex Adams

1

Just do what makes you both happy, its not her mothers decision who or when she gets married. If the both of you want the marriage to happen then let it happen, one of my friends got engaged when she was 16, and she is the happiest ive seen her ages. Of course everyone had to make a comment, but that bothered neither of them..

Reply 5

High Stakes

18

I think if your girlfriend uses this site frequently, and happens to find this thread she'll easily deduce from all the information you've put on there that you plan on proposing to her. Especially her birthday, and the fact that you two live on campus.

Reply 6

Anonymous #2

Whatttttttttttttttttt you plan to ?? To whatttttt????? On my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by High Stakes

I think if your girlfriend uses this site frequently, and happens to find this thread she'll easily deduce from all the information you've put on there that you plan on proposing to her. Especially her birthday, and the fact that you two live on campus.

This isn't the sort of post she would click on without good reason. If she saw my name, she would definitely read it.. but she tends to stick to threads relating to her studies so would probably ignore this

Reply 8

e aí rapaz

16

My view is that if you plan to spend the rest of your life with somebody, then why rush into marriage anyway? There's no downside to waiting a few more years, and a few years is nothing in the scale of your whole lives.

I also don't really see the point of long engagements.

Reply 9

Profesh

20

Original post by Anonymous

Whatttttttttttttttttt you plan to ?? To whatttttt????? On my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not if I do first. En garde!

Reply 10

Anonymous #3

Why do you want to do it so soon? If you're not getting married for a few years, why not wait to propose? You'll be more mature by then too.

Reply 11

joker12345

19

Just asking - if you were living together and spend that much time together why aren't you living together now? 3 years is a long time, if it were me I'd wait another year or so though - it is your first year and some people change a lot at uni - I know so many long term couples whp've gone and then broken up.

Reply 12

moutonfou

14

Original post by e aí rapaz

My view is that if you plan to spend the rest of your life with somebody, then why rush into marriage anyway? There's no downside to waiting a few more years, and a few years is nothing in the scale of your whole lives.

I also don't really see the point of long engagements.

I feel exactly the same. If you're not planning on getting married imminently, what is so wrong with just knowing that you'd both like to marry each other one day? Why does it need to be a 'formal' arrangement?

I had a similar relationship at uni and there were times when I would have married him on the spot. I was really convinced he would be the person I married. We had discussed it many times and in our head it was a done deal, but we were never formally engaged. And when that relationship ultimately ended because uni ended and we both changed ourselves and our paths, I was glad of that.

I don't see a problem with it. If you want to propose, then propose. Her mother might well have objections, mine objected wholeheartedly to my entire relationship with my other half, but at the end of the day it's your lives.

Reply 14

Andy98

20

Original post by Anonymous

Please note: I am only posting this anonymously as my girlfriend also uses this site and i don't want her to know it's me asking.

It's my girlfriends birthday soon and we've been together for over 3 years and living together for 2. We're currently both in our first year of university at the same uni. Although we live in different on-campus accommodation, there hasn't been a night yet that one of us hasn't stayed over the others' place.

She will be turning 20 and i'm still 19 (20 in 3 months so for the benefit of this post, we're both just turning 20).

I'm 100% sure she will say yes if i ask her and her friends are all for it. Her mother on the other hand, thinks she's too young.

What are people's thoughts? Is it a good idea or not?

By the way, I'm definitely going to be asking her, just wanted people's thoughts.

Don't see anything wrong with it, personally I'd wait till after uni but it's your choice

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 15

Anonymous #4

High risk. Divorce is way too complicated. If you're not gonna get married for a few years I would wait, plus you can save and get her a better ring :-D

Reply 16

UzairSid

Original post by High Stakes

I think if your girlfriend uses this site frequently, and happens to find this thread she'll easily deduce from all the information you've put on there that you plan on proposing to her. Especially her birthday, and the fact that you two live on campus.

Agreed. You've given quite a bit of information.

As for the proposal, I'd say it's too early but if you really want to and think it'll work then sure, why not?

Reply 17

donutaud15

22

Original post by Anonymous

I've known her for 5 years, we were best friends before we started dating and we still are. Marriage wouldn't happen for a few years as weddings are very expensive and students are very poor..

Weddings are only as expensive as you make it to be

Posted from TSR Mobile

Reply 18

superduperweirdo

3

I'm not old enough to be giving out relationship advice, and in this case, it's a matter of marriage !

But here's my two cents, this might sound cheesy, but there must be some sort of a reason as to why you want to propose to her now. If you feel that reason is strong enough to make you actually do it, then do it :smile:

Either today or tomorrow , everyone's always going to have some sort of an issue, be it financial or not. Yet if you think it's right and if you think this is what is best for the both of you, don't question it so much :smile:

Reply 19

MaseratiJay

12

The fact that you are not actually here seeking advice all I can say is all the best to you both on your studies; your relationship and your future!

Thoughts about proposing young?

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