He doesnt want a relationship

Gosh! Seriously?

I wouldnt say he led her on, they got friendly, kissed a bit and he said he wasnt looking for a relationship. Thats totally fair and reasonable of him isnt it?

Surely you cant think that any declaration about whether or not he/she is looking for something long term has to happen any earlier in the friendship than this?

Like someone buys you a coffee and you tell them you are not looking for romance!? OMG. Or someone holds the door open for you and you tell them you are not thinking of marriage!?

Seems to me OP that he told you he wasnt looking for a relationship just about as soon as he reasonably could, that is as soon as it looked as though it could potentially be headed that way. He sounds decent. Have fun, dont do anything you dont want to do, and try not to become emotionally attached because he has been very honest about what he is not looking for.

Good luck!

Ya srsly.

I must be the only person who wouldn't want to kiss someone unless it went further, then. Probably because I get too emotionally attached.

Wow. Ok then.

So if your with someone and they lean in to kiss you do you ask about their long term intentions?

Actions speak louder than words, so if you observe him being attentive/watchful, funny about you being around other guys, sweet/thoughtful, caring, wanting to see you more frequently, doing other couply things with you.. then you have a sense that things might be headed in a healthy direction

That said, one of the reasons girls find me such a mind ****, as I was explaining to a lass the other day, is because I am very affectionate in my behaviour e.g. tactile/physical/paternalistic, yet not so much at my core/emotionally

Actions speak louder than words, so if you observe him being attentive/watchful, funny about you being around other guys, sweet/thoughtful, caring, wanting to see you more frequently, doing other couply things with you.. then you have a sense that things might be headed in a healthy direction

That said, one of the reasons girls find me such a mind ****, as I was explaining to a lass the other day, is because I am very affectionate in my behaviour e.g. tactile/physical/paternalistic, yet not so much at my core/emotionally

Lolno.

Signs are good; keep an eye out, and do keep him on his toes

Come now, you seem to have your head screwed on anyway, and to be fairly astute, I'm sure you'd do just fine without my guidance

P.S. It's you're*

That's one way, yes, but be sophisticated about it, and never manipulate (more than a touch). So don't take any bull****, any messing around, any equivocation e.g. treating you as a casual ting one minute then attempting to lord it over you the next. Ensure consistency, respect and respectability, and reasonable, agreed standards of communication and behaviour

Make sure he knows he's lucky to be dating you, every single time you have contact (without being OTT about it), and make super sure you don't start to build your life/happiness around him unless/until you both move into wanting a relationship together. Also don't shy away from dealing with that stuff if/when you decide you want/need one (be it with him, or someone else)

Sorry but this made me chuckle

Well that's both a bit retarded (objectively speaking) and kinda natural (subjectively speaking) if you're keen on each other

It's not the right thing to do (as in the wrong thing to do to keep your personal business to yourself) unless he's going to find out anyway, in which case I'd just casually mention that you almost hooked up with someone but it was a bit of a fail, turn it into a joke. Do check that he's ok with it and perhaps make him aware that you felt a twinge of guilt as you like him.. (without blowing your cool)

Also, maybe next time bed a boy whom knows what he's doing

Would you be upset if he dicked another girl?

What has worrying about crap that's out of our control ever achieved?

If that's the case then you should not be getting into a casual thing, it will only end in upset if he is subject to other opportunities and is treating it as casual

You know what it is not, and that's a relationship (until the guy changes his attitude and bothers to ask you out)

You: "Oops! Perhaps we need to talk about stuff"

He needs to understand that if he wants exclusivity/loyalty then it's a high quality/meaningful/dependable relationship or no deal

You: "Well, that's news to me buddy!". This is a good chance for you to be a bit of a tinker and make him realise he needs to grow up/shape up

You: "Had I known that's how you felt then I would never have one what I did "

Tell him the above and be completely unphased. It's his own fault. If he wants to sulk about it like a bitch that's his problem. You're a mature young lady and expect a man to be a man. Tell him you regret any upset caused (but do not apologise as it's not your fault) and that it won't happen again if you are to see each other properly

Nor do you need to. You are not in a relationship until he asks you out and you accept. It's your private business

You're losing, pandering to this guy. The guy needs to get it straight: either you're together and it's his business or you're not and you're free to do whatever the hell you like. He needs to grow up. Can't have his cake and eat it

So he's no basis upon which to be guilt tripping you

I think you just need to get everything out on the table with this lad, and when you do, be resolute as ****. That's attractive, and healthy

Last night everything was going smooth, flirting and normal like old times, but then when I didn't reply for half an hour (I fell asleep), he said "do you promise me that you didn't do anything thing more than get off with people at the party". I'm said I'm pretty sure, I was very drunk and cannot remember much, I don't think I did do anything,however I have not spoken to the lad that I was kissing. At first he didn't even know my name and I think he was quite drunk too.