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Friendship between an introvert and extrovert

Sorry for the long story but anyway,
Bynature i am extremely introverted and part of being introverted means that u form a small but strong network of friendships that mean a lot.

Recently, i had become very close friends with someone who is the exact opposite of me, an extreme extrovert, a popular kid who knows and is friends with everyone.(At this point i should state that for about a month we studied together from morning till night almost every day for the a levels mostly with just the 2 of us)

However, with extroverts (i feel that) each particular friendship is much less meaningful and important, or at least they make it seem that way. I could state examples but that would have this already overlong post even longer.

Anyway this has resulted in me feeling that he means a lot more to me than i do to him and it makes me feel like trash, like something that to simply be used and shoved in the corner when convenient. It makes me feel worthless and empty.

This, along with myriad other factors has caused my depression to worsen and it has gotten to the point where i find myself researching ''quick, painless and reliable suicide methods'' at 1am in the morning.

I am considering breaking the friendship completely to stop the pain but i am afraid that this may just be the depression talking (since depressed people tend to have difficulty maintaining close friendships) and i may end unnecessarily losing a close friend to depression.

What do you think i should do?

Reply 1

yo radical one

Extroverts are easier to make friends with, but introverts do make better more intense friends.

Reply 2

123doglover

I have this exact same situation, and I know what you mean about it feeling horrible, but at the same time I think you're definitely worrying about something you don't need to be worrying about at all.

I know this would be hard, but have you considered talking to your friend about it? You don't have to go into huge detail. People are surprisingly understanding and he won't want to be making you feel like this.

I wouldn't say that you feel like you're more invested than he is or anything, because that might come across as ungrateful or make him feel defensive. It depends what you want from him - if spending more time hanging out just the two of you, or feeling like he makes as much effort to see you would help, or whatever, why not just say that? It would take a huge amount of bravery, but if you could say to him that you really value him as a friend he'd probably say the same about you. Maybe just explain that because you're introverted you need to make time to really focus on your friendship - but also recognise that for your friendship to work, you also have to think about what he needs/wants as an extrovert (just as much as you want him to be a certain way, he'll want things to be a certain way.)

It might be that he doesn't feel as intensely about your friendship as you do - sometimes that's just the way things are, but it won't be about you, it'll be about the way he is. It's better to ask him, though.

As someone who is a bit of both (introverted and extroverted) it really is just about the way people do things. It probably wouldn't occur to him on his own, so try to think about the fact that actually telling someone what you want from them makes it easier for them to know what to do, and people really appreciate that.

Reply 3

sb97

I can see that you're doubting yourself and feel as if you're not worth his friendship; but honestly, I think introvert/extrovert friendships are amazing as you get the balance of personalities which builds a strong foundation for a life-long friendship. I'm really sorry to hear that you're contemplating suicide - please don't; you're worth a lot to many people even if you do not know it. I have been in your position before and death seems like such an easy option and it is, but it's much better to give life a go instead of losing many opportunities by ending it.

Talk to your friend

:smile: