Going into my second year of sixth form but not in a friend group

For a bit of context I'm a guy and I'm going into year 13 in September but I'm not part of any friend groups and I don't know what to do. I have a handful of friends at school but they're all spread across different friend groups so normally at break and lunch I leave the campus and walk around the local area a bit to avoid having to hang around school by myself. I don't really know what to do because even though my friends are part of other friend groups I don't like to hang out in their groups either because I don't like their other friends, I don't know their other friends or because I don't want to butt in and almost force myself into their friend groups, but I hate always being on my own, especially because I feel like people judge me or get a certain impression of me because they always see me on my own.

For example, two of my friends, one of which I would consider my closest friend are part of a fairly large friend group and even though there is nothing stopping me hanging out in that group I try not to because while I like my two friends in that group, there are a few people in the group who I straight up don't like, as a lot of the people in the group are very loud and somewhat rude and say some fairly strange things, and even my friends would admit this. The group as a whole has a reputation at my sixth form as being the 'weird' group and while in a lot of cases this is undeserved, in this case I can see while people say that. I like hanging out with my two friends in that group but I tend to limit my time with them to free periods because of the fact they hang out with that group and I don't enjoy hanging out in that group at all.

My other two friends are split between two separate friend groups (one is a girl the other a guy) and I hang out with the guy in a lot of my lunch breaks in the music rooms recently, though he has another friend who he's fairly close with and a lot of the time when it's just the three of us I feel like my friend is very much prioritising his closest friend over me, which he doesn't do on purpose but it still gets on my nerves.

I know I could be in a much worse situation and I do appreciate the friends I have, but I feel like I'm just drifting and because I'm not part of a specific friend group it comes of to other people like I just don't have any friends at all. For example, before form most people will be waiting outside the building, talking to their friends, but because all my friends are in their specific friend groups I just stand by myself which I hate because there's so many people there who just see me on my own, pretty much by choice, which gives the impression that I have no friends and it makes me feel a bit embarrassed. I really don't want to go through the next year in the same situation because it is kind of draining always being on my own.

There are quite a few people who I sit next to in lessons who I get on really well with but I'm hesitant to hang out with those people outside of lessons because in the past I never saw the distinction between people friends with me, and people being friendly with me, which led to me assuming with people that because we got on pretty well in lessons we were friends but we weren't. I don't want to seem like I'm forcing myself into their friend group, especially because in most cases they'll be part of a big friend group with lots of people I have never even spoke to which makes me a bit anxious and puts me off the whole idea.

Reply 1

notyaaverage

Hello there, I relateeee to this. I lowkey felt like I was reading something I would've written 😭 crazy! Anyway, I would definitely say try speaking to your guy friend about how you feel he prioritises his other friend over you, especially if you feel he isn't doing it on purpose, it will make him aware of it and then he can maybe better split his time between you and his other friend?
And I'd also say this, maybe alleviate the pressure to have people that are "friends". That's a journey I've taken, where I know there's ppl I can hang out and laugh with but I wouldn't call "friends". Me and those ppl can get on super well, but I just wouldn't call them friends per se. I say this cos I feel like the world today uses the word 'friend' really lightly, when it's based on reciprocity (consistent give and take, both ways), which friendships often lack today.

Reply 2

notyaaverage

I have more to say 😂
Sorry that it's like this - it's really jarring and draining feeling like you don't fit in, I feel like I've felt this my whole life!
Maybe don't make yourself belong to a specific friend group? I think it's actually quite healthy to (as much as you can) have a wider range of people to talk to, so maybe that's one thing that may help.
Also, though it's difficult, try to embrace being alone. I really think that boy or girl, introvert or extrovert, every person really should. While we would love for people to be around us, there are times when we are alone (whether literally or metaphorically). Make your brain and self a great place to be and take time (like walks) to learn about you. There's honestly nothing to be embarrassed about, but believe me, I know the feeling, been walking alone since Y7 (on and off), had the questions "are you depressed?" "where's your friends?" 🙄
I hope this helped and didn't come across rude/harsh..

Reply 3

Livvy:)123

Hi, I dropped out of my sixth form and am due to start up again at a private online school, friendship groups at sixth form are hard and to be honest it would be a really good idea to make friends with the people you study with, they will know you from lessons, ask them if they want to form study groups. To be honest they might appreciate it more because year 13 is hard because of exams, use common denominators as a factor for example if you see someone more than once in history talk to them about a study group and a place to meet, friendships are algorithms and if you find the common digit you can figure out the rest, natural bonds form over shared tasks and problems. Hope this helps :smile: