Struggling with university

Hello,

I’m currently a first year student, and I’m struggling with socialising, I’ve tried to put myself out there as much as I can but I can’t make meaningful friendships. Other individuals I am acquainted with are literally making new friends everyday whilst I struggle, I’m not sure what to do. Any tips for socialising and being more extroverted

Anon,

Try not to compare yourself with others when it comes to how quickly you make friends. It can be easy to get to know a lot of people quickly and to form friendships, but for those friendships to be pretty superficial. It's about quality rather than quantity!

It takes time to get to know people, so the only way to speed up making friends is to have more opportunities to get to know people better. Perhaps it's inviting them to an event or asking them if they want study in the library together, grab lunch on the weekend, watch a film, go to a sports activity...etc. Maybe it's making the effort to contact them more frequently or to ask them more questions or to share more with them when you're having a bad or good day or are worried or nervous about a project or are looking forward to the weekend because you are off to see family etc...The more they can find out about you and your personality and character and the more that you can do the same, the easier it will be to relate to that person and to share life with them!

Finally, just be yourself. It's true that it's important to be willing to talk to new people and to make the effort to socialise, but people like authenticity. They like people who are relaxed, confident and just themselves, rather than people trying to be something they're not – so be your best self!

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Hello,

I’m currently a first year student, and I’m struggling with socialising, I’ve tried to put myself out there as much as I can but I can’t make meaningful friendships. Other individuals I am acquainted with are literally making new friends everyday whilst I struggle, I’m not sure what to do. Any tips for socialising and being more extroverted

Hello,

I’m currently a first year student, and I’m struggling with socialising, I’ve tried to put myself out there as much as I can but I can’t make meaningful friendships. Other individuals I am acquainted with are literally making new friends everyday whilst I struggle, I’m not sure what to do. Any tips for socialising and being more extroverted

Hello,

I’m currently a first year student, and I’m struggling with socialising, I’ve tried to put myself out there as much as I can but I can’t make meaningful friendships. Other individuals I am acquainted with are literally making new friends everyday whilst I struggle, I’m not sure what to do. Any tips for socialising and being more extroverted

Hey,

I can truly relate to this. During my first year at university, I immensely struggled with making friends. I joint societies but that did not seem to help. I am simply introverted by nature and was struggling with adapting to university.

I ended up finding someone online who did the same course as me and we both ended up exchanging numbers. This helped me more than I can express as it aided with the anxiety I felt of not knowing anybody on my first day. After that, I made my second friend because we had to do teamwork. I turned around and walked straight over after a few minuities of anxiety-filled deliberation, and it was the best decision of my life. I introduced the two of them and that pretty much sums up how I made my friends at university.

However, what worked the best for me was my job. I applied for my university Student Ambassador scheme and although the first few months were lonely - I quickly realised who I was regularly working with. This was helpful as we would approach each other knowing that we would have to be seeing each other a lot.

I'm now a Senior Student Ambassador and it really was the best decision of my University life. I made friends with people from all walks of life. My move to Senior Ambassador left me in a position where I had to lead teams and be more extroverted.

I now give Welcome Talks at events and I would never of been able to put myself out there if not for forcing myself to become Student Ambassador as it helped me leave my shell.

Another way that helped me was applying to become a committee member for Societies. This forced me into a position of interaction and helped me become more extroverted.

I hope this helped!! Sorry if I blabbed about my own experiences for too long - we all have different experiences but as someone who was so introverted, I thought I'd share mine.

Warmly,
Iris - third-year Politics student at City, University of London

Hey, how are you? I hope you're doing okay. I know you've already received lots of great advice below, but just thought I'd also share my experience and some advice if that's okay.

I know it's easier said than done, but try not put too much pressure on yourself. First year can be daunting, and getting used to socialising and trying to make new friends is so tough for a lot of people! I was in the same boat, I've always been shy and anxious and found making friends extremely difficult. The only plus side that I was on same course as my best friend, but I think that actually made my socialising worse as I felt I didn't really need to try step out my comfort zone and try make new friends.

Not everyone makes these friends for life though. And not everyone makes friends straight away, it can just happen naturally over time. I know I didn't start feeling more confident in speaking to people until my final year, everyone's university experience is different and that's absolutely okay!

The individuals you're acquainted with who are making friends, would you feel comfortable enough to ask to hang out with them and then you can meet their other friends? Perhaps you could suggest forming a study group, then going for coffee or a walk after? You could also add course mates on social media and start small by replying to one of their stories and seeing if that starts a conversation.

I'm not good with small talk, but I do find it easier when it's about something I love such as TV shows and books and then I can talk non stop, so maybe you can try find a common ground with someone. Joining a club or society if you haven't already can help with this as you'll literally be surrounded by people who share at least one common interest with you 🙂 Or you could look into volunteering opportunities at your uni or get involved in becoming a student ambassador.

Keep taking it day by day, you've got this! I'm sure you'll make some great friendships soon. Good luck with the rest of your university journey.

Becky

Hello,

I’m currently a first year student, and I’m struggling with socialising, I’ve tried to put myself out there as much as I can but I can’t make meaningful friendships. Other individuals I am acquainted with are literally making new friends everyday whilst I struggle, I’m not sure what to do. Any tips for socialising and being more extroverted

Hi!
While it may seem like everyone else is making great friends all the time, they are also only making surface level friendships. It takes time to make meaningful friendships so don't be too hard on yourself. My advice would be to get involved with activities that reflect your interests and the kind of friends you are looking for. For example, if you are someone who loves to go on nights out, join a society that has many nights out planned. Or if you like to stay in join a society that hots sober socials (generally course centred societies hold many of these).
I hope this helps! Faye

Thanks for your advice
It seems that it’s just not improved for me since I made this post, idk why

Hello,
I’m currently a first year student, and I’m struggling with socialising, I’ve tried to put myself out there as much as I can but I can’t make meaningful friendships. Other individuals I am acquainted with are literally making new friends everyday whilst I struggle, I’m not sure what to do. Any tips for socialising and being more extroverted