How do I meet new people?

Hi! I'm a 1st year student at uni (18 y/o girl) and it's been a struggle to make friends - I have like 2 here and they're great, but I am very extroverted and it honestly gets me really down that I don't have more people to hang out with.

I've tried joining a bunch of different societies (which is fun! but I haven't made any new friends) and going to random student union socials but to no avail. The thing is that I am not a drinker and I'm only 18 - it seems like everyone I meet is either older and hence doesn't see me as friend material because I'm younger, or is mostly interested in club life (which I'm not into).

I really like the idea of 'third places', but it's hard to find something like that in London where people my age will hang out and actually be open to interacting with someone they don't already know.

Hard not to feel like I'm smoked socially, as I've heard that socialising in general is particularly hard at my uni (UCL) and that socialising at work is also limited in the UK. Any advice is super appreciated!!

Original post by starcat898

Hi! I'm a 1st year student at uni (18 y/o girl) and it's been a struggle to make friends - I have like 2 here and they're great, but I am very extroverted and it honestly gets me really down that I don't have more people to hang out with.

I've tried joining a bunch of different societies (which is fun! but I haven't made any new friends) and going to random student union socials but to no avail. The thing is that I am not a drinker and I'm only 18 - it seems like everyone I meet is either older and hence doesn't see me as friend material because I'm younger, or is mostly interested in club life (which I'm not into).

I really like the idea of 'third places', but it's hard to find something like that in London where people my age will hang out and actually be open to interacting with someone they don't already know.

Hard not to feel like I'm smoked socially, as I've heard that socialising in general is particularly hard at my uni (UCL) and that socialising at work is also limited in the UK. Any advice is super appreciated!!

Hey,

I’m sorry you’re feeling like this, I definitely remember how hard it can be in first year ☹️ it’s great you’ve given loads of different societies a go though! I’d say stick it out with the societies, some friendships will form over time! Is there any non-alcohol events you could join?

Maybe try making some friends on your course - I feel like these were the best and longest lasting friendships I made in undergrad personally! Try start conversations with people in seminars / during group work? Or you could maybe even put a message in your course chat asking if anyone wants to meet as a study group or something?

I really hope things improve for you and best of luck with everything!! :smile:

Natalie

Reply 2

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

16

Original post by starcat898

Hi! I'm a 1st year student at uni (18 y/o girl) and it's been a struggle to make friends - I have like 2 here and they're great, but I am very extroverted and it honestly gets me really down that I don't have more people to hang out with.

I've tried joining a bunch of different societies (which is fun! but I haven't made any new friends) and going to random student union socials but to no avail. The thing is that I am not a drinker and I'm only 18 - it seems like everyone I meet is either older and hence doesn't see me as friend material because I'm younger, or is mostly interested in club life (which I'm not into).

I really like the idea of 'third places', but it's hard to find something like that in London where people my age will hang out and actually be open to interacting with someone they don't already know.

Hard not to feel like I'm smoked socially, as I've heard that socialising in general is particularly hard at my uni (UCL) and that socialising at work is also limited in the UK. Any advice is super appreciated!!

@starcat898

It sounds like from the different societies you've attended, you may have got to know some people already. Perhaps, it's just changing those contacts into friendships by inviting people to go for coffee, to go for breakfast or brunch or even just inviting a few people to restaurant for dinner.

I don't think not drinking or your age needs to be a factor in terms of friendships, but it's helpful to have a starting point for the basis of the friendship e.g. you're on the same course, live in the same block, have the same hobby etc...

Friendships can be difficult anywhere and I think they can be very difficult in a big city like London, but I think if you're pro-active in inviting people to hang out, whether that's the park, a cool art exhibition or at a trendy coffee shop, then I think bit by bit you'll be able to build more friendships.

All the best,

Oluwatosin – 3rd year student – University of Huddersfield

Reply 3

Fadinga

7

Look at people in your course, try and meet with them to do work. That's how I met my best friend at Uni. We were working together in the library on an assignment, and started helping each other. This way we got to know each other because we chatted at the same time.

Original post by starcat898

Hi! I'm a 1st year student at uni (18 y/o girl) and it's been a struggle to make friends - I have like 2 here and they're great, but I am very extroverted and it honestly gets me really down that I don't have more people to hang out with.

I've tried joining a bunch of different societies (which is fun! but I haven't made any new friends) and going to random student union socials but to no avail. The thing is that I am not a drinker and I'm only 18 - it seems like everyone I meet is either older and hence doesn't see me as friend material because I'm younger, or is mostly interested in club life (which I'm not into).

I really like the idea of 'third places', but it's hard to find something like that in London where people my age will hang out and actually be open to interacting with someone they don't already know.

Hard not to feel like I'm smoked socially, as I've heard that socialising in general is particularly hard at my uni (UCL) and that socialising at work is also limited in the UK. Any advice is super appreciated!!

Hi @starcat898 ,

I'm sorry to hear you have been struggling a bit making friends, I was like this too in my first year. It can definitely take a while to make friends at uni and it can be hard when it feels like everyone else has made lots of friends, although social media isn't always real and it helped me to remember this when it looked like everyone else was having a lot more fun with their friends than me.

It's good that you have been enjoying going to different societies, and I would also say to stick it out! Sometimes it takes longer to get to know people, especially if some people are more introverted. It may be worth looking at other societies in second year too and see if there are any others you like the look of :smile:

I think the best way of making friends is on your course. Maybe try asking if people want to go for a coffee after a lecture, or go to the library together if you have an assignment due soon. It can be hard to make the first move asking people but they may be thinking the same thing too you never know!

I know lots of people who don't enjoy drinking and going out and there are still loads of fun thing you can do without this, although it does sometimes feel difficult. Maybe try joining a society where they don't have drinking socials as this may be a way to meet people who feel the same as you. The trick is definitely to put yourself out there, even if it feels scary at first!

I hope some of this helps ,

Lucy -SHU student ambassador.

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