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Do I tell my girlfriend that I kissed another girl?

Two nights ago I went out and got absolutely hammered.

I ended up in a club with a group of people I don t know and kissed one of them.

I love my girlfriend to bits. She is everything to me. We have been together for nearly 4 years and now we live together. I just can t imagine ever being without her.

I absolutely hate myself for doing this. Since I don t really know who I was with, it s unlikely that my girlfriend would find out about this from anyone else, but obviously I am racked with guilt.

It will never happen again but do people think it s better to tell her and risk the relationship either ending or suffering as a result or just live with the guilt?

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

As much as I would want my gf to tell me, if it was only a kiss and was really a one off then I wouldn't say anything, but that doesn't make you any less of a dick and it will haunt you in a long term relationship

Reply 2

The Juan

Original post by Anonymous

Two nights ago I went out and got absolutely hammered.

I ended up in a club with a group of people I don t know and kissed one of them.

I love my girlfriend to bits. She is everything to me. We have been together for nearly 4 years and now we live together. I just can t imagine ever being without her.

I absolutely hate myself for doing this. Since I don t really know who I was with, it s unlikely that my girlfriend would find out about this from anyone else, but obviously I am racked with guilt.

It will never happen again but do people think it s better to tell her and risk the relationship either ending or suffering as a result or just live with the guilt?

No you should not tell her, it is for the best. What she doesn't know won't hurt her right. Plus it was not your fault, you were under the influence of alcohol and were took advantage of, you were the victim.

Reply 3

Afghan Warrior

13

Tell her. Don't keep things like this away from her, even if she won't ever find out on her own. Be honest and tell her

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Reply 4

bittr n swt

3

I would tell her as someone you know may have seen it and could tell her.

Reply 5

shawn_o1

21

You should apologise for being drunk, nothing more, nothing less

Reply 6

SnoochToTheBooch

17

Absolutely not, there's nothing to be gained for anyone by doing this.

Reply 7

jaffacake111

9

You say you won't do it again but if you get "hammered" again - as you are claiming was the reason - how are you going to plan to not?

As much as you not wanting to tell her because it would hurt her I wouldn't take my chances on her not finding out either - and if you were as drunk as you claim how do you know it was a one off kiss and nothing else?

From your perspective the guilt will always be there too unless (and maybe even if) you tell her. From her perspective if you tell her you're going to create trust issues even though you would be acting truthfully towards her.

You really have got yourself in a sticky position haven't you?

You know her best , not us. Good luck :smile:

Reply 8

Viridiana

12

I don't know. Although I haven't cheated or anything, I'm in a similar position: 3 years with the same girl, love her so much you can't imagine, and wouldn't want to lose her. So I'll try to imagine myself in your shoes. Maybe tell her that you got drunk, don't remember what exactly happened, but you've heard rumors about what you might have done? And whatever it was, you're sorry and you'd never act as an idiot while sober. However, this solution can turn against you as telling this story might imply you did not less, but more than share a kiss with some girl... So I don't know,really. I don't know your girlfriend. Mine might probably forgive me as she knows I turn into a halfwit after some whiskey, I mean this Friday night I broke up with her like 10 times lol and we still loved each other in the morning. So I guess you need to analyze how she is - how jealous? Does she get angry when you text other girls or look at them? If so, probably better not say anything. Is she the kind of girl that wouldn't mind a threesome or has a history of mild cheating on her previous bfs? Then she might understand you - I don't know her though...

Reply 9

bluemax

16

She deserves to know.

Reply 10

rosebud114

9

Seriously tell her. Even though this isn't huge and the guilt may disappear over time, you might learn how to keep bigger things away from heR. You will be digging your self a ditch my friend. Honestly just tell her, she will most likely understand. You wouldn't throw four years away over something as miniature as that, would you?

Reply 11

Mimsycrafts

11

You should tell her, you have a solid relationship and while you may need to do some serious grovelling a solid relationship can get through this

Reply 12

Aph

22

Original post by SnoochToTheBooch

Absolutely not, there's nothing to be gained for anyone by doing this.

That's the point though the guy is clearly feeling really guilty and telling would prove how honest he is :smile:

Reply 13

FasterThanFTL

1

No. You did nothing wrong. You didn't commit a crime, you didn't do anything illegal. I don't see what all the fuss is about. A man can never be satisfied by just a single woman (no woman is that good), you're always free to do whatever you want with whoever you want, at any time, no matter who you're with. Unless you are married. Anything goes. Just have fun man, make the most of it.

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Reply 14

_Fergo

19

Original post by FasterThanFTL

No. You did nothing wrong. You didn't commit a crime, you didn't do anything illegal. I don't see what all the fuss is about. A man can never be satisfied by just a single woman (no woman is that good), you're always free to do whatever you want with whoever you want, at any time, no matter who you're with. Unless you are married. Anything goes. Just have fun man, make the most of it.

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Are you actually serious?

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Reply 15

SnoochToTheBooch

17

Original post by Aph

That's the point though the guy is clearly feeling really guilty and telling would prove how honest he is :smile:

How will she feel though? Does clearing his own guilty conscience outweigh her upsettedness? I reckon the guilt is his punishment.

Reply 16

Aph

22

Original post by SnoochToTheBooch

How will she feel though? Does clearing his own guilty conscience outweigh her upsettedness? I reckon the guilt is his punishment.

Maybe, but he's going to tell anyway, the guilt will build so it's better to tell now then years down the line. Plus telling makes him less likely to lie in the future. So honesty is definately the best policy here.

Reply 17

jf1994

15

Original post by The Juan

were took advantage of, you were the victim.

How did you get that from 'I kissed one of them'?

Reply 18

dead101

11

I don't think you should. It was a drunken kiss which you sorely regret. If you'd slept with someone or anything more than a kiss then you should tell her but 4 years isn't worth ruining over 1 drunken kiss imo. Only if she's never going to find out. If there's a chance she'll get told it has to come from you.
You ought to think about your drinking habits though, this could happen again and she doesn't deservev it.

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Reply 19

kka25

18

Original post by Anonymous

Two nights ago I went out and got absolutely hammered.

I ended up in a club with a group of people I don t know and kissed one of them.

I love my girlfriend to bits. She is everything to me. We have been together for nearly 4 years and now we live together. I just can t imagine ever being without her.

I absolutely hate myself for doing this. Since I don t really know who I was with, it s unlikely that my girlfriend would find out about this from anyone else, but obviously I am racked with guilt.

It will never happen again but do people think it s better to tell her and risk the relationship either ending or suffering as a result or just live with the guilt?

How do you know if it's actually a woman? Or even a person! :eek:

You'd better get your facts straight before making someone at home upset!

Do I tell my girlfriend that I kissed another girl?

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