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How to get on well with boyfriend's friends (and new neighbours)?

So coincidentally we've moved into the same block of flats as a couple who are both my boyfriend's friends, and we're living directly above them on the next floor.
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My bf told me that while the girl was his friend, she was very bitchy, dramatic and bad-tempered, and that maybe we wouldn't be close friends, but that it was ok. It was great at first; they welcomed us and we'd spend time at each others' flats weekly and she was nice to my face.

However, I then found out that she'd been saying stuff about my boyfriend to me behind my back like I was shy and that she was scared of asking me stuff. (even though she asked me my salary and my religion to my face :s) I am shy but I try my best and I felt like I'd made a lot of effort. She was also demanding to know if I was jealous, who of, etc.

She appears to be very noise-sensitive. She'd made a comment before about not wearing heels (before we moved) because of the floors. I admit that the very first day, I forgot and I wore heels for literally 5 seconds before I took them off (not at an early or late hour) the next time I saw them, she pulled me up on it.

We really don't make much noise here. I literally walk around this floor like a flipping ice-skater, we never have parties, loud music, etc. and we never make tons of noise at unreasonable hours. We go out of our way to be quiet for them.

They had a party (which we weren't invited to) and there was loud music and people talking until 1am. However, one night at around 9pm, me and my boyfriend were laughing quite loudly, and she started banging on the wall.

However, this is the thing that got me. I have never worn heels once apart from the first day by accident. My friend recently came and didn't realise the walls were so thin. She walked around on the floor in heels for literally under 2 minutes. Then I realised and asked her to take them off. She took them off and then after we received a text from the girl complaining about it. I was furious. My boyfriend and friend even said she was over-reacting. We go out of our way to be quiet and she flips at 2 minutes of shoes.

Another thing I've noticed is that she always needs to borrow or use something. She has texted us on quite a few occasions asking for food items because she can't be bothered going to the shop to get it. Just recently, she asked if we had any milk. It was a bottle i'd just bought, and we said yes, I assumed she would use what she needed and bring it back up. But no she kept nearly a full bottle. She always gets cigs off my boyfriend too but I never see her doing stuff in return.

She also sent us a text asking us another thing about noise when we weren't even in the flat.

My boyfriend once told her 'no' and she said 'oh great I'll have to go out and buy it now'. I've been keeping this inside for weeks because it's my boyfriend's mate and so I was scared of telling him. But he told me I need to tell him stuff like that and if I'm angry then I should just say.

He told me that he agrees with me about this girl, and that I have the right to say no to her. The thing is, since it's his friends and we're living here, we have to get on. But I am fed up with her petty complaints and always needing stuff. I will always be civil to her, but she's making me a bit miserable sometimes. We've stopped going to each others' flats really.

I've told my boyfriend that i'll forget it all and that we should have them over for dinner. I should be able to stand up for myself, and I know it annoys my boyfriend that I don't.

Is this girl being out of order or is it me over-reacting? What should I say/do? Thanks in advance.

Reply 1

scotttb

Original post by Anonymous

However, I then found out that she'd been saying stuff about my boyfriend to me behind my back l

How can she say bad stuff TO you behind your back?

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

Oops sorry lol I meant she had been saying stuff about me to my boyfriend

Reply 3

tearteto

why is your boyfriend friends with someone like her. She just sounds like an extremely unpleasant person.

Reply 4

Anonymous #1

He was annoyed with her for this stuff too, but he recognises the nice side in her, and she's also dating his best friend. He was friends with her before they were even dating though apparently. But I mean when we're all together she seems pleasant enough and she gave me some compliments, and she's invited us once or twice. So yeah in that way she's been nice.

Reply 5

pinkbullets

If you really want to try and get on with her then you should try and spend some time with her on your own. Ask her if she fancies going shopping or something. If you become friends with her she'll probably chill out a bit about the noise thing.

But don't feel that you have to be friends with her just because your boyfriend is.

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

That has happened a couple of times, and she's nice enough really, no issues in person. But yeah you're right, although it's important for me to get on with them as they're his friends. But yeah as I said I've told him we should invite them over this weekend, so will see how it goes. We also invited them for the new year.