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moving flats and new people that i hate

for 3 years i lived with my friends in a flat. now some are leaving, and me and a few others are moving into a place with three new people. all of my friends are afab people that i have known for years. it takes me a really long time to get used to people, like one of their boyfriends it took me a year to not hate him. i really dislike men and do not trust them at all. i do not know how i am gonna cope with the kitchen not being mine, and not being comfortable walking in my own space. any advice for this, it is too late to change flats now, i have to live with this and i feel like its not gonna be good

Reply 1

University of Huddersfield

Official Rep

@gg0068281

So are your friends female and the new people that you will be living with male?

Do your other friends know the new people well?

Did you live in student halls during first year? How did that go?

It's always difficult living with new people. It is easier to live with friends, but the new people might have some concerns about living with a group of friends who know each other really well. They too might be nervous about what the house dynamic might be like.

It might be an idea to try and ease the awkwardness by eating dinner together. You could arrange to do this soon after moving in. A few people could cook, others could do the washing up and everyone could put a bit of money in. Eating together might help to put everyone at ease. You could also talk about things that you might feel worried about, so that you can begin to address some concerns, but it could be a space for everyone to share any concerns they may have and to sort things out for the house e.g. the cleaning rota.

I don't know what has happened in the past that has made it difficult for you to trust men, but it might an idea to seek out help with this. It's an issue that is likely to keep coming up so you could keep experiencing the same anxiety and stress. It might be an idea to look at counselling options so that you can begin to work through this.

All the best!

Oluwatosin – 2nd year student – University of Huddersfield