Older Guy In Office Flirts With Me :(

I'm 21 and in my current temp job till the end of May. I really enjoy the workplace though I am the youngest person there by about a decade, and I get on well with most people. However there is an older guy from the head office in London who comes in about once every month to oversee some stuff our departments doing (over Easter he was coming in every day to do some work ) and every time he sees me he flirts with me. This has been going on since October when I started and makes me very uncomfortable. He's 37 btw though keeps using slang like "bruv" and "safe" around the office and trying to sound cool and young and does stuff like walk around with sunglasses and leather jackets on.

I have to work with him alone a lot and he hasnt been physically grabby or anything but he flirts with me obviously (I know he has a gf who just had their baby too because I've heard others in the office mention it). He's only 5"7ish and skinny so not that intimidating but it does annoy me. He keeps watching me whenever I am around, coming up and trying to chat to me even if Im at the water cooler, and giggling like a 5 yr old and saying "Dont be shy" and "are you nervous? taking your time" when I am doing stuff like sign my name on important docs.

Another time I was carrying a big stack of A4 paper out of the meeting room and he winked and me and said "Careful, you'll strain that delicate little figure!". And once I walked into the room when he and another guy I know were there and he told the guy to "Give the report to Stunning" and made a head gesture for the guy to to give them to me. I was shocked so took the report and said thanks and then walked out (was meant to go anyway but didn't say goodbye) but after that he didn't talk to me and kept complimenting other girls in the office in front of me for the next 2 weeks he was in, was I supposed to say thank you?! I'm not even that good looking ffs (I'm about 5"1 and look like Nina Dobrev if anyone knows who she is?)..

I only have to see him about 3 or 4 more times till I leave (I think) but I am not looking forward to it at all. He is quite a higher up and I need a good report from him to my boss but obv I dont want him to continue esp. if he has a gf and baby! Having said that I dont have the time to report sexual harassment either.. Should I have a word with him or be nasty to him (tried being cold but it just seems to encourage him to try harder) or what? :frown:

Reply 1

Ed2015

3

I think you should continue to be cold with him and slightly blunt, but at the end of the day his behaviour is not acceptable and so if you do not feel comfortable at work, you should not have to put up with it, report him!

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Ed2015

I think you should continue to be cold with him and slightly blunt, but at the end of the day his behaviour is not acceptable and so if you do not feel comfortable at work, you should not have to put up with it, report him!

Thanks. I'm not sure if Id be taken seriously though, everyone knows he's given me a lot of work from their office to do as well as my "normal" work and he's also usually very quiet/serious to everyone else. In fact he's often like that to me in front of others. Its just when we're relatively "alone" he starts teasing me and stuff.

What I have mentioned is the main stuff but it does annoy me.

Reply 3

Ed2015

3

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks. I'm not sure if Id be taken seriously though, everyone knows he's given me a lot of work from their office to do as well as my "normal" work and he's also usually very quiet/serious to everyone else. In fact he's often like that to me in front of others. Its just when we're relatively "alone" he starts teasing me and stuff.

What I have mentioned is the main stuff but it does annoy me.

It's worth a shot, or maybe you could casually mention it to a colleague who is also a friend instead of making a formal complaint? If its just when you are alone with him then try at all costs to stay out of his way or make sure someone else is there when you have to get work. At the end of the day you should be happy in your workplace so if it is an issue definitely tell someone, it will be a big relief to get it off your chest.

Reply 4

Awesome Genius

2

When you say he flirts with you...what do you mean exactly?

Theres a a difference between banter and sexual harassment.

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Its in the OP..

Reply 6

Awesome Genius

2

So nothing physical, he hasn't asked you out, he hasn't made any explicit or sexual comments, he compliments you AND all the other girls in the office and the worst thing he has done is that he called you 'stunning' once and is giggling around you?

how on earth is that sexual harassment?

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

^strong inability to read

Reply 8

Twinpeaks

18

Ergh, cringe.

So cringey it makes my toes curl up. But tbh it's nothing more than that, it's not threatening or sexual. Just grin and bare it, be polite, you've only got to see him a few times, surely it can't be that hard?

Unfortunately you have to deal with mild unpleasantness in the workplace sometimes, you can't report every little thing.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Twinpeaks

Ergh, cringe.

So cringey it makes my toes curl up. But tbh it's nothing more than that, it's not threatening or sexual. Just grin and bare it, be polite, you've only got to see him a few times, surely it can't be that hard?

Unfortunately you have to deal with mild unpleasantness in the workplace sometimes, you can't report every little thing.

thanks

Yeah I thought a few people in the thread might suggest reporting it or something but as stated in the OP I dont have the time, and highly doubt hes gonna ask me out or something. Hes a bit socially awkward too. It is really cringe though and I dont look forward to the Fridays when he comes in :frown:

Don't you reckon I should at least be stand offish or something (without being too rude?) Though I have tried that before and he started almost baby-talking me (he always talks really really softly to me when we're alone though he "barks" at everyone else) and saying "Don't be shy, is someone having a bad day?" :puke:

Being polite might encourage him.. I don't even know why hes doing this. He has a gf and kid ffs.

Reply 10

dancehead

9

I understand you may be feeling you don;t like this guy but I'm sure he does not realise that it bothers you. You won't be the first to be asked out and if he does - just reject him. There is certainly nothing to report here.

Reply 11

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by dancehead

I understand you may be feeling you don;t like this guy but I'm sure he does not realise that it bothers you. You won't be the first to be asked out and if he does - just reject him. There is certainly nothing to report here.

Said in the OP I wasnt reporting it, and above that I dont think hes gonna ask me out.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Forgot to mention he also finds excuses to be where I am. Even if I'm talking to my boss he'll run in the room and be like "I need some paper from here." I thought Asian guys were meant to be loyal to their families :s-smilie:

Reply 13

Anonymous #1

OP

bump

Reply 14

YeImAStudent

You mention his height and that you're not afraid of him. Are you saying this because you're thinking ahead and that he might do more than make simple comments? Is it the thought of him taking it further, by grabbing you for example? Or is it just that you find the comments annoying, plain and simple?..

Reply 15

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by YeImAStudent

You mention his height and that you're not afraid of him. Are you saying this because you're thinking ahead and that he might do more than make simple comments? Is it the thought of him taking it further, by grabbing you for example? Or is it just that you find the comments annoying, plain and simple?..

thanks

I just find it annoying tbh. I really doubt he'd grab me or something, would be very out of character. But even the verbal stuff rustles my jimmies

Reply 16

YeImAStudent

Original post by Anonymous

thanks

I just find it annoying tbh. I really doubt he'd grab me or something, would be very out of character. But even the verbal stuff rustles my jimmies

Ok, if you're feeling uncomfortable with it, there are two ways to go in my opinion. Either say it directly to him, or approach a collegue (preferible someone that knows him). If you report him, it'll be like extinguishing a candle with a fire hose. That should be your last option.

Reply 17

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by YeImAStudent

Ok, if you're feeling uncomfortable with it, there are two ways to go in my opinion. Either say it directly to him, or approach a collegue (preferible someone that knows him). If you report him, it'll be like extinguishing a candle with a fire hose. That should be your last option.

How would you say it directly to him? The latter might be better but not many people from my department (save my boss who might think I have a problem b/c he does give me a ton of extra work too) know him :s-smilie:

Reply 18

Black Cat

20

Stick it out for a little longer and you'll be gone.