Join TSR now for chat about life, relationships, fashion and more…Sign up now

Advice is seriously needed, one complicated situation going on over here Watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    So I'm in a pretty damn complicated situation. I'll try to condense so it's as short as possible, here goes nothing:

    So there's this girl on my floor at uni accommodation (sounding bad already I know) who I've liked for absolutely ages, as in fell for her in about a month of arriving to uni. However there was the issue of a boyfriend back then. Not sure why but I have a serious issue with moving on from people and when I fall for someone I tend to fall hard so here we are 7-8 months later and I still really like her. We're really good mates and are always having a laugh with each other. I found out this week that she is no longer with her boyfriend, he broke up with her about 2 weeks ago, but couldn't properly ask her about it as we were surrounded by mates in a public place so I didn't want to make her burst into tears. From the brief conversation about it she seemed pretty upset though. It was a pretty long relationship 1-2 years.

    So the answer should be simple right? Talk to her about it when more suitable to obviously check she's alright and comfort her whilst trying to figure out how upset she is about it all, then when the time is right and I feel she is ready, make a move. Only thing is we have 3/4 weeks of uni left and so I'm not sure if I can wait. On one hand I really don't want to be too hasty with this but seeing as these weeks will include exams and revision there will be limited chances to see her. Equally if I don't make a move and she comes back in September with another boyfriend I'll hate myself for doing nothing.

    Oh and also I'm living in the same house as her next year. Thought I should mention that little detail...

    Really wasn't that short but oh well, It's a pretty nuts situation. Guyz plz any thoughts? Should I wait or nah?
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I'd talk to her now cos if she rejects you, at least you'll have the summer apart to cool off and get over any awkwardness that'll come with you two living together next year. But of course that means she might not be ready for anything else since its only been a few weeks since her break up.

    Living with her next year sounds like a bad idea anyway if you like her and she doesnt like you.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by darkred)
    Living with her next year sounds like a bad idea anyway if you like her and she doesnt like you.
    Cheers for the advice, seems reasonable! To clarify It's not just me and her next year. We're in a house many others. But yeah we had agreed on houses before I liked her to this extent, I know ideally we wouldn't be in the same house
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Cheers for the advice, seems reasonable! To clarify It's not just me and her next year. We're in a house many others. But yeah we had agreed on houses before I liked her to this extent, I know ideally we wouldn't be in the same house
    Even if it's not just you two, itll make things awkward with everyone around you in the house. Maybe wait for exams to be over and then tell her you like her.
    Offline

    3
    ReputationRep:
    I think in this situation you need to think about her and not yourself which is a very hard thing to do.

    If she's distraught and you run up in there like 'hey i like you' and the timing is off then she may just hate you forever...even if she would have considered you..if you get the timing wrong that is it for you.

    She can't just get a boyfriend just like that..

    Wait a while..and if you hear she is dating/looking to date then tell her how you feel then. Nothing wrong with a bit of friendly competition.

    But definitely don't do it too soon, two weeks ago? She's fresh out of a 1-2 year relationship, give her time to clear her thoughts. I'd say even 3 months after she breaks up with someone is 'fresh' but it's more acceptable than telling her only a few weeks after.

    Good Luck!
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by MaseratiJay)
    If she's distraught and you run up in there like 'hey i like you' and the timing is off then she may just hate you forever...even if she would have considered you..if you get the timing wrong that is it for you.

    She can't just get a boyfriend just like that..
    To be fair when I say make a move I wouldn't be expecting a relationship, it would be more just to make my feelings for her known so she can consider things over the break. And we're too good mates for her to hate me forever, there's probably a good chance I could ruin my chances with her by rushing it though.

    I guess I'm just worried she may find someone back home over the holidays and I'll have missed an opportunity, albeit one which is far from being ideal.

    I do appreciate quite how soon this is though, hence all this trepidation. Thanks for the advice mate, definitely some points there I'll have to consider.
 
 
 
Write a reply… Reply
Submit reply
Updated: May 11, 2015
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Poll
How are you feeling about your A-level results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Quick reply
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.