Does being young + in a serrious relationship hold you back?
do you think being young (late teens/early 20s) and in a committed relationship slows you down in other areas of your life?
I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend. What's more, he's my best friend in the world. However, I've been thinking a lot recently about the structure of my life. The relationship is the centre of my life - he is, quite literally, my everything. I feel like all I need is him. I neglect other areas of my life (social life, studying, work, travel) to be with him. I want to study abroad in the future for a year, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I want to get a job which involves a lot of travel, but again, I don't know if I can bare to leave him behind.
while he doesn't physically hold me back from anything, I feel emotionally tied to him. I am20 years old only. What do you think?
I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend. What's more, he's my best friend in the world. However, I've been thinking a lot recently about the structure of my life. The relationship is the centre of my life - he is, quite literally, my everything. I feel like all I need is him. I neglect other areas of my life (social life, studying, work, travel) to be with him. I want to study abroad in the future for a year, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I want to get a job which involves a lot of travel, but again, I don't know if I can bare to leave him behind.
while he doesn't physically hold me back from anything, I feel emotionally tied to him. I am20 years old only. What do you think?
I m 20 and in a very serious relationship and live with my partner, never holds me back from anything. However, i dont really neglect anything like studying and travelling as we both do it together.
I think that it's a mistake, but that's purely because my parents got married in their early 20's and whilst they're still happily married, I can't help but feel their life must be unfulfilling.
Personally I would say that settling down before mid to late 20s is a bad idea, tons of fish in the ocean
Personally I would say that settling down before mid to late 20s is a bad idea, tons of fish in the ocean
A relationship holds you back as much as you let it. It's all about getting the right balance which I understand is easier said than done. Why can't you do these things together? I'm 19 and my boyfriend is 23, he's my world, my best friend but we don't hold each other back. We sort of first bonded over our mutual love for travelling, we've been to Portugal, the Czech Republic, the Channel Islnds, Greece and Germany in the last 7 months so there's not really any excuse, if you want something, go for it! You have to weigh up the pros and the cons and assess whether this committed relationship is right for you at this point in your life and if not, can you make it so that it is or is it best for you to end it?
Ouch. Young... early twenties... guess I just missed that train! 
Sorry, can't be much help there then. What I can tell you, is that your relationship and commitment to this guy are really going to be tested with you studying abroad. Long distance can kill a good relationship pretty fast if you don't put in the work to prevent that. And even then, no guarantees. Lasting relationships involve an awful lot of patience, commitment, compromising, trust, etc. In the end, you might even find yourself facing a very difficult choice if it comes down to it. I've been on the same end as your boyfriend and kinda on your end too. Tough really.
Sorry, can't be much help there then. What I can tell you, is that your relationship and commitment to this guy are really going to be tested with you studying abroad. Long distance can kill a good relationship pretty fast if you don't put in the work to prevent that. And even then, no guarantees. Lasting relationships involve an awful lot of patience, commitment, compromising, trust, etc. In the end, you might even find yourself facing a very difficult choice if it comes down to it. I've been on the same end as your boyfriend and kinda on your end too. Tough really.
Original post by Anonymous
do you think being young (late teens/early 20s) and in a committed relationship slows you down in other areas of your life?
I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend. What's more, he's my best friend in the world. However, I've been thinking a lot recently about the structure of my life. The relationship is the centre of my life - he is, quite literally, my everything. I feel like all I need is him. I neglect other areas of my life (social life, studying, work, travel) to be with him. I want to study abroad in the future for a year, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I want to get a job which involves a lot of travel, but again, I don't know if I can bare to leave him behind.
while he doesn't physically hold me back from anything, I feel emotionally tied to him. I am20 years old only. What do you think?
I am so deeply in love with my boyfriend. What's more, he's my best friend in the world. However, I've been thinking a lot recently about the structure of my life. The relationship is the centre of my life - he is, quite literally, my everything. I feel like all I need is him. I neglect other areas of my life (social life, studying, work, travel) to be with him. I want to study abroad in the future for a year, but I don't know if I can bring myself to do it. I want to get a job which involves a lot of travel, but again, I don't know if I can bare to leave him behind.
while he doesn't physically hold me back from anything, I feel emotionally tied to him. I am20 years old only. What do you think?
The answer to your title question - no
The answer to your experience - YES!!
No relationship should hold you back from progressing in other areas of your life. I think it silly and naïve to say things like "all I need is him." You can be deeply in love but still be your own person. I think that's what young people are missing - some don't know how to be alone. They don't know who they are alone. That's why many relationship advisors suggest that someone be comfortable and secure without being with someone first so that whomever they meet next enhances their life, adds to it, rather than BECOMES their life. Obviously leaving for abroad and worrying about not being able to leave him behind is completely normal and is something you need to think long and hard about. Good luck!
xxEntrepreneur running a business in no relationship
VS
Entrepreneur running a business with full focus on said business
go figure
VS
Entrepreneur running a business with full focus on said business
go figure
Entrepreneur running a business in relationship
VS
Entrepreneur running a business with full focus on said business
go figure
corrected
VS
Entrepreneur running a business with full focus on said business
go figure
corrected
I've been in a serious relationship since I was 17 and I can't say its ever held me back in terms of social wise or in terms of my education. I've never wanted to sleep about so only being with one guy never bothered me, I preferred it. As for uni, he is at college so we revise together and our course work has never been affected by the relationship. We live together so we help each other with course work if we are stuck as well.
Serious relationships while young aren't for everyone and they can be a distraction and detrimental to different parts of your life if you aren't ready for one yet or can't juggle things like a relationship and work at the same time.
Posted from TSR Mobile
Serious relationships while young aren't for everyone and they can be a distraction and detrimental to different parts of your life if you aren't ready for one yet or can't juggle things like a relationship and work at the same time.
Posted from TSR Mobile
I've lived abroad before and have plans to move abroad again later this year. I wouldn't do that if I were in a committed relationship with someone, because I don't think it's fair on them.
A couple of years ago I had plans to move to Canada for a year or two, but I let those go because I met a girl. Personally I don't think I'd do that again. When I'm older it might be a different story, but the older you get, the more difficult it will be to follow your dreams, whatever they may be. You're still young, and the likelihood is, it's now or never.
A couple of years ago I had plans to move to Canada for a year or two, but I let those go because I met a girl. Personally I don't think I'd do that again. When I'm older it might be a different story, but the older you get, the more difficult it will be to follow your dreams, whatever they may be. You're still young, and the likelihood is, it's now or never.
Definitely not. If anything he pushed me to do more.
We've both just graduated last year. I moved to London because he told me if I didn't take the job I would have been daft. He came down to London with me when I had the interview so I didn't have to travel alone (we made a wee holiday out of it). I then got the job and I'm living in London
Then in turn I persuaded him to go to an interview in Thurso (2 hours past Inverness in Scotland) which he then got. However he didn't want to go to it complaining that it was out in the middle of nowhere. Even though the job is perfect for his career. He would have talked himself out of going if I had persuaded him otherwise.
We're both young, myself 22, him turning 25 and been going out 3.5years. So to answer your question. It depends.
We've both just graduated last year. I moved to London because he told me if I didn't take the job I would have been daft. He came down to London with me when I had the interview so I didn't have to travel alone (we made a wee holiday out of it). I then got the job and I'm living in London
Then in turn I persuaded him to go to an interview in Thurso (2 hours past Inverness in Scotland) which he then got. However he didn't want to go to it complaining that it was out in the middle of nowhere. Even though the job is perfect for his career. He would have talked himself out of going if I had persuaded him otherwise.
We're both young, myself 22, him turning 25 and been going out 3.5years. So to answer your question. It depends.
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