Did this girl sexually assault me?
So, I was at a party recently to celebrate the end of my A levels and the start of preparing for university (I am not really a party person but I thought it might be of some interest). Anyway, I got talking to a girl and it was fun and good for happy for a while. And then she started coming onto me I believe that is the expression? She starting unzipping my trousers. I said 'no I do not want this!', she just laughed and ignored me. So, I said that I have a girlfriend (I don't have a girlfriend but I hoped that would make her stop) but that had no success either. I couldn't physically stop her or move her away (as then she would probably claim I assaulted her or something), so I just stayed there telling her to stop without success. It was horrible! 
I felt violated and helpless what can I do TSR?
I felt violated and helpless what can I do TSR? Scroll to see replies
Yes, that's sexual assault if she touched you sexually without your consent. Despite this, you can't do anything about it. People don't care if males are sexually assaulted because they think males can defend themselves, whereas if the roles were switched, you'd probably be in court by now (exaggeration).
Original post by vvlp
Yes, that's sexual assault if she touched you sexually without your consent. Despite this, you can't do anything about it. People don't care if males are sexually assaulted because they think males can defend themselves, whereas if the roles were switched, you'd probably be in court by now (exaggeration).
That is not fair! If I had defended myself I would be charged with assault!
Original post by Purplexed
That is not fair! If I had defended myself I would be charged with assault!
Exactly! It's not fair at all, but everything is the males fault in the eyes of society.
Wtf? You're a guy and you didn't want a BJ?
Posted from TSR Mobile
Posted from TSR Mobile
Original post by Purplexed
So, I was at a party recently to celebrate the end of my A levels and the start of preparing for university (I am not really a party person but I thought it might be of some interest). Anyway, I got talking to a girl and it was fun and good for happy for a while. And then she started coming onto me I believe that is the expression? She starting unzipping my trousers. I said 'no I do not want this!', she just laughed and ignored me. So, I said that I have a girlfriend (I don't have a girlfriend but I hoped that would make her stop) but that had no success either. I couldn't physically stop her or move her away (as then she would probably claim I assaulted her or something), so I just stayed there telling her to stop without success. It was horrible! I felt violated and helpless what can I do TSR?
I felt violated and helpless what can I do TSR? How ugly a girl needs to be in order for the guy to complain about a BJ given by her?
Original post by Purplexed
So, I was at a party recently to celebrate the end of my A levels and the start of preparing for university (I am not really a party person but I thought it might be of some interest). Anyway, I got talking to a girl and it was fun and good for happy for a while. And then she started coming onto me I believe that is the expression? She starting unzipping my trousers. I said 'no I do not want this!', she just laughed and ignored me. So, I said that I have a girlfriend (I don't have a girlfriend but I hoped that would make her stop) but that had no success either. I couldn't physically stop her or move her away (as then she would probably claim I assaulted her or something), so I just stayed there telling her to stop without success. It was horrible! I felt violated and helpless what can I do TSR?
I felt violated and helpless what can I do TSR? Wait, so she went the whole mile and gave you a blowjob with you just standing there, unable to push her away?
(edited 8 years ago)
This is the most ridiculous thing I've read all week. And I've been researching maddening conspiracy theories.
You are telling me you were not physically ABLE, to stop a girl committing a sex act on you without assaulting her.
As in you COULDN'T just walk away.
Utterly absurd. How far did she 'get'?
You are telling me you were not physically ABLE, to stop a girl committing a sex act on you without assaulting her.
As in you COULDN'T just walk away.
Utterly absurd. How far did she 'get'?
Original post by 0123456543210
How ugly a girl needs to be in order for the guy to complain about a BJ given by her?
But, srsly it is a sexual assault so you could complain to police, won't do much though.
Original post by the_second
This is the most ridiculous thing I've read all week. And I've been researching maddening conspiracy theories.
You are telling me you were not physically ABLE, to stop a girl committing a sex act on you without assaulting her.
As in you COULDN'T just walk away.
Utterly absurd. How far did she 'get'?
You are telling me you were not physically ABLE, to stop a girl committing a sex act on you without assaulting her.
As in you COULDN'T just walk away.
Utterly absurd. How far did she 'get'?
I know, it seems really odd. He could have just walked away...
Original post by EmmaOfNormandy
Wait, so she went the whole mile and gave you a blowjob with you just standing there, unable to push her away?
lmao the amount of lies ahahah
Original post by Purplexed
I couldn't physically stop her or move her away (as then she would probably claim I assaulted her or something), so I just stayed there telling her to stop without success.
You probably could though. I'd just leave it in this situation. Getting the law involved would be an overreaction.
I suspect this is a made up story posted in order to highlight a double standard. If so, I see your point. (inb4 that's what she said)
Original post by EmmaOfNormandy
Wait, so she went the whole mile and gave you a blowjob with you just standing there, unable to push her away?
If I had pushed her away or laid a hand on her. She would have claimed I assaulted her (the justice system is misandrist). You're victim blaming. If you had been sexually assaulted how would you like it if someone had said it was your fault.
Original post by 0123456543210
How ugly a girl needs to be in order for the guy to complain about a BJ given by her?
Not all guys always want sex!
Original post by Purplexed
If I had pushed her away or laid a hand on her. She would have claimed I assaulted her (the justice system is misandrist). You're victim blaming. If you had been sexually assaulted how would you like it if someone had said it was your fault.
So she actually gave you a blowjob?
Er no, you don't need to be violent, just push her head away and walk off. It's impossible for a girl to give a moving/walking guy a blowjob so. And the justice system isn't like that, if you pushed her away to stop her sexually assaulting you then you would be in the right, not her.
Original post by EmmaOfNormandy
Wait, so she went the whole mile and gave you a blowjob with you just standing there, unable to push her away?
Original post by the_second
This is the most ridiculous thing I've read all week. And I've been researching maddening conspiracy theories.
You are telling me you were not physically ABLE, to stop a girl committing a sex act on you without assaulting her.
As in you COULDN'T just walk away.
Utterly absurd. How far did she 'get'?
You are telling me you were not physically ABLE, to stop a girl committing a sex act on you without assaulting her.
As in you COULDN'T just walk away.
Utterly absurd. How far did she 'get'?
Original post by EmmaOfNormandy
I know, it seems really odd. He could have just walked away...
Would you be advocating that a girl should never fear sexual assault from a small man? There are psychological factors at play here, opie had fear of assault claims and was put in a difficult vulnerable position.
I assume that any girl who doesn't fight her rapist tooth and nail should just take it on the chin?
Original post by RollerBall
Would you be advocating that a girl should never fear sexual assault from a small man? There are psychological factors at play here, opie had fear of assault claims and was put in a difficult vulnerable position.
I assume that any girl who doesn't fight her rapist tooth and nail should just take it on the chin?
I assume that any girl who doesn't fight her rapist tooth and nail should just take it on the chin?
When did I advocate that? Pushing away someone's head who's trying to sexually assault you isn't assault. And if she's trying to give you a blowjob then you can very easily walk away.
Original post by EmmaOfNormandy
When did I advocate that? Pushing away someone's head who's trying to sexually assault you isn't assault. And if she's trying to give you a blowjob then you can very easily walk away.
"Could have just walked away"
"Not physically able to move her without assaulting her"
Sounds like a lot of victim blaming to me. He was scared and confused - one does not act rationally in these situations. You have misread his replies - just because it is not assault, does not mean he didn't think it could be interpreted that way should she try to push it.
This is akin to saying "Rape victims could have yelled, or shouted, or tried to shove him away". I think most could understand why they may have not acted like this. It's easy to say "if I was in a fight, I'd dodge left and hook right" but you have no idea until you are in that position what it would feel like.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by RollerBall
Would you be advocating that a girl should never fear sexual assault from a small man? There are psychological factors at play here, opie had fear of assault claims and was put in a difficult vulnerable position.
I assume that any girl who doesn't fight her rapist tooth and nail should just take it on the chin?
I assume that any girl who doesn't fight her rapist tooth and nail should just take it on the chin?
I think its pretty similar for men and women. There is a spectrum of 'no' from slight hesitancy to 'fighting tooth and nail'. In my opinion, fwiw, I think that in order to claim a criminal sexual assault you must give an extremely clear 'NO' that in no way could be misinterpreted. As in the OP I think his actions were confusing if he just stood there taking it, the girl could easily interpret that as guilty/uncomfortable consent which is still consent. However if the OP was like 'look, I do not want this, get the F*K off me!' or walked/jogged away that would have been a clear consent denying NO.
This grey area IMO is what is causing all the chaos. People need to take responsibility for their actions and realize there is such a thing as implied consent. Words and actions don't always match up with each other. If a guy or girl is involved in sexual activity then there IMO is always consent unless there is obvious action to the contrary.
I worry that we are heading to a situation, where 2 people could meet, go home together and partner B could add in phrases such as "haha this is naughty we shouldn't be doing this" or "ooohohh stop it we've only just met"; they then shag. The next day partner A is accused of SA/rape. In no way should this be a crime as the lack of real action or explicit "get off me NOW!" implies consent.
This isn't victim blaming this is about clarity of consent and acting reasonably and responsibly.
However I strongly suspect OP is trolling as an anti-feminist/MGTOW trying to get his frustrations about gender-reversal, 'misandry in court' out there as a made-up story.
I just hate all this B.S that we have at the moment. Both feminists and MRA are both as frustrating as each other. Instead of working together and bringing peace and unity to the two genders, we have two partisan groups who will do anything to defame the other and attack the other gender. It just doesn't help as both groups damage inter-gender dialogue as they are so desperate to prove their point.
I guess I have some sympathy with the men as they are portrayed as monsters and the main-stream seems to lap up some of the feminist crap too much.
(edited 8 years ago)
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