Muslim families are too controlling!! I hate it!

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interestedinlife
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Basically I live at home while studying at uni. I used to think living at home and going to uni was a "no brainer" and staying at home would obviously be good. However, I severely regret this decision and wished I can change my decisions at the time.

Muslim families are so strict! Its unbelievable! I have a curfew at 10pm, whilst all my uni friends stay out till like at least 12. My family is especially very religious and all sorts of freedom is clamped down upon. For example if I go out, i have to say EXACTLY where i am going and what I am going to do and who with....its very annoying! I am over 20 btw and I still have to do this.

I know there are many perks to live at home....e.g. financially the most obvious. But I would also like my independence as well. I can easily afford living by myself because I work quite a lot, but even that idea has been rebuffed by my parents.

Okay, the reason this is on the relationships thread is because I am a muslim and I have a girlfriend. Thats why I feel as if I have no freedom because I have to constantly sneak out to see her (whilst making sure no one see's me in the process). Its hell sometimes, trust me. I know as a muslim, having a girlfriend is completely haraam....plus dont get me onto the whole family honour thing within our community - my family are very religious. I feel as if I am losing faith tbh, this has been the case for a while even before my girlfriend. The fact that my family don't let me do what I want to do, makes it worse.

I always feel guilty having a girlfriend, it makes me think that I could easily lose my whole family over one thing. I dont want that.

Dont know what to do :/
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MrKmas508
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Come to dark side... We have Pringles. http://www.thestudentroom.co.uk/show...56455&page=213
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harry734
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(Original post by interestedinlife)
Basically I live at home while studying at uni. I used to think living at home and going to uni was a "no brainer" and staying at home would obviously be good. However, I severely regret this decision and wished I can change my decisions at the time.

Muslim families are so strict! Its unbelievable! I have a curfew at 10pm, whilst all my uni friends stay out till like at least 12. My family is especially very religious and all sorts of freedom is clamped down upon. For example if I go out, i have to say EXACTLY where i am going and what I am going to do and who with....its very annoying! I am over 20 btw and I still have to do this.

I know there are many perks to live at home....e.g. financially the most obvious. But I would also like my independence as well. I can easily afford living by myself because I work quite a lot, but even that idea has been rebuffed by my parents.

Okay, the reason this is on the relationships thread is because I am a muslim and I have a girlfriend. Thats why I feel as if I have no freedom because I have to constantly sneak out to see her (whilst making sure no one see's me in the process). Its hell sometimes, trust me. I know as a muslim, having a girlfriend is completely haraam....plus dont get me onto the whole family honour thing within our community - my family are very religious. I feel as if I am losing faith tbh, this has been the case for a while even before my girlfriend. The fact that my family don't let me do what I want to do, makes it worse.

I always feel guilty having a girlfriend, it makes me think that I could easily lose my whole family over one thing. I dont want that.

Dont know what to do :/
You're over 20? why can't you move out?
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vanillapod
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Firstly, your family is controlling. Not all 'Muslim families.'

Secondly, study/live your faith/religion independent of your family and culture. Worked wonders for me.
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aamirac
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(Original post by interestedinlife)
Basically I live at home while studying at uni. I used to think living at home and going to uni was a "no brainer" and staying at home would obviously be good. However, I severely regret this decision and wished I can change my decisions at the time.

Muslim families are so strict! Its unbelievable! I have a curfew at 10pm, whilst all my uni friends stay out till like at least 12. My family is especially very religious and all sorts of freedom is clamped down upon. For example if I go out, i have to say EXACTLY where i am going and what I am going to do and who with....its very annoying! I am over 20 btw and I still have to do this.

I know there are many perks to live at home....e.g. financially the most obvious. But I would also like my independence as well. I can easily afford living by myself because I work quite a lot, but even that idea has been rebuffed by my parents.

Okay, the reason this is on the relationships thread is because I am a muslim and I have a girlfriend. Thats why I feel as if I have no freedom because I have to constantly sneak out to see her (whilst making sure no one see's me in the process). Its hell sometimes, trust me. I know as a muslim, having a girlfriend is completely haraam....plus dont get me onto the whole family honour thing within our community - my family are very religious. I feel as if I am losing faith tbh, this has been the case for a while even before my girlfriend. The fact that my family don't let me do what I want to do, makes it worse.

I always feel guilty having a girlfriend, it makes me think that I could easily lose my whole family over one thing. I dont want that.

Dont know what to do :/
with the whole 20 questions thing like all parents can be like that (are you Asian by chance....)
I'm a muslim and I don't feel restricted at all, I'm allowed to go places and do the things I want to do (most of the time).
With the whole girlfriend thing...that is haraam, what are you doing?
Do you feel as though you could spend a future with her?
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william walker
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Tell you family that you have a girlfriends and bring her round to meet them?
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rclark814
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You live in a free country , you don’t need to follow the same ancient religion as your parents , think on your own two feet.
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Justbeingmyself
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I know that feel, they're so conservative. Almost everything is a sin to them and they care way too much about what the "community thinks".
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Justbeingmyself
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(Original post by rclark814)
You live in a free country , you don’t need to follow the same ancient religion as your parents , think on your own two feet.
Sounds easy but some families will literally disown you just for not believing in the same religion as them.
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Bio 7
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Hopefully in the last 4 years OP moved out and is living a decent life.
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Bushbbg
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Listen:

You live at home.
SAVE ALL YOUR MAINTENANCE LOAN FFS
Do not waste it on whatever, keep it. When you graduate, put it towards rent and leave.

You’re family will not change their entire moral compass, so either you live with it or you move out.
I bet in a few months they’ll ease up, and realise that you are an adult, and yes you may be a disappointment but I’d rather be a disappointment and happy than make them proud and hate my life.
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