Unpleasant end to a date

If you have been interested in him and he has otherwise been a nice and genteel guy, I suggest you talk about it with him - tell him how it made you feel and try and figure out why he thought it was an okay thing to do. Then you can make a more informed decision on whether or not to dump him.

So TSR, I'm officially put off an otherwise perfectly nice guy by what I thought was a really unpleasant gesture. But I'm wondering if it's just me finding a reason not to like him because, well, I'm a bit nervous of re-entering the dating scene and maybe I'm making excuses for myself. So I'd like your opinions!

Story: I've been chatting to a guy online for a while and we finally got around to going out. We went out for a nice lunch yesterday, talked about travel, video games etc. and he's kind of socially awkward (a bit), but I don't mind that. We spend a few hours chatting and getting to know each other. I'm attracted to him and building up this picture of a slightly shy guy who seems pretty into me but is being really gentle about it, which is nice as I've had an overly dramatic year and taking it slow sounds awesome. We get to the bus station afterwards, he kisses me goodbye (good kiss, all fine) then he reaches down while he's doing it, flips his coat open and randomly grinds a massive erection on me. (Through his jeans.) Then he goes off to catch his bus like it's all totally normal.

It ruined the mood for me and actually kind of freaked me out. I don't know if he thought it would be sexy or something? I don't know, am I weird for finding it weird? Straighten my head out for me please!

You're not weird for finding it weird. Learn to trust your instincts more.

Thanks, I should. It's a problem in general, I always assume I'm probably the one in the wrong if someone seems to be acting weird.

The thing is, he's a tiny bit socially awkward...but not that socially awkward. Not to the point where it was an impediment to conversation, or anything. He's had at least one long-term successful relationship in the past, he's a top performer in his sales-orientated job. It just doesn't fit that he could seem so socially competent then suddenly...that.



Thanks, I should. It's a problem in general, I always assume I'm probably the one in the wrong if someone seems to be acting weird.

He's a salesman. He sold you something you liked and then you opened the product and found it was faulty.

Moral of the story: don't do online dating.