Muslims boys -Would you marry this girl?
I'm a female user on TSR. I am 19 years old and Muslim. I have a bad past. I've had quite a few boyfriends and got a bad reputation from stupid rumours but I'm still a virgin (being a virgin is important to me, I wouldn't lose it before marriage).
Around one and a half years ago I was going through some tough family problems and my behaviour went out of control. I used to get high almost every day and I wanted attention from boys so I did stupid things. One of these things resulted in a naked picture of me going round and EVERYONE saw it, even people from different towns. It was the worst thing id ever been through, I started self-harming bc if it (I was being blackmailed by different guys). My parents found out and I realised that the only way I could get out of this situation was if I prayed to Allah and asked for forgiveness.
Since then I have changed my behaviour, I pray five times a day, fast regularly and stopped talking to most boys.
My dad always says that what I have done in the past will affect my future if i get married and it really worries and scares me. I wouldn't want to hide anything from my future husband bc it would cause problems so I feel obliged to tell them about my past.
So Muslim guys on here would you marry a girl with a bad past like mine. (Please be honest)
Around one and a half years ago I was going through some tough family problems and my behaviour went out of control. I used to get high almost every day and I wanted attention from boys so I did stupid things. One of these things resulted in a naked picture of me going round and EVERYONE saw it, even people from different towns. It was the worst thing id ever been through, I started self-harming bc if it (I was being blackmailed by different guys). My parents found out and I realised that the only way I could get out of this situation was if I prayed to Allah and asked for forgiveness.
Since then I have changed my behaviour, I pray five times a day, fast regularly and stopped talking to most boys.
My dad always says that what I have done in the past will affect my future if i get married and it really worries and scares me. I wouldn't want to hide anything from my future husband bc it would cause problems so I feel obliged to tell them about my past.
So Muslim guys on here would you marry a girl with a bad past like mine. (Please be honest)
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Well, the past is the past. As long as you tell your future husband about it and he doesn't find out from someone else(lots of crazy people that will do anything to break someone up), you should be fine. It seems like you're a completely changed person and all that matters is the person that you're right now. Keep your imam high, make dua often and In Sha Allah you'll find a husband that accepts your past.
Of course not, for multiple reasons. Foremost believing that praying 5 times to a 'god' will give you forgiveness.
Because of your past, you will probably have to accept someone with the same type of past, if not worse.And if anything is positive from this post, I would say atleast you have accepted what you have done is wrong, and as you tell your future husband, before marrying him.If you didnt tell him, then that in my opinion would be wrong,And I hope then that somebody else would tell him.
I'm sure that guy must have a past too or sin too or whatever yet Allah chose to forgive him. Who is he to forgive you? Listen, sister, as long as Allah has forgiven you you're safe. All you gotta do now is trust him. He shall grant you with a good hearted husband who won't judge you on something you regret doing. 
I think the best advice I've heard re: marriage is simply to be like the person you'd want to marry and you will marry who you deserve. You have changed your ways so inshaAllah you will be able to find someone similar to you. Maybe someone in the situation - a bad past but good present and inshaAllah good future.
It's easy for us to judge a person like yourself but you just keep faith in Allah and His message. Islam changed people who used to do the worst things and elevated them to the highest status - the sahabah weren't as great before accepting Islam but their faith and actions made them the best of people. Your actions are changing you too, and believe that Allah will take care of your affairs in this regard. So try not to worry about it.
It's easy for us to judge a person like yourself but you just keep faith in Allah and His message. Islam changed people who used to do the worst things and elevated them to the highest status - the sahabah weren't as great before accepting Islam but their faith and actions made them the best of people. Your actions are changing you too, and believe that Allah will take care of your affairs in this regard. So try not to worry about it.
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
Well, the past is the past. As long as you tell your future husband about it and he doesn't find out from someone else(lots of crazy people that will do anything to break someone up), you should be fine. It seems like you're a completely changed person and all that matters is the person that you're right now. Keep your imam high, make dua often and In Sha Allah you'll find a husband that accepts your past.
I know you!
But yeah I agree with what you said.
Religion makes things more complicated than necessary, why do people still choose to follow it?
So many people make mistakes, so don't feel bad about what you've done; you've asked Allah for his forgiveness and you sound that you genuinely regret what you did. At least a you're still a virgin, right.
In today's society, it's difficult to find a Muslim man who is a virgin. So don't think you're used goods or that you're no good. The guys that judge have probably done worse than you
In today's society, it's difficult to find a Muslim man who is a virgin. So don't think you're used goods or that you're no good. The guys that judge have probably done worse than you
(edited 8 years ago)
Original post by BrokenLife
I'm sure that guy must have a past too or sin too or whatever yet Allah chose to forgive him. Who is he to forgive you? Listen, sister, as long as Allah has forgiven you you're safe. All you gotta do now is trust him. He shall grant you with a good hearted husband who won't judge you on something you regret doing.
Thank you, I cried when I read your post
As a Muslim male, I say yes - someone who has taken the time to repent, changed themselves and has become a lot more focused on the deen may be better than someone without that history and been relatively practicing, and I highly respect someone who has made that change. It's natural for some people to not like to think of their wife/prospective wife ever having done bad things, but at the same time one can learn from the first generation of Muslims who might have had bad elements of their life before Islam but then turned to Allah, became the best people on this earth and accepted each other in spite of whatever pasts they had. None of us have been perfect but so long as we strive for better, then we cannot be judged for our imperfection.
Do not be put off sis, there are guys out there who will marry you - good, caring, religious and accepting guys - so you need not be anxious May Allah help those who sin learn from your example, and may He bless you with a happy future
Do not be put off sis, there are guys out there who will marry you - good, caring, religious and accepting guys - so you need not be anxious
May Allah help those who sin learn from your example, and may He bless you with a happy future (edited 8 years ago)
Funny you ask this because a lot of muslim guys drink, have girlfriends, have sex and then expect their wives to have been pious saints before marriage, so don't worry about it. Any decent guy worth his salt will accept you for who you are and if he doesn't then he isn't worth your time.
I myself have had muslim girlfriends in the past who obviously had to hide the relationship from their family and friends and would often tell me about the unfair double standards and that when they inevitably had to get married to a muslim man, that they would just pretend to be virgins. Sad really.
I myself have had muslim girlfriends in the past who obviously had to hide the relationship from their family and friends and would often tell me about the unfair double standards and that when they inevitably had to get married to a muslim man, that they would just pretend to be virgins. Sad really.
Original post by Anonymous
Thank you, I cried when I read your post
Omg noo that's not I intended.
Guess you would have to find a person like me but of course a male version to marry haha
Original post by Pharmaholic
So many people make mistakes, so don't feel bad about what you've done; you've asked Allah for his forgiveness and you sound that you genuinely regret what you did. At least a you're still a virgin, right.
In today's society, it's difficult to find a Muslim man who isn't a virgin. So don't think you're used goods or that you're no good. The guys that judge have probably done worse than you
In today's society, it's difficult to find a Muslim man who isn't a virgin. So don't think you're used goods or that you're no good. The guys that judge have probably done worse than you
Might want to change that typo to 'is'
Original post by Anonymous
x
Everyone has a past, the key is you both accepting each others past and moving forward together.
Original post by Anonymous
Funny you ask this because a lot of muslim guys drink, have girlfriends, have sex and then expect their wives to have been pious saints before marriage, so don't worry about it. Any decent guy worth his salt will accept you for who you are and if he doesn't then he isn't worth your time.
I myself have had muslim girlfriends in the past who obviously had to hide the relationship from their family and friends and would often tell me about the unfair double standards and that when they inevitably had to get married to a muslim man, that they would just pretend to be virgins. Sad really.
I myself have had muslim girlfriends in the past who obviously had to hide the relationship from their family and friends and would often tell me about the unfair double standards and that when they inevitably had to get married to a muslim man, that they would just pretend to be virgins. Sad really.
Hypocritical misogynistic double standards in Islam?
Surely you jest.
Original post by Tur
Might want to change that typo to 'is'
Ooh thanks for seeing that!
I wouldn't have a problem. Especially since you've realised your mistakes, and have tried to be a better Muslim, which would only make me respect you more.
(edited 8 years ago)
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