The Student Room Group

Female British Pakistani interested in marriage, but concerned

Salaam :smile: I hope you are well.

I am a 22 year old british pakistani living in London. I have recently graduated with my biomedical sciences degree with a year abroad this summer. I am an aspiring medic and have just sent in a graduate entry medicine application for 2024 entry (4 year course). The application was a last minute rushed move as I had actually planned to apply the next year for some personal reasons (a bit long of a story) but my current circumstances made me think I could still give it a go.
I am currently private tutoring and am set to work as a teaching assistant.

Inshallah the worst case is. I would not get in this year but will enter in the next (2025) inshallah (age 24). I have a passion for medicine so for me, age doesn't matter. I don't count years, i just want to achieve my goals and strive for fulfillment, happiness and Allah's pleasure and mercy.

But at the moment, I am interested in marriage and where i am in life, I believe I am ready for such a committment.

I have been doing well with key traits such as deen, communication, patience, tolerance, good mental health, taking care of myself, others and a home; I know the islamic roles and fardh of a husband and wife and know what I want and don't want.

The only thing these days is, I feel like no man would want to accept a girl who is still in the process of getting into med. I have already come across potentials; I looked away hastily telling myself off "not until I at least get enrolled into med" but even then, would they like it when I am studying medicine living with them.
Note - I do believe a muslim marriage is to be consummated after nikkah, so I wouldn't be interested in signing and then living seperately.

Whilst my husband would be at work, I would be on campus or placement and will use his "away time" as my "extra study time" so I will ensure it doesn't affect our relationship. I just won't be able to work so that means he will have to traditionally (which I am fully for), support me and the home financially.

As for post medicine - I am an extremely family-oriented person so I have thought hard to make the decision that when I finish my medical degree, I will go into part time junior doctor training. That way, I will do what I love YET fulfill my duty as a family member/wife.

I don't want to get married after age 24.

What are the thoughts of any muslim brothers here? would they be okay with this? Or, would it be a case of "thank you, next"
(haha jk lol)

Would like to hear some thoughts and don't worry I won't get offended with any harsh answers.
Jazakallah khayr!
Pray Tahujjud Night Prayer as much as you can. It is usually the 1-2 hours before Fajr prayer. Also you're closest to Allah in prostration. So make dua in prostration, recite Ayat Al Kursi, Surah Yasin, Surah Waqiah and Surah Ikhlaas. 🙂
Original post by Anonymous #1
Salaam :smile: I hope you are well.

I am a 22 year old british pakistani living in London. I have recently graduated with my biomedical sciences degree with a year abroad this summer. I am an aspiring medic and have just sent in a graduate entry medicine application for 2024 entry (4 year course). The application was a last minute rushed move as I had actually planned to apply the next year for some personal reasons (a bit long of a story) but my current circumstances made me think I could still give it a go.
I am currently private tutoring and am set to work as a teaching assistant.

Inshallah the worst case is. I would not get in this year but will enter in the next (2025) inshallah (age 24). I have a passion for medicine so for me, age doesn't matter. I don't count years, i just want to achieve my goals and strive for fulfillment, happiness and Allah's pleasure and mercy.

But at the moment, I am interested in marriage and where i am in life, I believe I am ready for such a committment.

I have been doing well with key traits such as deen, communication, patience, tolerance, good mental health, taking care of myself, others and a home; I know the islamic roles and fardh of a husband and wife and know what I want and don't want.

The only thing these days is, I feel like no man would want to accept a girl who is still in the process of getting into med. I have already come across potentials; I looked away hastily telling myself off "not until I at least get enrolled into med" but even then, would they like it when I am studying medicine living with them.
Note - I do believe a muslim marriage is to be consummated after nikkah, so I wouldn't be interested in signing and then living seperately.

Whilst my husband would be at work, I would be on campus or placement and will use his "away time" as my "extra study time" so I will ensure it doesn't affect our relationship. I just won't be able to work so that means he will have to traditionally (which I am fully for), support me and the home financially.

As for post medicine - I am an extremely family-oriented person so I have thought hard to make the decision that when I finish my medical degree, I will go into part time junior doctor training. That way, I will do what I love YET fulfill my duty as a family member/wife.

I don't want to get married after age 24.

What are the thoughts of any muslim brothers here? would they be okay with this? Or, would it be a case of "thank you, next"
(haha jk lol)

Would like to hear some thoughts and don't worry I won't get offended with any harsh answers.
Jazakallah khayr!

Sister, if you know anybody around the age of 18 looking to get married, please let me know
Original post by Anonymous #1
Salaam :smile: I hope you are well.

I am a 22 year old british pakistani living in London. I have recently graduated with my biomedical sciences degree with a year abroad this summer. I am an aspiring medic and have just sent in a graduate entry medicine application for 2024 entry (4 year course). The application was a last minute rushed move as I had actually planned to apply the next year for some personal reasons (a bit long of a story) but my current circumstances made me think I could still give it a go.
I am currently private tutoring and am set to work as a teaching assistant.

Inshallah the worst case is. I would not get in this year but will enter in the next (2025) inshallah (age 24). I have a passion for medicine so for me, age doesn't matter. I don't count years, i just want to achieve my goals and strive for fulfillment, happiness and Allah's pleasure and mercy.

But at the moment, I am interested in marriage and where i am in life, I believe I am ready for such a committment.

I have been doing well with key traits such as deen, communication, patience, tolerance, good mental health, taking care of myself, others and a home; I know the islamic roles and fardh of a husband and wife and know what I want and don't want.

The only thing these days is, I feel like no man would want to accept a girl who is still in the process of getting into med. I have already come across potentials; I looked away hastily telling myself off "not until I at least get enrolled into med" but even then, would they like it when I am studying medicine living with them.
Note - I do believe a muslim marriage is to be consummated after nikkah, so I wouldn't be interested in signing and then living seperately.

Whilst my husband would be at work, I would be on campus or placement and will use his "away time" as my "extra study time" so I will ensure it doesn't affect our relationship. I just won't be able to work so that means he will have to traditionally (which I am fully for), support me and the home financially.

As for post medicine - I am an extremely family-oriented person so I have thought hard to make the decision that when I finish my medical degree, I will go into part time junior doctor training. That way, I will do what I love YET fulfill my duty as a family member/wife.

I don't want to get married after age 24.

What are the thoughts of any muslim brothers here? would they be okay with this? Or, would it be a case of "thank you, next"
(haha jk lol)

Would like to hear some thoughts and don't worry I won't get offended with any harsh answers.
Jazakallah khayr!

Salaam what do you mean by would we be okay with this?
Reply 4
Original post by Mohammed_80
Salaam what do you mean by would we be okay with this?

Wa'salaam, I am sorry I realised I may have rambled a lot!

Okay with marrying a sister whose deciding to go into medicine. He may end up marrying her during her studying the course or preparing to get in. Would you say its a let down? and that she should first finish the degree (or maybe not even go for it at all)?
Reply 5
Original post by thegeek888
Pray Tahujjud Night Prayer as much as you can. It is usually the 1-2 hours before Fajr prayer. Also you're closest to Allah in prostration. So make dua in prostration, recite Ayat Al Kursi, Surah Yasin, Surah Waqiah and Surah Ikhlaas. 🙂

Jazakallah for the advice! may Allah reward you and grant you success and imaan
Original post by Anonymous #1
Wa'salaam, I am sorry I realised I may have rambled a lot!

Okay with marrying a sister whose deciding to go into medicine. He may end up marrying her during her studying the course or preparing to get in. Would you say its a let down? and that she should first finish the degree (or maybe not even go for it at all)?

No you haven’t actually 😅

Well what difference does it make if you both want to pursue a field in medicine. It’s a rewarding stable career, I’m in the field of ICT although the girl I want to marry believes I could be in multiple fields because of my knowledge, especially in Law as she does Law. I don’t see it an issue marrying you whilst your studying or preparing to take up the course because your completing half your deen reasonably young, if he’s really keen on marrying you he can make compromises for you to pursue your education and be flexible by allowing you to stay with your parents till you feel it’s necessary to move in, also if your both stable able to afford a house, make the money whilst studying shouldn’t be seen as a problem. For something like marriage you should never stop pursuing your dreams, and no it’s not a let down we have compromises for a reason if he truly wants to marry you he would wait otherwise how’s he the one. Sister I’ve told my mother I want to marry this girl, I’ve waited a year and a half for her to tell her parents still nothing yet, she said marriage for us possible once she completes her university she’s currently in her second year of her degree next year her final if he truly has the heart, wait and patience no reason to why he can’t do it
Reply 7
Original post by Anonymous #1
Salaam :smile: I hope you are well.

I am a 22 year old british pakistani living in London. I have recently graduated with my biomedical sciences degree with a year abroad this summer. I am an aspiring medic and have just sent in a graduate entry medicine application for 2024 entry (4 year course). The application was a last minute rushed move as I had actually planned to apply the next year for some personal reasons (a bit long of a story) but my current circumstances made me think I could still give it a go.
I am currently private tutoring and am set to work as a teaching assistant.

Inshallah the worst case is. I would not get in this year but will enter in the next (2025) inshallah (age 24). I have a passion for medicine so for me, age doesn't matter. I don't count years, i just want to achieve my goals and strive for fulfillment, happiness and Allah's pleasure and mercy.

But at the moment, I am interested in marriage and where i am in life, I believe I am ready for such a committment.

I have been doing well with key traits such as deen, communication, patience, tolerance, good mental health, taking care of myself, others and a home; I know the islamic roles and fardh of a husband and wife and know what I want and don't want.

The only thing these days is, I feel like no man would want to accept a girl who is still in the process of getting into med. I have already come across potentials; I looked away hastily telling myself off "not until I at least get enrolled into med" but even then, would they like it when I am studying medicine living with them.
Note - I do believe a muslim marriage is to be consummated after nikkah, so I wouldn't be interested in signing and then living seperately.

Whilst my husband would be at work, I would be on campus or placement and will use his "away time" as my "extra study time" so I will ensure it doesn't affect our relationship. I just won't be able to work so that means he will have to traditionally (which I am fully for), support me and the home financially.

As for post medicine - I am an extremely family-oriented person so I have thought hard to make the decision that when I finish my medical degree, I will go into part time junior doctor training. That way, I will do what I love YET fulfill my duty as a family member/wife.

I don't want to get married after age 24.

What are the thoughts of any muslim brothers here? would they be okay with this? Or, would it be a case of "thank you, next"
(haha jk lol)

Would like to hear some thoughts and don't worry I won't get offended with any harsh answers.
Jazakallah khayr!

Wa 'alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu.

As a Muslim man, I personally would desire that my wife is at home and has her time free to look after the home and our children as well as seeking Islamic knowledge. The reality of the matter is that pursuing intensive academic studies and careers gets in the way of this, which is not ideal especially considering the fact that we are responsible for providing for our wives and children anyway and have no problem in doing so. Furthermore, I know that many practising Muslim men today are trying to put an emphasis on the family and protecting from ideologies that oppose Islām so they intend to homeschool their children, which requires extra time and effort from the wife. In honesty, these are the men you want because they are those that fear Allāh and will fulfil your rights and the rights your children.

By studying, working, seeking Islamic knowledge, fulfilling my rights, fulfilling the children's rights and doing housework, you are definitely going to get physically and mentally drained, which would lead to you falling short in some of these areas.

Given that you asked, I would decline you based on the reasons I mentioned.
(edited 2 months ago)
Original post by Anonymous #1
Jazakallah for the advice! may Allah reward you and grant you success and imaan

I would marry you but I have a model girlfriend who will become my wife and she's already converted to Islam. 🙂 lol
Reply 9
Original post by thegeek888
I would marry you but I have a model girlfriend who will become my wife and she's already converted to Islam. 🙂 lol

hahah LOL, but mashallah thats amazing, good for you. May Allah bring you together in goodness and imaan and make each other the reason to enter paradise.
Please make du'a for me too so that I can also find a righteous spouse who can accept me inshaAllah.
Barakallahu feek!
Reply 10
Original post by I7V
Wa 'alaykum as-salaam wa rahmatullaahi wa barakaatuhu.

As a Muslim man, I personally would desire that my wife is at home and has her time free to look after the home and our children as well as seeking Islamic knowledge. The reality of the matter is that pursuing intensive academic studies and careers gets in the way of this, which is not ideal especially considering the fact that we are responsible for providing for our wives and children anyway and have no problem in doing so. Furthermore, I know that many practising Muslim men today are trying to put an emphasis on the family and protecting from ideologies that oppose Islām so they intend to homeschool their children, which requires extra time and effort from the wife. In honesty, these are the men you want because they are those that fear Allāh and will fulfil your rights and the rights your children.

By studying, working, seeking Islamic knowledge, fulfilling my rights, fulfilling the children's rights and doing housework, you are definitely going to get physically and mentally drained, which would lead to you falling short in some of these areas.

Given that you asked, I would decline you based on the reasons I mentioned.

I appreciate you being honest with me, thank you for your input and valid reasons/explanation.
Jazakallah khayr, barakallahu feek
Original post by Anonymous #1
Salaam :smile: I hope you are well.

I am a 22 year old british pakistani living in London. I have recently graduated with my biomedical sciences degree with a year abroad this summer. I am an aspiring medic and have just sent in a graduate entry medicine application for 2024 entry (4 year course). The application was a last minute rushed move as I had actually planned to apply the next year for some personal reasons (a bit long of a story) but my current circumstances made me think I could still give it a go.
I am currently private tutoring and am set to work as a teaching assistant.

Inshallah the worst case is. I would not get in this year but will enter in the next (2025) inshallah (age 24). I have a passion for medicine so for me, age doesn't matter. I don't count years, i just want to achieve my goals and strive for fulfillment, happiness and Allah's pleasure and mercy.

But at the moment, I am interested in marriage and where i am in life, I believe I am ready for such a committment.

I have been doing well with key traits such as deen, communication, patience, tolerance, good mental health, taking care of myself, others and a home; I know the islamic roles and fardh of a husband and wife and know what I want and don't want.

The only thing these days is, I feel like no man would want to accept a girl who is still in the process of getting into med. I have already come across potentials; I looked away hastily telling myself off "not until I at least get enrolled into med" but even then, would they like it when I am studying medicine living with them.
Note - I do believe a muslim marriage is to be consummated after nikkah, so I wouldn't be interested in signing and then living seperately.

Whilst my husband would be at work, I would be on campus or placement and will use his "away time" as my "extra study time" so I will ensure it doesn't affect our relationship. I just won't be able to work so that means he will have to traditionally (which I am fully for), support me and the home financially.

As for post medicine - I am an extremely family-oriented person so I have thought hard to make the decision that when I finish my medical degree, I will go into part time junior doctor training. That way, I will do what I love YET fulfill my duty as a family member/wife.

I don't want to get married after age 24.

What are the thoughts of any muslim brothers here? would they be okay with this? Or, would it be a case of "thank you, next"
(haha jk lol)

Would like to hear some thoughts and don't worry I won't get offended with any harsh answers.
Jazakallah khayr!


Wasalaam! I'm literally in the same position as you and was worried about the same thin😣
Don’t worry, I’m a male and unmarried yet as I’ve been too career focused. I’ve just started looking for a wife as I don’t want to delay it too much. I had potential girls who were interested but they weren’t my type, I’m looking for someone who is religious, InshaAllah all goes well for you. Just keep making dua and make effort and I’m sure you’ll find someone good!

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