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he wants more

iv recently broken up with my bf of 2 &1/2 yrs and have started seein this guy. we spend loads of time together and i really love bein with him and how he cares for me and my family. he recently told me he loves me and he wants to be with me. but i dont want a relationship straight away having just come out of a long long relationship. plus im moving to bristol in october and dont believe long distance relationships can last.
i dont want to lose him at all i really like him and spending time with him but i cant help but think he might get frustrated with the fact i dont want a relationship and go find someone else.

i dont know what i hope to acheive from posting this, just peoples general veiws on my situation.

thank u for reading x

Reply 1

Bismarck

13

Isn't it just a bit selfish of you to say that you don't want a relationship with this guy but want to keep him from having a relationship with someone else?

Reply 2

daniel_williams

15

i think you need to be open and honest with him and tell him straight what you think of your current situation and possible future together... you can always remain good friends and see what its like in 3 or 4 years time when you've completed uni.

Reply 3

dh00001

16

tell him. if you have no intention of keeping the relationship when you move he needs to know so you arent stringing him along.
it will be hard but it will be harder the longer you leave it

Reply 4

kylie88

OP

1

im not keepin him from havin one :s i just like him alot and wudnt like to see him with someone else. im not keepin im from one

Reply 5

Bismarck

13

kylie88

im not keepin him from havin one :s i just like him alot and wudnt like to see him with someone else. im not keepin im from one

You don't see what's wrong with not willing to go out with someone and not wanting them to go out with anyone else? It's either one or the other. Either commit to him or tell him your intentions, with all the consequences that will bring.

Reply 6

evil groove

She's not saying she won't accept it if he goes with someone else, just that she won't like it. She's allowed to have these feelings, Bismarck, even if she doesn't act on them.

O.P. If you love him too perhaps you should give the long-distance relationship a go. October's a long way off and you two can spend a lot of time together between now and then. Perhaps you'll realise you don't want to let him go, perhaps you will be bored of him but give it a try if you think he's worth it. IMO he sounds very nice :smile:

Reply 7

khil

15

kylie88

iv recently broken up with my bf of 2 &1/2 yrs and have started seein this guy. we spend loads of time together and i really love bein with him and how he cares for me and my family. he recently told me he loves me and he wants to be with me. but i dont want a relationship straight away having just come out of a long long relationship. plus im moving to bristol in october and dont believe long distance relationships can last.
i dont want to lose him at all i really like him and spending time with him but i cant help but think he might get frustrated with the fact i dont want a relationship and go find someone else.

i dont know what i hope to acheive from posting this, just peoples general veiws on my situation.

thank u for reading x

Long distance relationships can last. I know a couple who were dating since secondary school, went off to separate unis, and then married each other after graduation. They're still happily married.

My sister is in a long distance relationship - her bf currently has a job in Wales while my sister studies for her MA in Scotland. It's been about half a year so far I think, or maybe just under that, and it's still going great. They visit each other every so often and I know my sister is extremely happy.

I might end up in a long distance relationship myself and I'm so frightened of the very idea, cus it's the holidays atm and my bf lives in Germany while I'm in England, and I'm missing him so much already and I have another 2 months to go before I'll see him. He might be studying for his MA in Germany - I pray to God that he stays in Notts (where we study now) - but there's no way, absolutely no way I'm gonna end this relationship if he does end up in Germany. I'm quite simply unwilling to give up on something so wonderful and so perfect.

In the end, if you're committed and you think the person's worth it, I think long distance relationships are worth a try. Sure, it's hard and sure it may not work out - but isn't that the case even with normal relationships? And even if it doesn't work out, at least you KNOW it couldn't have worked out, as opposed to just ASSUMING that it wouldn't work out. And how do you know it wouldn't? I personally would rather try and fail, than to not try at all, cus if I don't try, I'll never know and I'll wonder all my life "What if?". But if I knew, then I can move on. I think long distance can work if you know each other to an extent, and if you're both willing to make that sacrifice and commitment.

However, if you're adamant not to try this and you're simply not ready for a relationship, that's fine too, but stop leading this man on. He's in love with you - you'll break his heart either way, so do it sooner rather than later, cus the later you leave it, the more attached he will be, therefore the greater the pain. If you do not want to commit to this guy in a relationship, then let him go. Let him get over you, move on and find someone else who's ready for a relationship. You two could still be friends once he's got over you.

Be honest with him.

He wouldn't be able to go out with someone else if he was dead.. Just saying..

Reply 10

HearTheThunder

17

Bismarck

Isn't it just a bit selfish of you to say that you don't want a relationship with this guy but want to keep him from having a relationship with someone else?

EDIT: Useless post, I know, but it is pretty much everything I think of the poster summed up quite nicely.

Reply 11

hippieglitter

19

Tell him you don't feel ready for a relationship just now having just got out of along one, but say you really like him and could you just be friends for now.

Reply 12

username47781

20

Be honest with him, but don't mean to sound harsh but you will have to accept that you will lose him to someone else.

he wants more

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