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Should I meet up with this girl I like, or is it best to leave it?

I've had a massive crush on my friend's sister for around 5 years now, who's a year below me. This started back when we were at school, and now we're both at different unis. I've told my friend how I feel and he's completely fine with it all.

The issue I'd had though was that throughout that time, in person she'd shown some real signs of potential interest in me, but when I would sometimes message her on Facebook it varied. Sometimes she would be enthusiastic and other times she wouldn't really say very much in response and a potential conversation would stop dead, which gave me seriously mixed messages and lowered my confidence as a result. I've written all this up in much more detail elsewhere and the responses I got generally said that there was a real chance she fancied me or had fancied me at one point, despite the messages.

The only problem was that not being confident enough, especially given that she was my friend's sister, I never plucked up the courage to say anything for fear of rejection and creating potential awkwardness, throughout all that time.

I've recently however been really thinking about her a lot. The last time I saw her was at a party not long before I went back for my 2nd year, and for some reason she was suddenly really friendly with me and we'd gotten on and interacted with each other more, and better, than we'd ever had before and she instigated all of that. Before then we'd just really been acquaintances but this was the first time she'd treated me as if we were proper friends. Since going back to uni this has made me think about her even more.

So I know I've left it stupidly late, but now we're both at uni I've been really thinking about possibly asking her if she'd like to meet up sometime, and then seeing how it goes from there. However the only way I could do this would firstly be to message her on Facebook asking her, and then assuming she wants to do it, I would most likely have to travel down to her to meet up.

I'm happy to do all this in principle, but my dilemma is I don't know how this would look from her perspective? What I mean is that I would be messaging her rather out of the blue about meeting up, which may seem a bit random as this is never something we'd even discussed before. And also her uni's around 100 miles away from mine, which is anything between a 2-3 hour journey from where I am, so I don't know what she'd think about me going to all that trouble just to meet up? Would she be flattered, feel awkward etc.? But at the same time, if there is still a chance, I don't want to waste it.

What do you guys think I should do based on this, and if you think I should do it, how should I ask her? Thanks for your suggestions!

Reply 1

markovchain17

You really did miss your chance as you've said but if I was you, I'd pop up to her on fb but dont ask if she wants to meet up straight away, that would seem a bit weird and maybe overwhelming. If she was friendly the last time she saw you she will understand why you wanted to pop up and chat. See how it goes on fb, she might be friendly again and you'll know the right time to ask her if she wants to meet.

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Reply 2

Closeout

Don't do it. She's probably seeing other guys at uni, and because you waited so long you're going to seem beta and unconfident. You probably had a chance but your awkwardness ****ed it, coming from someone who is well vesed in this **** - the fairy tale ending won't happen. Not even close.