Girlfriend past bothering me
We just started a relationship recently and we were discussing our previous partners. She was the first girlfriend I had whereas I was her second boyfriend. She was my first kiss, first to hold hands, first to have a relationship. But her ex-boyfriend was the first for her for everything, I mean literally everything except sex. She had kisses, blowjobs etc... except sex and she is still a virgin. We just started a relationship and we like each other alot.
But her past is bothering me a lot. What should I do? It keeps flickering at the back of my mind. Should I pursue a relationship or should I just give up because I can't accept her past?
Please help. I'm really stuck and confused.
Thank you.
But her past is bothering me a lot. What should I do? It keeps flickering at the back of my mind. Should I pursue a relationship or should I just give up because I can't accept her past?
Please help. I'm really stuck and confused.
Thank you.
Scroll to see replies
Original post by Anonymous
We just started a relationship recently and we were discussing our previous partners. She was the first girlfriend I had whereas I was her second boyfriend. She was my first kiss, first to hold hands, first to have a relationship. But her ex-boyfriend was the first for her for everything, I mean literally everything except sex. She had kisses, blowjobs etc... except sex and she is still a virgin. We just started a relationship and we like each other alot.
But her past is bothering me a lot. What should I do? It keeps flickering at the back of my mind. Should I pursue a relationship or should I just give up because I can't accept her past?
Please help. I'm really stuck and confused.
Thank you.
But her past is bothering me a lot. What should I do? It keeps flickering at the back of my mind. Should I pursue a relationship or should I just give up because I can't accept her past?
Please help. I'm really stuck and confused.
Thank you.
I am afraid that in todays rather promiscuous society you will be unlikely to find a girl who is still " sexually naive" unless you are both about 13.
If she had been out having relationships with all and sundry then I could understand your concern.
She has had kisses......, still a virgin...... this is your first relationship - enjoy it because this is about as innocent as it gets
Original post by Anonymous
We just started a relationship recently and we were discussing our previous partners. She was the first girlfriend I had whereas I was her second boyfriend. She was my first kiss, first to hold hands, first to have a relationship. But her ex-boyfriend was the first for her for everything, I mean literally everything except sex. She had kisses, blowjobs etc... except sex and she is still a virgin. We just started a relationship and we like each other alot.
But her past is bothering me a lot. What should I do? It keeps flickering at the back of my mind. Should I pursue a relationship or should I just give up because I can't accept her past?
Please help. I'm really stuck and confused.
Thank you.
But her past is bothering me a lot. What should I do? It keeps flickering at the back of my mind. Should I pursue a relationship or should I just give up because I can't accept her past?
Please help. I'm really stuck and confused.
Thank you.
I had this and I never got over it. I felt like cheating which is something completely out of character for me. It will likely always be in you mind she's been used by another guy for his sexual needs i.e. blowjobs and it's not fair you are not her first. People will say get over it, but it's like telling an anxious person to stop being anxious, it's not logical and you know it's not logical but you can't get it out your head. At least she is a virgin so that's something..
Oh my god....she has a past?!? How ****ing dare that ****ing slut not preserve herself specifically for you. After all, you are so special.
Hang on....what's that you say? Why, it's normal to have a past? Oh....I see. Okay.
OP, either get over it or break up with her so she can get together with someone who is not judgemental and insecure .
Hang on....what's that you say? Why, it's normal to have a past? Oh....I see. Okay.
OP, either get over it or break up with her so she can get together with someone who is not judgemental and insecure .
Original post by porn induced coma
Oh my god....she has a past?!? How ****ing dare that ****ing slut not preserve herself specifically for you. After all, you are so special.
Hang on....what's that you say? Why, it's normal to have a past? Oh....I see. Okay.
OP, either get over it or break up with her so she can get together with someone who is not judgemental and insecure .
Hang on....what's that you say? Why, it's normal to have a past? Oh....I see. Okay.
OP, either get over it or break up with her so she can get together with someone who is not judgemental and insecure .
calm down.Wait, someone is offended because his girlfriend has a past that doesnt even include sex? Do you live in a cave? Like WTF are you complaining about exactly?
Boohoo cry me a river. She is still a virgin and has only had one previous boyfriend. Grow up op.
Not going to be as harsh as the others here, but I echo the sentiment that it's something you will need to get over if you want to have a long-lasting, healthy relationship.
Unfortunately we don't live in a fantasy word where the one we love will have had no past. More often than not, you will meet someone who has had *some* experience, and the older you get the more likely that will be the case. To put things into perspective, you could end this relationship and find yourself a year later dating a girl who has slept with a few guys etc. By comparison, your current partner is fairly innocent.
Honestly, I'd try to put it past you and focus on what you have now; a loving girlfriend who wants to be with you. At the end of the day, it's your future together that is most important, and her past will be completely forgotten when you're both creating new memories together.
I understand your concern, but in the grand scheme of things it's really nothing to worry about.
Unfortunately we don't live in a fantasy word where the one we love will have had no past. More often than not, you will meet someone who has had *some* experience, and the older you get the more likely that will be the case. To put things into perspective, you could end this relationship and find yourself a year later dating a girl who has slept with a few guys etc. By comparison, your current partner is fairly innocent.
Honestly, I'd try to put it past you and focus on what you have now; a loving girlfriend who wants to be with you. At the end of the day, it's your future together that is most important, and her past will be completely forgotten when you're both creating new memories together.
I understand your concern, but in the grand scheme of things it's really nothing to worry about.
Best post, guy is obviously very young and it's not like he's been a **** over it.
Original post by Anonymous
I had this and I never got over it. I felt like cheating which is something completely out of character for me. It will likely always be in you mind she's been used by another guy for his sexual needs i.e. blowjobs and it's not fair you are not her first. People will say get over it, but it's like telling an anxious person to stop being anxious, it's not logical and you know it's not logical but you can't get it out your head. At least she is a virgin so that's something..
What happened with your situation? Are you guys together or broke up?
The older you get the more you are going to have to face the fact that your partner may have been in other relationships and been with other guys before you.
You need to work at getting over this now because otherwise it will just eat away at you in every relationship that you have for the rest of your life.
Alternatively join some sort of Church/ Christian youth society/ Christian Union if you are that desperate to meet a girl who has never been with anyone before in any way, but this kind of girl will make you wait a long time for a lot of things.
You need to work at getting over this now because otherwise it will just eat away at you in every relationship that you have for the rest of your life.
Alternatively join some sort of Church/ Christian youth society/ Christian Union if you are that desperate to meet a girl who has never been with anyone before in any way, but this kind of girl will make you wait a long time for a lot of things.
Her past is reeaaally tame dude, I'm unsure why you're dwelling on it.
I understand. From a girls perspective, as I've not had any relations I would ideally want the same too. Saying that, if I found someone who I really liked/loved then I'd have to get over his past otherwise there really is no future.
So my advice for you is that of you both want each other in the long term, then get over her past. I know it's easy for me to say that and not so easy to do. Therefore just think of it like this, she's with you now. Not with someone else.
Besides, if I was your girl, I'd be hurt that you can't get over my past. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't like you. She's still a virgin which is more than many other people nowadays. And it was only one past boyfriend. If you two go ahead, you'll both be each others first in something.
So my advice for you is that of you both want each other in the long term, then get over her past. I know it's easy for me to say that and not so easy to do. Therefore just think of it like this, she's with you now. Not with someone else.
Besides, if I was your girl, I'd be hurt that you can't get over my past. I wouldn't be with you if I didn't like you. She's still a virgin which is more than many other people nowadays. And it was only one past boyfriend. If you two go ahead, you'll both be each others first in something.
If you want to have a healthy, long term relationship with her you really need to get over the fact she was with someone before you. If you can't, are you really ready for a relationship with someone who's had previous partners? If it was me, I'd be offended if someone couldn't get over my past.
Also, with her being a virgin, at least you'll be each other's first if you two did decide to go and have sex!
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Also, with her being a virgin, at least you'll be each other's first if you two did decide to go and have sex!
Posted from TSR Mobile
lmao yall needa calm down. Theres nothing wrong about being bothered with her past relationship. Having worries is normal, dont see why people are tripping about it. But she's with you now so just enjoy your time together and try not to worry about other people
Original post by Anonymous
I had this and I never got over it. I felt like cheating which is something completely out of character for me. It will likely always be in you mind she's been used by another guy for his sexual needs i.e. blowjobs and it's not fair you are not her first. People will say get over it, but it's like telling an anxious person to stop being anxious, it's not logical and you know it's not logical but you can't get it out your head. At least she is a virgin so that's something..
what do you mean its not fair? do you own her body?
If it's not something you can handle, it's going to put strain on the relationship and might cause it to fail eventually, or reduce the joy you get from by producing stess. As I see it, you can:
a) Talk to her about it, reason whether it really does bother you and if always will. Try to understand why it does and try to work through it with her.
b) Decide it's not worth it and end the relationship. Then try and find someone who has never done any of that -- this will be very difficult, but might be the only way to keep your peace of mind in a future relationship if you determine there is no way to stop this bothering you.
Finally, have you considered you perhaps feel insecure? In my experience this can be an origin for relationship strain. I'd personally advise, very calmly, talking about it and being objective and honest.
a) Talk to her about it, reason whether it really does bother you and if always will. Try to understand why it does and try to work through it with her.
b) Decide it's not worth it and end the relationship. Then try and find someone who has never done any of that -- this will be very difficult, but might be the only way to keep your peace of mind in a future relationship if you determine there is no way to stop this bothering you.
Finally, have you considered you perhaps feel insecure? In my experience this can be an origin for relationship strain. I'd personally advise, very calmly, talking about it and being objective and honest.
(edited 7 years ago)
Lol that's nothing to worry about.
It's likely to matter to you less as the relationship goes on and you feel more confident in it and secure about her feelings for you.I echo other peoples sentiment that there's no point dumping her for this, you're going to struggle to find someone who hasn't got sexual experience if you're 16+ and as you get older that is going to become more and more pronounced... if girls your age are already not virgins then in a couple of years most of them will have slept with several people - you're going to have to learn to live with it
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