Help, I think I have a kind of dyspraxia

Lately, I can't get myself to properly converse with people or articulate anymore. I have the perfect statement to say in my head, sound and correct, but when I want to say it, either nothing comes out or I blurt out gibberish.
It's like my mind wants to say something but my mouth muscles refuse to. It's like I lose what I wanted to say and instead I try to make up for that on the fly and then gibberish comes out. I can't even make my lips say what my mind thinks!

- I'm looking for a job and I can't even talk on the phone, I sound like a stuttering, mumbling weirdo as opposed to when I was fluent and awesome in college.
- I try to talk to people and I have the hardest time. Usually the first impression, no, make that 100% of the time, the first impression people get of me is that I'm a weirdo because I can't even make myself say "Hello", I say "H.. hurgh.. euh-t-t-t-t, he.. hello" because I am not in the moment and I am consciously trying to make my mouth and voice say something as opposed to normal people, from whom it just flows out.

What's that all about?! It's weird!

What is wrong with me?! I'm worried. I've talked about this with a socially isolated friend of mine and she told me she can relate to what I'm experiencing because she's experiencing it too: i.e., (temporary) speech handicap.

Apparently this is a symptom that develops when you have been isolated from people for an extended period of time (in my case, since 2008).
It's not fully true though, I just graduated and I've been in college for years, interacting with others sometimes. However, that wasn't enough interaction for me to stay normal.

Why is this happening to me? Has anyone had this or heard about this before?

Lately, I can't get myself to properly converse with people or articulate anymore. I have the perfect statement to say in my head, sound and correct, but when I want to say it, either nothing comes out or I blurt out gibberish.
It's like my mind wants to say something but my mouth muscles refuse to. It's like I lose what I wanted to say and instead I try to make up for that on the fly and then gibberish comes out. I can't even make my lips say what my mind thinks!

- I'm looking for a job and I can't even talk on the phone, I sound like a stuttering, mumbling weirdo as opposed to when I was fluent and awesome in college.
- I try to talk to people and I have the hardest time. Usually the first impression, no, make that 100% of the time, the first impression people get of me is that I'm a weirdo because I can't even make myself say "Hello", I say "H.. hurgh.. uh-t-t-t-t, he.. hello" because I am not in the moment and I am consciously trying to make my mouth and voice say something as opposed to normal people, from whom it just flows out.

What's that all about?! It's weird!

What is wrong with me?! I'm worried. I've talked about this with a socially isolated friend of mine and she told me she can relate to what I'm experiencing because she's experiencing it too: i.e., (temporary) speech handicap.

Apparently this is a symptom that develops when you have been isolated from people for an extended period of time (in my case, since 2008).
It's not fully true though, I just graduated and I've been in college for years, interacting with others sometimes. However, that wasn't enough interaction for me to stay normal.

Why is this happening to me? Has anyone had this or heard about this before?

It could indeed be DVD, a form of dyspraxia, which is a difficulty in sequencing sounds and controlling speech organs. Maybe you could look into getting a diagnosis? I doubt a lack of interaction would have caused this. Dyspraxia is a neurological disorder that develops from childhood, although I believe that it can be obtained through some kind of brain damage. (but don't quote me on that) Do you think it could some form of anxiety?

Do you have problems with other aspects of co-ordination?

Don't see yourself as "abnormal" though, because you're not.

Lately, I can't get myself to properly converse with people or articulate anymore. I have the perfect statement to say in my head, sound and correct, but when I want to say it, either nothing comes out or I blurt out gibberish.
It's like my mind wants to say something but my mouth muscles refuse to. It's like I lose what I wanted to say and instead I try to make up for that on the fly and then gibberish comes out. I can't even make my lips say what my mind thinks!

- I'm looking for a job and I can't even talk on the phone, I sound like a stuttering, mumbling weirdo as opposed to when I was fluent and awesome in college.
- I try to talk to people and I have the hardest time. Usually the first impression, no, make that 100% of the time, the first impression people get of me is that I'm a weirdo because I can't even make myself say "Hello", I say "H.. hurgh.. uh-t-t-t-t, he.. hello" because I am not in the moment and I am consciously trying to make my mouth and voice say something as opposed to normal people, from whom it just flows out.

What's that all about?! It's weird!

What is wrong with me?! I'm worried. I've talked about this with a socially isolated friend of mine and she told me she can relate to what I'm experiencing because she's experiencing it too: i.e., (temporary) speech handicap.

Apparently this is a symptom that develops when you have been isolated from people for an extended period of time (in my case, since 2008).
It's not fully true though, I just graduated and I've been in college for years, interacting with others sometimes. However, that wasn't enough interaction for me to stay normal.

Why is this happening to me? Has anyone had this or heard about this before?

Thanks.

This has probably nothing to do with it, but during karate practice I've been brutally kicked in my throat (straight backwards kick) because I didn't have my defense up. I choked for 10 minutes and afterwards I had to go to the hospital, where they said that part of my throat is damaged up to a point where I can't utter high notes anymore (I can't, even if I tried). The cure is therapy but I have never been to the therapist my doctor appointed. (1)

Anxiety? Yes, my dyspraxia particularly occurs when I have anxiety (e.g. not knowing what to say on the phone, or being nervous, or having to think of things). (2) I have a mild form (I don't know if it's mild) of social anxiety. Allow me to describe it for you:
- whenever I see people, I tend to walk away from them, take serious distance and at the same time freeze. My friend remarked me on that.
- whenever I see people, my heart starts beating really fast from nervousness and my muscles get tense. For fear of social rejection, I reject them first. (3)

The weirdest part is that when I feel at ease, I don't have dyspraxia symtpoms. Put me next to a good, trusted friend and I will flow like a waterfall. Put me next to a stranger and I will talk as if someone is choking me. Man... (4)

Coordination wise.. hm.. I am a terrible multi/switch tasker. Because in males the cortext is too thin, it doesn't allow for them to properly switchtask (read: this is not multitasking). There is a TED talk on that, where Sir Ken Robinson tells the public about: "When my wife comes home, I yell at her: honey, I'm trying to bake an egg in here!!", i.e. men can only do things properly if they are focused on one single thing. (5)
It's not exclusive, though, and I am very good at gaming (eye-hand coordination). I've become better at eye/limb coordination thanks to mixed martial arts, but I am still a slowass sometimes (my peers tell me this, and so does my sensei). They keep telling me: "Stop thinking so much, just act". Watching me do martial arts is like watching Socrates try to do that (i.e. he keeps pondering what to do before doing it). Sparring is not my thing (yet). (6)

There you have it. I hope that was useful information.

If it is more recent it may be that it is not Dyspraxia. Dyspraxia or simmilar Dis-es would be somethinyou had as a child and even if you didn't notice it then (it's very common not to know during childhood) you would probably realise if you thought back that you had some of the signs. It may be more likely in your case that you have a condition such as a vitamin deficiency that is recently occuring and is affecting how well you can use your brain. There are a lot of conditions that can give you a foggy head, poor concentration or simmilar symptoms to various types of special needs or learning disabilities.

It could also be that you have a mental health issue such as anxiety or something a bit more complicated that is presenting in an unusual way. You may not feel anxious at specific times, but instead have noticed a general trend. This could be worth considering too.

Whatever the case the person to see is your doctor. They can ask you some questions and maybe run some tests and work out the most likely cause. If they think it is a physical condition they will likely run some blood or other tests to find out what and then give you some sort of treatment like tablets (often short-term). If they think it is mental health related they may refer you to a psychiatrist or offer you advice and treatment (usually therapy) themselves. If they think it could be a learning disability they will probably refer you to an educational psychiatrist, but may diagnose you themselves or suggest that a diagnosis is not necessary and just offer you advice (if you want to push for an actual diagnosis you can).

You certinally do sound like you have some of the symptoms of dyspraxia or simmilar conditions and whatever it is is clearly bothering you so I would suggest you make an appointment to see your doctor as soon as you can. In the meantime you can do a bit of reading up on possibilities if you want (though it can just stress people out so you don't have to) and you can try to think about any other possible symptoms you may have. If you think it could be something LD related look back into childhood too and see if you could have had symptoms then.

Good luck

Yes, ever since I'm broke about two years ago, I've been eating like crap. We have basic meals here at home but I'm sure I'm lacking something because I know I'm missing out on certain vitamins. I've also been experiencing an increased lack of concentration and an ADD-like behavior, which I've never had before because focusing is my strongest point.

I already went to my house doctor and he refuted (without proof or proper diagnosis) my every claim that I have some kind of a mental condition. He signed a note saying I'm a-ok. I'm kind of mad at him for that.
During my previous visit a few months ago, he claimed I had certain health problems and now when I recalled them during this visit, he told me he didn't even know of them, while he actually logs and takes notes of every visit.
As well, I once had to point to my medical file on the screen because he just wasn't paying attention or caring to what I was saying. He's brushed off every concern I've ever had. For example, one of my organs was feeling strange and he just felt it and said: "Well, it's not swollen, so you're fine". What in the world is that of a crappy diagnose? What is that all about?

Sounds like in your case a deficiency or other "physical" issue could likely be the case.
It sounds like you have some issues with your current doctor so it may be worth trying to talk to a different one and discuss how you are feeling unfocused and distractable, mentally impared (unable to form words properly or easily etc) and believe that your diet may be a trigger. Have you also been feeling tired, fogg headed, irritable, stressed, depressed? This sort of thing sounds a lot like vitamin deficiencies so i'd suggest you mention it if the doctor doesn't.

Some simple bloodtests should confirm or disprove a vitamin deficiency and from there you can either adapt your diet or take suppliments. If you do not have a deficiency you have more options to look at, but I would personally focus on the vitamin deficiencies for now and not worry about anything else.

Lately, I can't get myself to properly converse with people or articulate anymore. I have the perfect statement to say in my head, sound and correct, but when I want to say it, either nothing comes out or I blurt out gibberish.
It's like my mind wants to say something but my mouth muscles refuse to. It's like I lose what I wanted to say and instead I try to make up for that on the fly and then gibberish comes out. I can't even make my lips say what my mind thinks!

- I'm looking for a job and I can't even talk on the phone, I sound like a stuttering, mumbling weirdo as opposed to when I was fluent and awesome in college.
- I try to talk to people and I have the hardest time. Usually the first impression, no, make that 100% of the time, the first impression people get of me is that I'm a weirdo because I can't even make myself say "Hello", I say "H.. hurgh.. uh-t-t-t-t, he.. hello" because I am not in the moment and I am consciously trying to make my mouth and voice say something as opposed to normal people, from whom it just flows out.

What's that all about?! It's weird!

What is wrong with me?! I'm worried. I've talked about this with a socially isolated friend of mine and she told me she can relate to what I'm experiencing because she's experiencing it too: i.e., (temporary) speech handicap.

Apparently this is a symptom that develops when you have been isolated from people for an extended period of time (in my case, since 2008).
It's not fully true though, I just graduated and I've been in college for years, interacting with others sometimes. However, that wasn't enough interaction for me to stay normal.

Why is this happening to me? Has anyone had this or heard about this before?

Thanks.

This has probably nothing to do with it, but during karate practice I've been brutally kicked in my throat (straight backwards kick) because I didn't have my defense up. I choked for 10 minutes and afterwards I had to go to the hospital, where they said that part of my throat is damaged up to a point where I can't utter high notes anymore (I can't, even if I tried). The cure is therapy but I have never been to the therapist my doctor appointed.

Anxiety? Yes, my dyspraxia particularly occurs when I have anxiety (e.g. not knowing what to say on the phone, or being nervous, or having to think of things). I have a mild form (I don't know if it's mild) of social anxiety. Allow me to describe it for you:
- whenever I see people, I tend to walk away from them, take serious distance and at the same time freeze. My friend remarked me on that.
- whenever I see people, my heart starts beating really fast from nervousness and my muscles get tense. For fear of social rejection, I reject them first.



The weirdest part is that when I feel at ease, I don't have dyspraxia symtpoms. Put me next to a good, trusted friend and I will flow like a waterfall. Put me next to a stranger and I will talk as if someone is choking me. Man...

Coordination wise.. hm.. I am a terrible multi/switch tasker. Because in males the cortext is too thin, it doesn't allow for them to properly switchtask (read: this is not multitasking). There is a TED talk on that, where Sir Ken Robinson tells the public about: "When my wife comes home, I yell at her: honey, I'm trying to bake an egg in here!!", i.e. men can only do things properly if they are focused on one single thing.
It's not exclusive, though, and I am very good at gaming (eye-hand coordination). I've become better at eye/limb coordination thanks to mixed martial arts, but I am still a slowass sometimes (my peers tell me this, and so does my sensei). They keep telling me: "Stop thinking so much, just act". Watching me do martial arts is like watching Socrates try to do that (i.e. he keeps pondering what to do before doing it). Sparring is not my thing (yet).

There you have it. I hope that was useful information.

Have you also been feeling tired, fogg headed, irritable, stressed, depressed?

Yes, all four things to a high extent. I have been suffering from chronic fatigue for no good reason (well, maybe that I haven't exercised in years because again, I'm broke and I don't have money for food or gym).

I used to be the most brilliant kid in the class and now I've been feeling fog headed, especially during reviewing my material (I just graduated, so all those study years have been a tremendous stress on me, to the point I had given up my social life).

I am constantly irritated and everything irritates me, people, situations, lack of self-control, everything.

I am constantly stressed because my family expects me to get a high paying job now that I graduated, but since I don't feel ready (and I'm not ready, really. I need a few months of studying once more, which I'm going to do) I can't do that yet. There's all kinds of pressure coming in from my family. You must be excellent! You must be at least as good as others! Sigh.

I also have no girlfriend so that makes me somewhat depressed.

All these things amount to me being depressed most of the time. I get up, I can't eat what I want, I can't do what I want. It's all: compulsory, compulsory, you must achieve. Time, stress.

I know this is pretty much the least comforting advice ever, but this is only temporary. There is a lot of change and pressure after leaving uni cos you've suddenly been thrown into adult indipendance, but you will get there. I think you may find that if you see a therapist and get some support for how low you are feeling you are more able to have an impact on your own life and lead to some positive change. It's verry easy to get trapped in a spiral if you've got poor mental health.
Having a gf is not everything, although I can see why you would want that support and company. You will meet the right girl sooner or later and suddenly all this struggling will be worth it cos it lead to to the right prson. Unfortionately until then you have to hold tight and wait with the faith that things will improve.

You can still exercise and eat well to some extent on a low budget and it might help you to look up some advice on cooking to a low budget or free exercise. I know it's not the situation you want to be in, but it is possible.

I think you have quite a bit to discuss with a doctor and wouldn't want to rush things. You may want to consider asking for a double appointment so yo can cover everything properly. I would also suggest you write everything you want to discuss down. You're likely to forget something once you get in there, trust me.

There is a lot of hope fore you, but at the moment you just can't really see it. Depression and messy headedness hides all potential from you so all you can see is the bad in your situation. There is good too though and you will reach it. I hope you are able to see that good soon and it will give you some more strength to push through and reach the better life that is on the other side.

And by the way, don't be pressured into getting a "graduate job" right away. Any job that earns you enough is good and will help you while you look for something better. It's not actually that common to go straight into the best jobs cos they all want some sort of experience or you just aren't going to find them at the right time. It's not just you- it's basically everybody so don't feel like it's some failing of yours.