Turn on thread page Beta

He says I'm perfect whilst breaking up with me watch

    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    I'm going to make this quick because no-one likes reading paragraphs after paragraphs.

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 weeks ago and his reasons at first were:
    "its just not going to work out and it will be easier breaking up now rather than later when we like each-other more" later on he said "hes lost interest in me because we are long distance" then I went on to ask him for a little bit of feedback so I could learn from the experience and gain a little more clarity because I was really hurt by his words. He went on to say how he thinks I'm perfect and I'm everything he could ask for in a girl, and he would pursue a relationship if we didn't live so far away from eachother.

    The reason he doesn't think its going to work out is probably because we live far away but I don't know.

    I'm still confused about what he has said, he went from saying its because we cant work out, to I'm not interested, to its the distance.. Can anyone help me understand this confusing guy. I don't want him back, and I want to stop talking to him, but understanding why hes said these things might help me move on.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    What's confusing? He says he really likes you as a person but the distance will strain the relationship, which is reasonable. LDR's can work out but they are more difficult than if you both live nearby.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JRKinder)
    What's confusing? He says he really likes you as a person but the distance will strain the relationship, which is reasonable. LDR's can work out but they are more difficult than if you both live nearby.
    He said he lost interest in me.. when the day before and leading up to this he was acting fine. His first excuse was that its not gonna work out and we are only going to like eachother more.. then he goes on to say he's lost interest. I don't know something just doesnt add up.

    I understand what you are saying about LDRs and agree, its just that what hes actually said doesnt add up
    Offline

    15
    ReputationRep:
    It means what he said it means, he doesn't like long distance and he doesn't think it will work out in the end (regardless of what he/you do or don't do), better to end it sooner rather than later.
    Offline

    18
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    He said he lost interest in me.. when the day before and leading up to this he was acting fine. His first excuse was that its not gonna work out and we are only going to like eachother more.. then he goes on to say he's lost interest. I don't know something just doesnt add up.

    I understand what you are saying about LDRs and agree, its just that what hes actually said doesnt add up
    Not going to work out is probably indirectly referring to the distance, and he'd rather end it now before you get closer. Saying he's lost interest is a bit odd I admit, but maybe to him it sounded better than simply saying it was due to distance?
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Cremated_Spatula)
    It means what he said it means, he doesn't like long distance and he doesn't think it will work out in the end (regardless of what he/you do or don't do), better to end it sooner rather than later.
    I also feel the same way - I don't think it will work out, (religion, LDR)
    I felt like this way before we broke up, but as soon as he said it I feel even more determined to be with him. Its odd because even though I felt similarly (sorta) I still feel really really hurt, especially at the interest comment.
    • TSR Support Team
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    TSR Support Team
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I also feel the same way - I don't think it will work out, (religion, LDR)
    I felt like this way before we broke up, but as soon as he said it I feel even more determined to be with him. Its odd because even though I felt similarly (sorta) I still feel really really hurt, especially at the interest comment.
    See when someone does this it would automatically think he has found someone else.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by Rock Fan)
    See when someone does this it would automatically think he has found someone else.
    because he said he lost interest?
    I spoke to one of our mutual friends about our break-up. His advice was that its obvious he wants to be with me but can't get his head round the LDR concept. It was hard for him to even begin the relationship cause he didn't want an LDR, but eventually he himself was like he wants to be with me.. I was obviously ecstatic. But for that issue to come up again...and to be the cause of the break up? idk.
    The friend also said the "lost interest" comment was probably to push me away and not true as it seems to contradict his first reason to break up.

    I don't know what to think of this, but obviously I want to believe the mutual friend as it spares my feelings but I want an unbiased opinion, hence why i posted on this site full of strangers lol
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm going to make this quick because no-one likes reading paragraphs after paragraphs.

    My boyfriend broke up with me about 4 weeks ago and his reasons at first were:
    "its just not going to work out and it will be easier breaking up now rather than later when we like each-other more" later on he said "hes lost interest in me because we are long distance" then I went on to ask him for a little bit of feedback so I could learn from the experience and gain a little more clarity because I was really hurt by his words. He went on to say how he thinks I'm perfect and I'm everything he could ask for in a girl, and he would pursue a relationship if we didn't live so far away from eachother.

    The reason he doesn't think its going to work out is probably because we live far away but I don't know.

    I'm still confused about what he has said, he went from saying its because we cant work out, to I'm not interested, to its the distance.. Can anyone help me understand this confusing guy. I don't want him back, and I want to stop talking to him, but understanding why hes said these things might help me move on.

    Boys speak a lot of rubbish.
    You werent perfect for him otherwise he wouldnt have split.
    You live too far away.
    Dont waste time overanalysing and think carefully about doing long distance again.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    Boys speak a lot of rubbish.
    You werent perfect for him otherwise he wouldnt have split.
    You live too far away.
    Dont waste time overanalysing and think carefully about doing long distance again.
    ok thank you for your advice.
    you're probably right.
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    ok thank you for your advice.
    you're probably right.
    The point is its quite common for boys (ir the person calling it off) not wanting to give a straight answer because, they might not want to hurt you or they dont like to face up to things. Hence they give you an answer that seems to be kind, but its because they feel they can avoid telling you the uncomfy truth. That leaves you being confused. Id take what boys tell you with a pinch of salt, stuff happens, Just learn from it and be a bit philosophical.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    The point is its quite common for boys (ir the person calling it off) not wanting to give a straight answer because, they might not want to hurt you or they dont like to face up to things. Hence they give you an answer that seems to be kind, but its because they feel they can avoid telling you the uncomfy truth. That leaves you being confused. Id take what boys tell you with a pinch of salt, stuff happens, Just learn from it and be a bit philosophical.
    I told him I just wanted him to tell me the truth. We weren't dating for that long but we were friends - that liked eachother for ages and I feel like he really should have told me the truth, opposed to three different things that have just left me confused and made it even harder to move on.
    • Very Important Poster
    Online

    19
    Very Important Poster
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I told him I just wanted him to tell me the truth. We weren't dating for that long but we were friends - that liked eachother for ages and I feel like he really should have told me the truth, opposed to three different things that have just left me confused and made it even harder to move on.
    The truth will be that he wasnt into you enough to wnat to do long distance.
    The use of perfect is just some way of attempting to sweeten the pill and a version its not you, but me( a talk you will hear a lot in future).

    There is no need to be confused by the above. Some people would prefer a bf/gf that is close by so they cna go out on dates and be with/ sleep with all the time rather thna having to wait till holidays etc. Juts get on with enjoying your life and you are more likely than not going to find someone else. Id probably cut him from social mediat etc for six months till you get yourself back on track.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by JRKinder)
    Not going to work out is probably indirectly referring to the distance, and he'd rather end it now before you get closer. Saying he's lost interest is a bit odd I admit, but maybe to him it sounded better than simply saying it was due to distance?
    yeah thats true, although it was him that wanted the relationship despite the distance to begin with!!
    I just dont understand guys
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    Whats the distance between you? I'll be honest if he had strong feelings for you he would not give you up and would want you both to work. It seems he was being polite to you saying how perfect you are. You know that saying 'its not you...its me' so when you let down someone you say sorry you are amazing and blah blah but dont think it will work. Dont think he wants to have a relationship and you have to accept that his feelings have changed.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by 999tigger)
    The truth will be that he wasnt into you enough to wnat to do long distance.
    The use of perfect is just some way of attempting to sweeten the pill and a version its not you, but me( a talk you will hear a lot in future).

    There is no need to be confused by the above. Some people would prefer a bf/gf that is close by so they cna go out on dates and be with/ sleep with all the time rather thna having to wait till holidays etc. Juts get on with enjoying your life and you are more likely than not going to find someone else. Id probably cut him from (your life) social mediat etc for six months till you get yourself back on track.
    good advice. **** him.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    (Original post by chikane)
    Whats the distance between you? I'll be honest if he had strong feelings for you he would not give you up and would want you both to work. It seems he was being polite to you saying how perfect you are. You know that saying 'its not you...its me' so when you let down someone you say sorry you are amazing and blah blah but dont think it will work. Dont think he wants to have a relationship and you have to accept that his feelings have changed.
    er london - newyork
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    I'm still confused about what he has said, he went from saying its because we cant work out, to I'm not interested, to its the distance..
    It can't WORK OUT because he's NOT INTERESTED of the DISTANCE.

    Honestly, what's so hard to understand? He straight up told you it's the distance so I don't know where you're going to find another answer.

    Honey, it's time to move on.




    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    16
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    er london - newyork
    Oh my god, is this some kind of online relationship?


    Posted from TSR Mobile
    Offline

    19
    ReputationRep:
    (Original post by Anonymous)
    er london - newyork
    Thought you both lived in the same country! just seems too much hassle especially when you are both in different countries and not able to see each other except on skype. If you were able to see him then you could convince him not to end things but as you arent you need to accept its over.
    The reason i say this is that i really liked a guy last year we worked together and he was sweet, kind but had personal issues so was quite closed off emotionally. Then we found out we were being made redundant and i tried speaking to him about not being able to see him (we were work friends not an item) now i look back and he unconvincingly said oh you will see me again. There was a strong connection between us and his father passed away 1 week before the company closed so we didnt see each other again and we lost contact.

    I texted him few months later telling him how i missed him and want to keep in touch and his reply was that it was nice to work with me it was polite but he dodged what i said i knew he liked me but he wasnt in a good place and he worked/lived in another town now which was 40 mins away.
    I knew if we regularly saw each other it might have worked but i knew there was nothing i could say i let him go as as it was useless.

    You need to accept he made his mind up and you can't really be angry at him as LDR is tough i would not want to be in one but if i was and loved the person i would live with them only if they were in same country.
 
 
 
Reply
Submit reply
Turn on thread page Beta
TSR Support Team

We have a brilliant team of more than 60 Support Team members looking after discussions on The Student Room, helping to make it a fun, safe and useful place to hang out.

Updated: October 29, 2016
The home of Results and Clearing

3,399

people online now

1,567,000

students helped last year
Poll
A-level students - how do you feel about your results?

The Student Room, Get Revising and Marked by Teachers are trading names of The Student Room Group Ltd.

Register Number: 04666380 (England and Wales), VAT No. 806 8067 22 Registered Office: International House, Queens Road, Brighton, BN1 3XE

Write a reply...
Reply
Hide
Reputation gems: You get these gems as you gain rep from other members for making good contributions and giving helpful advice.