We already planned the meet up and only now he told me he doesn't look like his pics

I've been talking with this guy. I exclusively like guys with long hair, like it's genuinely the only requirement that I have beside someone who has same interests as me. So I will say I'm not asking for a lot
I found a guy who's 100% my type, music, hair and all. He's so sweet and he got so excited when I messaged him. We've been planning to meet and it was all set and ONLY NOW he tells me he doesn't have his hair anymore because he had to cut it for his job
Don't laugh at me but I literally just cried a little because it would have been perfect for real and now it's basically nothing and I have no idea what to say. I'm just not attracted to guys with short hair at all. I love his personality because we're literally the same but I can't. I don't know what to do. He said he wants to grow it again but... I even stated in my bio I like guys with long hair and he only tells me now when I already thought about all the things we're gonna do like I was gonna sleep at his house

Like he basically perceived me but he was probably happy I messaged him so he didn't have a bad intent. But still why didn't he tell me now he just got both out hopes up. I feel horrible if I cancel now. Help me please?

Reply 1

Anonymous #1

OP

On a dating app btw

Reply 2

black tea

19

It is hair. It will grow back.

Reply 3

Anonymous #2

If everything else is positive you shouldn't let something like the length of his hair determine whether or not you go for it.. Hang out with him, see how things go and make your judgment on how thing feel instead of the length of his hair. :smile:

It could become a non-issue when you get to know him better!

Reply 4

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

It's an unusual dealbreaker but that is your perogative even if he otherwise ticks your boxes.

Have you actually asked him whether he's growing it back?

Reply 5

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Admit-One

It's an unusual dealbreaker but that is your perogative even if he otherwise ticks your boxes.

Have you actually asked him whether he's growing it back?

Yes I have a very specific type in guys I guess, he said he wants to grow it back when he gets a new job but it takes forever to grow

Reply 6

Admit-One

Universities Forum Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I have a very specific type in guys I guess, he said he wants to grow it back when he gets a new job but it takes forever to grow

Well then you've got to decide whether it's worth calling it off with someone who otherwise "would have been perfect".

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Anonymous

If everything else is positive you shouldn't let something like the length of his hair determine whether or not you go for it.. Hang out with him, see how things go and make your judgment on how thing feel instead of the length of his hair. :smile:

It could become a non-issue when you get to know him better!

Yes I definitely want to hang out with him. I'm just very unsure if I'll be attracted to him right now. If I'll still sleep at his house which I very likely have to because he lives kinda far away he's definitely gonna think that I want him like that? He told me from the start he's been let down in the past as well and is lonely so don't want to be a horrible person and break him or something

Reply 8

StriderHort

21

So how would this demand work long term? does he just get dumped if he changes it? It's not really fair to expect someone never to change their look for your sake.

Reply 9

Anonymous #2

Original post by Anonymous

Yes I definitely want to hang out with him. I'm just very unsure if I'll be attracted to him right now. If I'll still sleep at his house which I very likely have to because he lives kinda far away he's definitely gonna think that I want him like that? He told me from the start he's been let down in the past as well and is lonely so don't want to be a horrible person and break him or something

This is where it's important to clearly communicate intentions and boundaries.. Are you comfortable staying at his place? Are there alternatives that you could pursue if not? Could you meet halfway or at a more convenient location? Have you told him what your boundaries are if you were to stay at his place? You have to be on the same page for this kind of thing regardless of how long his hair is. Communication is SO important especially if there's some sort of distance there... And I think communicating all of this is far more important than the length of his hair!!