Long-Distance Relationships...

Because I was 18, naive and made a mistake. It's all experience though, isn't it? I certainly won't be making the same mistake again.

Well, obviously, examples like the one you're giving are a different kettle of fish altogether, but I was just basing my thoughts on the assumption that the OP only lives 100 miles from her potential partner, and am assuming that there will be no such complications come graduation. In my own personal situation, I'm under the impression that the girl in question will still wish to live in the UK once she graduates, as do I. So such extremely difficult decisions as the ones you give as examples will not be anywhere near as difficult.

At least you have the courage to say that you made a mistake Unlike these rose-tinted peeps

Because I was 18, naive and made a mistake. It's all experience though, isn't it? I certainly won't be making the same mistake again.

But it still has the potential to be a total bitch. What if one of you gets an amazing job offer in Newcastle whilst the other has to stay in Exeter because it's the only job available?

I'm certainly not trying to put people off LDRs here, I'm simply demonstrating some of the difficulties that might face people. It'd take some very, very serious commitment to overcome things like that so if you think you're that in love and meant to be, then go for it.

Edit: and thanks Tufts for the rep

I don't see how it was a mistake if you stayed with the person for three years.. And if so, it could have been a mistake even if the relationship wasn't long distance..

I can understand the examples you're giving, and once again, I'm not suggesting that an LDR wouldn't be difficult. But I still believe in my heart that if something feels right they should go for it and see what happens.

You say that you were 18, naive and made a mistake. But though you may regret the relationship, do you regret trying it? At least you can say "I tried it, and it wasn't for me" rather than just dismissing it instantly without giving it a go first.

TSR in general seems to have a lot more people in successful LDRs than I have seen in real life, I think it skews things slightly.

I always said I'd never do it, but then I ended up in one, so my perspective changed. Thankfully I have a car and it takes less than 2 hours to travel between our homes, so we can see each other nearly every weekend. Much more than that and I'm not sure I'd like it at all. We've never actually lived in close proximity to each other but I like to think we've built a strong relationship - and when I finish uni, assuming things are still good, we will be seriously looking at finding some way of being together properly.

In the OP's situation, I wouldn't get your hopes up, as it's still very much in the early stages and at your age most relationships, long-distance or not, are unlikely to work out.

How often have you been together Helen? How do you cope with the nights when you're alone?

Sorry for seeming nosey, I just need reassurance that someone agrees with me that LDRs can work if the desire's there.

I agree, because if not I'd be suggesting that my relationship is dead and pointless. Which it isn't. It'd harder than the norm, but I can't help who I fall for.

How often have you been together Helen? How do you cope with the nights when you're alone?

Sorry for seeming nosey, I just need reassurance that someone agrees with me that LDRs can work if the desire's there.

That's the way I see it too. If you have feelings for someone, I don't see why you should block them out just because of a temporary problem.

Just over 6 months. As for nights alone, if you look at my post in that "Can't sleep without my boyfriend" thread - you'll see it's not too much of a problem. Even when I was with my ex who lived 5 minutes walk from me, we never spent more than half our nights together because neither of us slept well enough. I do miss my current boyfriend lots, obviously, but I try not to let it interfere with my life, and we see each other often enough that most of the time it doesn't get really bad.

I think (clearly!) that sometimes they can work. But I also think they're bloody hard work and it takes more than just desire. Even with as many forms of communication as you can think of, at the end of the day, you still can't have a hug.

I'm curious here, if you're not with this girl yet but are quite sure it'd be a possibility in a year or two, why not just wait until then? If it is love, your feelings won't go away. If it were me I'd wait until I could really go for it properly and do the whole 'normal couple' thing.

See, I'd be perfectly happy to wait until then if she was. I'd wait forever for her if I needed to, I want her that much. But the problem is, she's a very funny, beautiful and intelligent young women and I seriously doubt she'd still be single in two years' time.

If she loves you as much as you love her, then that won't be an issue. If it is... then I'd really have to question how she feels about you in the first place.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but maybe it's something you need to think about?

Aye, I understand.

But would you certainly recommend giving it a go?