A girl and I had a bad falling out a month and a half ago and she is acting weird.
There is a lot of background for this one, don't be afraid to take notes!
Background
We were close friends and she knew that I liked her a lot and I told her that I wanted to be friends (I just enjoyed being around her and that turned into the feelings I have now). She and I had a bit of banter about it, some teasing but nothing much. She slapped my ass once but yeah, not much else.
She broke up with her ex over the summer and got with a new guy before I told her. Her ex had given me **** about her before because we were close.
Last month, a guy (still don't know who) set up a fake snapchat account of her boyfriend and began sending me photos of her to me from her Facebook. I told her thinking it was her boyfriend.
We figured out within minutes that it wasn't him and she began to ask if it was just me messing. She asked me to text the account and I asked her to do the same.
Then it turned out that one of the photos that was sent to me was sent before she put it up on Facebook. I remember that photo being somewhere before it was sent to me. She was adamant that it wasn't and that I was lying.
I got annoyed and told her to tell me to move on from her as "nothing was going to happen between us anyway" and she said that "isn't really on topic."
I said it was for me to move on from her and she "didn't know what to say." I asked her to "honestly say what she thought of me, I feel terrible for dragging this **** out for so long and I just feel depressed about the whole thing."
She said that I was a friend and there was no need to feel depressed, she then continued to blame me, I blamed her to try to get back as I was pissed. I then said that we should go our separate ways and that I hoped she was happy.
I then sent her the screenshot with the time stamp and she still "wasn't convinced."
We completely ignored eachother for the next few days and I took a few days off as it affected me so badly. I told my parents and they said to leave it until anything else happened.
That weekend, the fake account texted me back, "Why'd you have to tell her it was all fun and games [school nickname]."
I got my parents and I texted the girl again, she gave me "one last chance" to admit to doing it and she could "understand why" and that she "told [her] mum and is going to the police and if it's [me] I'd rather you don't get into trouble over all of it so can you just tell me now? I won't be angry"
I told her that I told my parents too and they were willing to talk to her parents and the school about it. She asked "why the school" and I said that "we are both students and the other person is clearly in the school" she then went back to blaming me.
My parents and I tried to arrange a call but she kept side stepping that. We realized that she probably hadn't told her parents.
I gave my mum's number. Her mum "didn't want to talk tonight" and I said that "it can happen tomorrow at 5 when my mum is free then." She tried to get me to admit to it again and to delete the account.
I said that we would have to go to the school if her mum didn't call.
About 30 minutes later (enough time to explain), she called and her mum basically kept blaming me. A meeting was arranged but my mum didn't want to do it so we called the school the next day.
The principal came to my house and I told him everything. He called the other family and got that side sorted out. I talked to the senior school head (so did the girl) and they were fantastic. They asked me to compile screenshots and anything else that was sent. I also told the school about prank calls I had gotten pretending to be the girl's ex and they relayed that and the screenshots to the family.
It went from hostile ignoring to awkward ignoring. We gave eachother space.
They coincided the last meeting with before half term. It was the principal, senior school head, myself and my mum.
They had also talked to the other family and got all of the really ugly bits sorted out between us without us being in the same room.
Police got involved but couldn't do anything due to it being Snapchat.
She blocked me on social media, I only noticed as I was about to do the same. It was the day of the last meeting and it was weird that she even still had me.
We didn't see eachother over half term and when we got back, it was really awkward but we politely ignored eachother. The senior school head has checked in on me a few times and still does.
Her weird behavior
So, about a week after getting back, I notice her looking at me. She was full on staring and looking really sad, I look at her and she looks away.
She continues to randomly look at me over the next few weeks. Sometimes just an eye flick, other times a full on stare. She sometimes looks depressed, sometimes smiles and other times regretful. When she walks into a room, she flicks her eyes towards me. When she walks past me, looks at me out of the sides of her eyes and down.
I remember a few times quite vividly.
* talking to a friend in class and she glanced at me, looking concerned.
*Sitting and waiting for class and I look up and she is looking regretful while looking at me.
*I was walking into a classroom and I looked over my shoulder to see her staring at me frowning sadly.
Those are only a few examples, if she walks past me, she looks down and towards me pretty much every time or looks straight ahead.
We would also sometimes randomly make eye contact but one of us would break it off. I also stopped to let her and a friend through a door first and she tried to say thanks but it came out a squeak and she didn't know where to put her hands.
She also flicks her hair an awful lot or rubs her legs or something when I'm around.
I began to think that she thought I hated her so I decided to break the ice (We hadn't spoken in a month). Luckily, this week it was announced that she was given an art prize. I just had to say well done.
By chance, when me and my friend got to English that day, the only 2 seats were beside the girl and her friend. I sat beside the girl and said nothing to her until the end of class until I said "well done for the art" casually.
She literally froze, looked away, composed herself and turned, looked me in the eyes and said "thank you" after a few seconds. She said it quietly and softly in a low tone if that makes sense.
From then on, she looked at me with regret and I have noticed her looking at me out of the corner of her eyes while looking at my chest.
Her friends have also been a bit weird. They were cold back when it was happening but they smile at me again now. They kept smiling at me when she got the award presented to her. Some of her friends avoid me too. It's weird. The whole thing is.
If you have any questions, just ask. It's a bad summary for what it is but it has all the base facts.
Background
We were close friends and she knew that I liked her a lot and I told her that I wanted to be friends (I just enjoyed being around her and that turned into the feelings I have now). She and I had a bit of banter about it, some teasing but nothing much. She slapped my ass once but yeah, not much else.
She broke up with her ex over the summer and got with a new guy before I told her. Her ex had given me **** about her before because we were close.
Last month, a guy (still don't know who) set up a fake snapchat account of her boyfriend and began sending me photos of her to me from her Facebook. I told her thinking it was her boyfriend.
We figured out within minutes that it wasn't him and she began to ask if it was just me messing. She asked me to text the account and I asked her to do the same.
Then it turned out that one of the photos that was sent to me was sent before she put it up on Facebook. I remember that photo being somewhere before it was sent to me. She was adamant that it wasn't and that I was lying.
I got annoyed and told her to tell me to move on from her as "nothing was going to happen between us anyway" and she said that "isn't really on topic."
I said it was for me to move on from her and she "didn't know what to say." I asked her to "honestly say what she thought of me, I feel terrible for dragging this **** out for so long and I just feel depressed about the whole thing."
She said that I was a friend and there was no need to feel depressed, she then continued to blame me, I blamed her to try to get back as I was pissed. I then said that we should go our separate ways and that I hoped she was happy.
I then sent her the screenshot with the time stamp and she still "wasn't convinced."
We completely ignored eachother for the next few days and I took a few days off as it affected me so badly. I told my parents and they said to leave it until anything else happened.
That weekend, the fake account texted me back, "Why'd you have to tell her it was all fun and games [school nickname]."
I got my parents and I texted the girl again, she gave me "one last chance" to admit to doing it and she could "understand why" and that she "told [her] mum and is going to the police and if it's [me] I'd rather you don't get into trouble over all of it so can you just tell me now? I won't be angry"
I told her that I told my parents too and they were willing to talk to her parents and the school about it. She asked "why the school" and I said that "we are both students and the other person is clearly in the school" she then went back to blaming me.
My parents and I tried to arrange a call but she kept side stepping that. We realized that she probably hadn't told her parents.
I gave my mum's number. Her mum "didn't want to talk tonight" and I said that "it can happen tomorrow at 5 when my mum is free then." She tried to get me to admit to it again and to delete the account.
I said that we would have to go to the school if her mum didn't call.
About 30 minutes later (enough time to explain), she called and her mum basically kept blaming me. A meeting was arranged but my mum didn't want to do it so we called the school the next day.
The principal came to my house and I told him everything. He called the other family and got that side sorted out. I talked to the senior school head (so did the girl) and they were fantastic. They asked me to compile screenshots and anything else that was sent. I also told the school about prank calls I had gotten pretending to be the girl's ex and they relayed that and the screenshots to the family.
It went from hostile ignoring to awkward ignoring. We gave eachother space.
They coincided the last meeting with before half term. It was the principal, senior school head, myself and my mum.
They had also talked to the other family and got all of the really ugly bits sorted out between us without us being in the same room.
Police got involved but couldn't do anything due to it being Snapchat.
She blocked me on social media, I only noticed as I was about to do the same. It was the day of the last meeting and it was weird that she even still had me.
We didn't see eachother over half term and when we got back, it was really awkward but we politely ignored eachother. The senior school head has checked in on me a few times and still does.
Her weird behavior
So, about a week after getting back, I notice her looking at me. She was full on staring and looking really sad, I look at her and she looks away.
She continues to randomly look at me over the next few weeks. Sometimes just an eye flick, other times a full on stare. She sometimes looks depressed, sometimes smiles and other times regretful. When she walks into a room, she flicks her eyes towards me. When she walks past me, looks at me out of the sides of her eyes and down.
I remember a few times quite vividly.
* talking to a friend in class and she glanced at me, looking concerned.
*Sitting and waiting for class and I look up and she is looking regretful while looking at me.
*I was walking into a classroom and I looked over my shoulder to see her staring at me frowning sadly.
Those are only a few examples, if she walks past me, she looks down and towards me pretty much every time or looks straight ahead.
We would also sometimes randomly make eye contact but one of us would break it off. I also stopped to let her and a friend through a door first and she tried to say thanks but it came out a squeak and she didn't know where to put her hands.
She also flicks her hair an awful lot or rubs her legs or something when I'm around.
I began to think that she thought I hated her so I decided to break the ice (We hadn't spoken in a month). Luckily, this week it was announced that she was given an art prize. I just had to say well done.
By chance, when me and my friend got to English that day, the only 2 seats were beside the girl and her friend. I sat beside the girl and said nothing to her until the end of class until I said "well done for the art" casually.
She literally froze, looked away, composed herself and turned, looked me in the eyes and said "thank you" after a few seconds. She said it quietly and softly in a low tone if that makes sense.
From then on, she looked at me with regret and I have noticed her looking at me out of the corner of her eyes while looking at my chest.
Her friends have also been a bit weird. They were cold back when it was happening but they smile at me again now. They kept smiling at me when she got the award presented to her. Some of her friends avoid me too. It's weird. The whole thing is.
If you have any questions, just ask. It's a bad summary for what it is but it has all the base facts.
Scroll to see replies
Nothing weird here. I had a 99% similar thing happen to me back in year 10 but that was a long time ago. All I can tell from reading this is that she has realised she was in the wrong and is embarrassed about the whole thing? Maybe she would like to talk to you but because you ended on bad terms, she is reluctant. Just act casual and ignore her if you want to move on but if you like her still then talk to her and explain yourself.
It sounds like she might feel a lot has happened and she feels awkward. She blamed you for the situation before she realised the truth, and she isn't sure how to approach you as a friend anymore. You haven't talked to her properly apart from the casual congratulation for the art prize.
If you want to remain friends with her, why not sit her down for a proper talk to clear the air and start refresh, reassure her that you don't hate her.
If you want to remain friends with her, why not sit her down for a proper talk to clear the air and start refresh, reassure her that you don't hate her.
Original post by y.u.mad.bro?
Nothing weird here. I had a 99% similar thing happen to me back in year 10 but that was a long time ago. All I can tell from reading this is that she has realised she was in the wrong and is embarrassed about the whole thing? Maybe she would like to talk to you but because you ended on bad terms, she is reluctant. Just act casual and ignore her if you want to move on but if you like her still then talk to her and explain yourself.
Thanks for the reply! I just find it weird that she is looking at me a lot but is really shy to show any feelings. I don't think she wants to talk about it again yet.
The reason why I said well done was to pretend as if nothing happened and she didn't expect it at all. She actually froze for about 5 seconds before saying thank you sincerely. Maybe she thought I hated her?
The school has offered mediation for the two of us, I have said yes but she doesn't want it at the minute.
The weird thing is just that she is giving me mixed signals, sometimes smiles at me when she thinks I can't see, looks at me out of the corner of her eye (most common), full on stares while looking depressed.
Maybe I’m being super extra but she could have been behind the account?
Original post by cheesecakelove
It sounds like she might feel a lot has happened and she feels awkward. She blamed you for the situation before she realised the truth, and she isn't sure how to approach you as a friend anymore. You haven't talked to her properly apart from the casual congratulation for the art prize.
If you want to remain friends with her, why not sit her down for a proper talk to clear the air and start refresh, reassure her that you don't hate her.
If you want to remain friends with her, why not sit her down for a proper talk to clear the air and start refresh, reassure her that you don't hate her.
The school has offered a mediation but she doesn't want it at the minute (the school said that it will happen after Christmas). I said well done as a way of saying that I don't hate her. She said thank you sincerely so that could also be a good sign? She seems too awkward to talk atm.
Original post by Anonymous
Maybe I’m being super extra but she could have been behind the account?
She was as badly affected as me by this, don't go there.
Original post by Anonymous
The school has offered a mediation but she doesn't want it at the minute (the school said that it will happen after Christmas). I said well done as a way of saying that I don't hate her. She said thank you sincerely so that could also be a good sign? She seems too awkward to talk atm.
Maybe just give her time. It might be that she doesn't know how to deal with what happened, and it is something that she is trying to figure out. I think that the fact that she is talking to you is a good sign.
Original post by cheesecakelove
Maybe just give her time. It might be that she doesn't know how to deal with what happened, and it is something that she is trying to figure out. I think that the fact that she is talking to you is a good sign.
Wasn't really much of a talk, it was over in 10 seconds.
She didn't want to talk about her feelings for me when it was happening and they way her friends act seem to indicate there could be something else going on there too.
Original post by ANM775
by her body language it looks like she is regretful
tbh it should be her to be the one to make the first move though....
tbh it should be her to be the one to make the first move though....
First move is made, nothing can be done about it. She reacted to it well given that we had not spoken in over a month.
This sounds stupid but could she of had feelings for me? She danced around the topic and she is acting really shy again. Her friends keep smiling at me so they don't hate me. Sometimes they're a bit awkward too though.
What makes me think that is the hair flicking, looking at me a lot and the side of the eyes thing.
Original post by Anonymous
First move is made, nothing can be done about it. She reacted to it well given that we had not spoken in over a month.
This sounds stupid but could she of had feelings for me? She danced around the topic and she is acting really shy again. Her friends keep smiling at me so they don't hate me. Sometimes they're a bit awkward too though.
What makes me think that is the hair flicking, looking at me a lot and the side of the eyes thing.
This sounds stupid but could she of had feelings for me? She danced around the topic and she is acting really shy again. Her friends keep smiling at me so they don't hate me. Sometimes they're a bit awkward too though.
What makes me think that is the hair flicking, looking at me a lot and the side of the eyes thing.
I've no idea tbh
did she like you romantically before?
if not then I doubt she's suddenly developed romantic feelings for you over this
Original post by Anonymous
Thanks for the reply! I just find it weird that she is looking at me a lot but is really shy to show any feelings. I don't think she wants to talk about it again yet.
The reason why I said well done was to pretend as if nothing happened and she didn't expect it at all. She actually froze for about 5 seconds before saying thank you sincerely. Maybe she thought I hated her?
The school has offered mediation for the two of us, I have said yes but she doesn't want it at the minute.
The weird thing is just that she is giving me mixed signals, sometimes smiles at me when she thinks I can't see, looks at me out of the corner of her eye (most common), full on stares while looking depressed.
The reason why I said well done was to pretend as if nothing happened and she didn't expect it at all. She actually froze for about 5 seconds before saying thank you sincerely. Maybe she thought I hated her?
The school has offered mediation for the two of us, I have said yes but she doesn't want it at the minute.
The weird thing is just that she is giving me mixed signals, sometimes smiles at me when she thinks I can't see, looks at me out of the corner of her eye (most common), full on stares while looking depressed.
Honestly, the best thing would be to get some alone time with her and talk to her. That is the only way this will work out and from her perspective, she is quite regretful. If you like her and want her as your friend, talking is the only option otherwise it will be weird between you two and it isn't good for any of you. Even if she doesn't want to talk, just give her a quick message by letting her know how you feel and then walk off. It will give her the idea that you aren't going to be hostile towards her and then wait for her to respond because hopefully she should.
Original post by Anonymous
Wasn't really much of a talk, it was over in 10 seconds.
She didn't want to talk about her feelings for me when it was happening and they way her friends act seem to indicate there could be something else going on there too.
She didn't want to talk about her feelings for me when it was happening and they way her friends act seem to indicate there could be something else going on there too.
Like I said, you could ask her if she wanted to talk about something. If she says no, at least you know you tried. There isn't much more you can do after that.
Original post by ANM775
I've no idea tbh
did she like you romantically before?
if not then I doubt she's suddenly developed romantic feelings for you over this
did she like you romantically before?
if not then I doubt she's suddenly developed romantic feelings for you over this
We flirted a lot and got physical (slapped my ass, play shoves etc) while she was dating her ex which is why he lashed out at me a while back.
She went quiet with me then until they broke up and it kind of started back a few weeks before the account was set up. Her friends also teased me about her, so yeah. She did have some form of romantic feeling for me.
Original post by y.u.mad.bro?
Honestly, the best thing would be to get some alone time with her and talk to her. That is the only way this will work out and from her perspective, she is quite regretful. If you like her and want her as your friend, talking is the only option otherwise it will be weird between you two and it isn't good for any of you. Even if she doesn't want to talk, just give her a quick message by letting her know how you feel and then walk off. It will give her the idea that you aren't going to be hostile towards her and then wait for her to respond because hopefully she should.
School has offered mediation, I have said I'll do it and they said it will most likely happen in the new year.
She was told to block me according to a close mutual friend (I just asked 30 minutes ago when I ran into them because I was walking my dog) so I can't contact her outside school. She stays with her friends and hasn't been talking much to any guy since it happened.
I said well done as a way of saying that I didn't hate her. As I said before, she didn't expect this and said thank you really softly and in a low tone.
This is just such a mess
I found her spotify and the day of me telling her she made a playlist with loads of sad songs
I found her spotify and the day of me telling her she made a playlist with loads of sad songs, could that mean anything? (Diff account as I forgot details)
Original post by throwaway2000ep
I found her spotify and the day of me telling her she made a playlist with loads of sad songs, could that mean anything? (Diff account as I forgot details)
She may be sad that your friendship is over.
It will be very hard to come back from. She may not want to. She’s may not be allowed to.
You can be friendly towards her but don’t push it
Original post by Anonymous
School has offered mediation, I have said I'll do it and they said it will most likely happen in the new year.
She was told to block me according to a close mutual friend (I just asked 30 minutes ago when I ran into them because I was walking my dog) so I can't contact her outside school. She stays with her friends and hasn't been talking much to any guy since it happened.
I said well done as a way of saying that I didn't hate her. As I said before, she didn't expect this and said thank you really softly and in a low tone.
This is just such a mess
She was told to block me according to a close mutual friend (I just asked 30 minutes ago when I ran into them because I was walking my dog) so I can't contact her outside school. She stays with her friends and hasn't been talking much to any guy since it happened.
I said well done as a way of saying that I didn't hate her. As I said before, she didn't expect this and said thank you really softly and in a low tone.
This is just such a mess
Indeed, it is a mess so you have to be patient. I wouldn't trust anyone because you can try contacting her outside school if you like and she might agree to meet up or just as her if it's possible to talk in school even if her friends are here. Afterall, they wont bite will they? You won't solve anything by just sitting and watching what unfolds. Even though you said well done to her doesn't mean she knows that you do want to be friends with her.
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