I don't like my best friend anymore

We were best friends throughout school and that was great because we were growing up and going through things at the same time. When we started drinking and hanging out with boys she would kind of annoy me because she'd be really attention seeking and act ditsy.
Then when we both went off to uni, she would message me with all her gossip and cool stuff that she's been up to but then wouldn't say much when I'd tell her my stuff. Just a 'Haha omg' and then move conversation back to her.
She's changed quite a lot since uni and tries to be really edgy and uses lots of London slang and pretends she loves grime etc. When we talk, I feel like we don't have much to talk about anymore. The only time we have flowing conversation is when she's telling me about uni friends. In fact I know so much about her uni life I could probably write my dissertation on it.
She's done quite a few things in the past year that's shown me she isn't a true friend but I won't go into them all. But I basically feel like I'm only really her friend because I'm the only person who will listen and reply to all her stories with no judgement. I'm basically more of a therapist.
The thing is, if I'm not friends with her anymore then I won't really have any home friends.
I was also thinking that I'm not sure I really like any of my close friends 100%, they all do things that annoy me. But is this just normal? Should I just remain friends with her and hope things improve when we leave uni?

Reply 1

cheesecakelove

20

Friends grow apart as you get older. People are always changing, so it is normal to feel less close to some friends. Does she normally initiate conversation with you or make an effort for your friendship?

It is up to you if you want to stay friends or maintain some sort of line of communication, or if you want to end the friendship. I would concentrate on the present - try to meet more people and make new friends that suit your interests and personality.

Reply 2

m005eman

18

You don't have to be the closest friends, when you go back home, you'd likely meet up and catch up and stuff, its just life i guess, to move apart

Reply 3

smif_mister

3

This kinda happened with me and my bestfriend, after we had left school I continued with further education, found a job, had a boyfriend. i knew she always felt second best to my boyfriend but with him living over half an hour away and her 2 minutes down the road I would do anything to see him, in the end we'd both had enough and there was no bond between us anymore, everything we did annoyed each other so she sent me a message one day saying she didn't want to bestfriends anymore and that was that I didn't feel much saddness but relief actually, so I guess the point is, don't cling onto something that isnt there anymore. And with regards to your other friends annoying you, I think you need to over look that because if you get rid of everyone because some things they do annoy you, you'll have no one left, those little things that annoy you, one day you'll miss so just appreciate it x

Reply 4

-Eirlys-

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

21

Original post by Anonymous

We were best friends throughout school and that was great because we were growing up and going through things at the same time. When we started drinking and hanging out with boys she would kind of annoy me because she'd be really attention seeking and act ditsy.
Then when we both went off to uni, she would message me with all her gossip and cool stuff that she's been up to but then wouldn't say much when I'd tell her my stuff. Just a 'Haha omg' and then move conversation back to her.
She's changed quite a lot since uni and tries to be really edgy and uses lots of London slang and pretends she loves grime etc. When we talk, I feel like we don't have much to talk about anymore. The only time we have flowing conversation is when she's telling me about uni friends. In fact I know so much about her uni life I could probably write my dissertation on it.
She's done quite a few things in the past year that's shown me she isn't a true friend but I won't go into them all. But I basically feel like I'm only really her friend because I'm the only person who will listen and reply to all her stories with no judgement. I'm basically more of a therapist.
The thing is, if I'm not friends with her anymore then I won't really have any home friends.
I was also thinking that I'm not sure I really like any of my close friends 100%, they all do things that annoy me. But is this just normal? Should I just remain friends with her and hope things improve when we leave uni?

I had this dilemma. Childhood friend who's become self absorbed, only ever used me and spoke to me when she felt like it and showed numerous times that she had no respect or care for me so I've not spoken to her for more than a year and guess what? She's not reached out to me in all that time and I'm glad. I'm alone now, I've run out of friends but only because I've dropped them all after they showed their true colours. I'd rather be alone than be friends with fake people who only want to see you fall. She sounds like someone who doesn't deserve you as a friend or appreciate you. You're not alike any more so let her stay with her uni friends and you move onto your own life.

Reply 5

ParkHyungSuk

15

Original post by hannxm

I had this dilemma. Childhood friend who's become self absorbed, only ever used me and spoke to me when she felt like it and showed numerous times that she had no respect or care for me so I've not spoken to her for more than a year and guess what? She's not reached out to me in all that time and I'm glad. I'm alone now, I've run out of friends but only because I've dropped them all after they showed their true colours. I'd rather be alone than be friends with fake people who only want to see you fall. She sounds like someone who doesn't deserve you as a friend or appreciate you. You're not alike any more so let her stay with her uni friends and you move onto your own life.

Your profile picture is beautiful, did you draw it yourself?

Reply 6

sexyhotspice man

8

What does it mean pls?

Reply 7

Christopher9600

7

She sounds like one of those people who only care about themselves, she seeks approval from everyone. And grime is trash I'm still trying to figure out how people can pretend to enjoy listening to that crap. If anything grime should be accepted among brainless 13 year olds. I was walking down the street and heard a 23 year old listening to Mans not Hot and cringed my ass off.

Reply 8

Profesh

20

Original post by Anonymous

I was also thinking that I'm not sure I really like any of my close friends 100%, they all do things that annoy me. But is this just normal? Should I just remain friends with her and hope things improve when we leave uni?

Reply 9

username1884577

19

I'm not friends with any of my "best friends" from school or college. My best friend is actually someone who was in my year at school but we weren't by any means "best" friends at the time. My other friends are solely from university.

People change and grow apart. If she's toxic, get rid.

Reply 10

Anonymous #1

OP

In a way I was kind of hoping people would tell me I was in the wrong and being unreasonable or that we should still be friends because things can change. I don't think I'm ready to cut ties just yet but I think when we graduate this year and get jobs we will probably drift even more. Hopefully I will make some good friends at work. To be honest it kind of scares me to not have her as a close friend because we've been best friends for so many years. Other friends have come and gone in our circle but the two of us have always stayed strong. I guess I'll just have to go with the flow and not force things.

Reply 11

Lilsthebest

16

Original post by Christopher9600

She sounds like one of those people who only care about themselves, she seeks approval from everyone. And grime is trash I'm still trying to figure out how people can pretend to enjoy listening to that crap. If anything grime should be accepted among brainless 13 year olds. I was walking down the street and heard a 23 year old listening to Mans not Hot and cringed my ass off.

Reply 12

Nana_

12

Its hard to cut toxic people out of our life, even though they might be the longest and closest person we've known in our life. I can relate to what you're going through and will definitely advise you to stay away from your friend. I guess as time goes on, we mature and start seeing things differently. And if you have felt like you don't like her vibes, best to start walking away.

You could talk to her but will that really help mend a broken friendship? She sounds exactly like my ex-best friend who only ever cared for herself and didn't even have the respect to not flirt with my boyfriend(all 3 of them) lol. Your friend is one of those opportunistic people who only keep you in their circle incase they become lonely or need your help with anything financially/basically anything to only benefit themselves.

Drop her. :u:

Oh shhiiii

I agree, do cut out this friend.
But how do your other friends annoy you?

Reply 15

-Eirlys-

Debate & Current Affairs Helper

21

Original post by ParkHyungSuk

Your profile picture is beautiful, did you draw it yourself?

Thank you but no I did not.

Reply 16

FitzwilliamDarcy

5

Original post by Anonymous

In fact I know so much about her uni life I could probably write my dissertation on it.

Original post by Anonymous

I'm basically more of a therapist.

Best things I've heard all day lol

Reply 17

bluemadhatter

20

im glad im the only one this has happened to lmao, childhood best friend becoming selfish/self centred and toxic. Best thing you can ever do is cut them off!

Reply 18

IneffableLife

11

I think what I would do in this situation is confront them, bring up to situation and list all the reasons why they make you feel annoyed sometimes but also bring up the good times you've had together. I think this would be the only way things would improve (you don't necessarily have to cut them out, but confronting can sometimes lead to it and that can be scary) because she doesn't know you're feeling all these things, and if she doesn't know, she can't change right?