How can I know if she wants me back or not?

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Vertige
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My ex-gf recently messaged me with a fairly long text, saying among the lines "I miss you so much", "I really want to talk to you" etc.

She broke up with me 2 years ago and in the meantime we both tried to get back, but we weren't mature enough and therefore failed.

We have been talking for a few days, she usually tries to keep the conversation alive, she says some stuff that could somntlyehow be considered good signs, she laughs constantly, even once wondered why I didn't message her etc.

However, how can I know if she still loves me and wants me back, or is just curious how I am doing / seeking for attention? Some say she just seeks for attention, some say she is interested. Please don't say "it's an ex for a reason". I know all these. Currently that's not what I care about, since I want to make a new start, as long as she does too, but I don't know what she wants. I am currently very careful with what I type/send, and if you looked at my responses, you might even feel like I am not interested even though that's no even a bit true lol. I just don't want to appear needy or anything. Because maybe she doesn't want what I want.

Advices? I just feel like I should let her make a move and "chase" me.
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Kevin De Bruyne
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(Original post by Vertige)
My ex-gf recently messaged me with a fairly long text, saying among the lines "I miss you so much", "I really want to talk to you" etc.

She broke up with me 2 years ago and in the meantime we both tried to get back, but we weren't mature enough and therefore failed.

We have been talking for a few days, she usually tries to keep the conversation alive, she says some stuff that could somntlyehow be considered good signs, she laughs constantly, even once wondered why I didn't message her etc.

However, how can I know if she still loves me and wants me back, or is just curious how I am doing / seeking for attention? Some say she just seeks for attention, some say she is interested. Please don't say "it's an ex for a reason". I know all these. Currently that's not what I care about, since I want to make a new start, as long as she does too, but I don't know what she wants. I am currently very careful with what I type/send, and if you looked at my responses, you might even feel like I am not interested even though that's no even a bit true lol. I just don't want to appear needy or anything. Because maybe she doesn't want what I want.

Advices? I just feel like I should let her make a move and "chase" me.
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What if she interprets what you're doing so she thinks that you are uninterested and never makes a move?

It is difficult to interpret so I would advise being straight up. If it turns out she was attention seeking then cut her out of your life for good.
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Vertige
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(Original post by Kevin De Bruyne)
What if she interprets what you're doing so she thinks that you are uninterested and never makes a move?

It is difficult to interpret so I would advise being straight up. If it turns out she was attention seeking then cut her out of your life for good.
Do you think I should reveal my feelings now? I think it's too early. First I want to see how things are going to turn etc, and I need to be sure of her feelings.
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Kevin De Bruyne
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(Original post by Vertige)
Do you think I should reveal my feelings now? I think it's too early. First I want to see how things are going to turn etc, and I need to be sure of her feelings.
Well, ask yourself (I don't know the answer) why would it be too early?

How are you ever going to be sure of her feelings?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Kevin De Bruyne)
Well, ask yourself (I don't know the answer) why would it be too early?

How are you ever going to be sure of her feelings?
Because I want to be sure before making a move man. Maybe she wants to see if I have changed etc etc, straight telling her "I want to be back" is not a good decision in my opinion.

Sometimes I feel that I am too cold with her. For example she pmed me saying 2 days ago something like "Finallyyyy I am done" (exams), "it was so tiring", "now I can sleep" (she sent 3 different texts). Then I replied with a "Great haha" and that's it. It's just that I am 'afraid' to be too good and stuff.
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RLinds
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(Original post by Vertige)
My ex-gf recently messaged me with a fairly long text, saying among the lines "I miss you so much", "I really want to talk to you" etc.

She broke up with me 2 years ago and in the meantime we both tried to get back, but we weren't mature enough and therefore failed.

We have been talking for a few days, she usually tries to keep the conversation alive, she says some stuff that could somntlyehow be considered good signs, she laughs constantly, even once wondered why I didn't message her etc.

However, how can I know if she still loves me and wants me back, or is just curious how I am doing / seeking for attention? Some say she just seeks for attention, some say she is interested. Please don't say "it's an ex for a reason". I know all these. Currently that's not what I care about, since I want to make a new start, as long as she does too, but I don't know what she wants. I am currently very careful with what I type/send, and if you looked at my responses, you might even feel like I am not interested even though that's no even a bit true lol. I just don't want to appear needy or anything. Because maybe she doesn't want what I want.

Advices? I just feel like I should let her make a move and "chase" me.
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it sounds like she already is chasing you. there's only so much chasing a girl will do without any sign, before she gives up.

I think you should be open with her. the worst thing she can say is no, but if you don't say anything then you aren't going to have her anyway. it's worth a try
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RLinds
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(Original post by Kevin De Bruyne)
Well, ask yourself (I don't know the answer) why would it be too early?

How are you ever going to be sure of her feelings?
He's right
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(Original post by RLinds)
it sounds like she already is chasing you. there's only so much chasing a girl will do without any sign, before she gives up.

I think you should be open with her. the worst thing she can say is no, but if you don't say anything then you aren't going to have her anyway. it's worth a try
What makes you think she is chasing me and not just seeking for attention/is being just nice? Keep in mind that the last time we talked was in April 2017, and we started talking again few days ago. Back in April, I blocked her everywhere so I can move on, but she somehow got my WhatsApp and pmed me (I have no clue how she found it).

I feel that I am too cold sometimes with her, sometimes I respond with 1 word while she types more, and I might look like I am not interested. I think she feels I don't want to talk to her due to the past events etc.

But still, not sure if she wants us back/still loves me, or is just seeking for attention.

What made you come to this conclusion?
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Vertige
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(Original post by RLinds)
it sounds like she already is chasing you. there's only so much chasing a girl will do without any sign, before she gives up.

I think you should be open with her. the worst thing she can say is no, but if you don't say anything then you aren't going to have her anyway. it's worth a try
What makes you think she is chasing me and not just seeking for attention/is just being nice?

Keep in mind that the last time we talked was in April 2017, and we started again few days ago. Back then, in April, I blocked her everywhere and told her not to message me again, so I can move on. Then few days ago, she somehow found my WhatsApp (I am still wondering how) and she pmed me what I told you. I look kinda cold sometimes, and like I am not interested cuz I type with one word messsages sometimes etc. For example the last time she sent me as message saying how she is done with exams etc (sent me 3 messages), I was just like "Great hah". I know she maybe thinks I don't want to talk to her, but I don't want to be too excited and stuff since she might be seeking for my attention and nothing else.

What made you come to the conclusion that she is most likely interested and is doing the 'chasing'?
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cherlloydfan
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why did u split up in the first place?? and how long were u together for?? how old r u both??
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Vertige
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(Original post by cherlloydfan)
why did u split up in the first place?? and how long were u together for?? how old r u both??
Because I was constantly fighting with her since I was very insecure and stuff (now I am not like that), immaturity etc and some other stuff (we never cheated or something).

We were together for almost a year and loved each other a lot

I am 18, she is 16
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Vertige
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(typed twice)
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RLinds
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(Original post by Vertige)
What makes you think she is chasing me and not just seeking for attention/is just being nice?

Keep in mind that the last time we talked was in April 2017, and we started again few days ago. Back then, in April, I blocked her everywhere and told her not to message me again, so I can move on. Then few days ago, she somehow found my WhatsApp (I am still wondering how) and she pmed me what I told you. I look kinda cold sometimes, and like I am not interested cuz I type with one word messsages sometimes etc. For example the last time she sent me as message saying how she is done with exams etc (sent me 3 messages), I was just like "Great hah". I know she maybe thinks I don't want to talk to her, but I don't want to be too excited and stuff since she might be seeking for my attention and nothing else.

What made you come to the conclusion that she is most likely interested and is doing the 'chasing'?
Well she made the effort to try and contact you. Maybe she wants attention, but finding a way around bring blocked and then wanting you to reply after not hearing from you for a while suggests that she is doing some chasing. And if you are genuinely interested then playing games with her is not a good way to start. This is what I hate about dating these days, nobody is upfront and straightforward.

Just be open and honest. If it turns out she isn't actually interested, then you will go back to your already established life without her. So you aren't losing anything by being upfront.
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(Original post by RLinds)
Well she made the effort to try and contact you. Maybe she wants attention, but finding a way around bring blocked and then wanting you to reply after not hearing from you for a while suggests that she is doing some chasing. And if you are genuinely interested then playing games with her is not a good way to start. This is what I hate about dating these days, nobody is upfront and straightforward.

Just be open and honest. If it turns out she isn't actually interested, then you will go back to your already established life without her. So you aren't losing anything by being upfront.
I will see man. Thanks for your opinion!
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