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does your mum ask you for money watch

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    Whether she gave it you and asked for it back

    or if it's out your pocket/pay.


    never phones me either unless it's to pick my siblings up/drop them off/let them stay at my place and she made my little sister ask me ...

    she's never really given me anything tbh but I don't hate her or anything I'm just saying, for background.

    and if it's your "culture" to help your parents (let them live with you, etc) don't respond as that's not my culture
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    she's never given you anything? does that mean you didn't live with her as a child or?
    i dont know about 'culture" but personally, if my mum needs help with siblings and struggling a financially, I'd help her. She's family. She did carry me in her womb, raise me for all my life, gave me a roof over my head and food to eat. Maybe she never phones you because maybe you know... she's busy raising your siblings? Also, maybe you never call her either.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she's never given you anything? does that mean you didn't live with her as a child or?
    i dont know about 'culture" but personally, if my mum needs help with siblings and struggling a financially, I'd help her. She's family. She did carry me in her womb, raise me for all my life, gave me a roof over my head and food to eat. Maybe she never phones you because maybe you know... she's busy raising your siblings? Also, maybe you never call her either.
    Nah. Next.
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    Anyone who's not judgmental and understands not every one has a good relationship with their relatives? Would you give them money? When they act like you're dead to them any other time?
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    My mum asks if I have change for parking like a one or two pound coin but always pays me back
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    I ask my mum for money
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    Anyone who's not judgmental and understands not every one has a good relationship with their relatives? Would you give them money? When they act like you're dead to them any other time?
    It’s hard for me to give an opinion cause I have a good relationship with my parents. But if your mum basically never cares how you’re doing and only suddenly gives a damn when she wants money from you, then idk if she should get any. But it’s up to you if you give any to her or not. I guess you could still be a good guy just cause she’s your mum, even though she might not care ygm? Honestly I don’t know man, it’s a tough one. Do what feels right to you.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    she's never given you anything? does that mean you didn't live with her as a child or?
    i dont know about 'culture" but personally, if my mum needs help with siblings and struggling a financially, I'd help her. She's family. She did carry me in her womb, raise me for all my life, gave me a roof over my head and food to eat. Maybe she never phones you because maybe you know... she's busy raising your siblings? Also, maybe you never call her either.
    I don't understand why people praise parents for doing the bare minimum. If I kidnapped someone and fed them and gave them shelter does that make me virtuous? No. Parents have more responsibility conferred on them than just the basic needs.
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    Even if I had a bad relationship with my mum, tbh I would still end up giving her money if she asked me because I would still want to help her.
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    Anyone who's not judgmental and understands not every one has a good relationship with their relatives? Would you give them money? When they act like you're dead to them any other time?
    In that case, I wouldn't give them money. Sounds like you're just good to them when they want something, which isn't how it should be.

    My parents have asked me to lend them money. But I do have a good relationship with them.
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    There's a point where you say enough is enough -even with loved ones, or they become reliant on you/take advantage. For their own sake, sometimes we have to; what would happen if you weren't around?
    Ofc, where that point is depends on each individual. Only you can decide.
    (I am from that culture where you should help out tho, so is this reply to be ignored, idk)
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    (Original post by Hirsty97)
    I ask my mum for money
    I've asked her about three times in the past 10 years but when I was desperate homeless and unemployed (I've been homeless because of her multiple times) but she has a paid 9-5 job and makes twice as much money as me ...

    (Original post by Pleasehelp890)
    My mum asks if I have change for parking like a one or two pound coin but always pays me back

    (Original post by The Night King)
    It’s hard for me to give an opinion cause I have a good relationship with my parents. But if your mum basically never cares how you’re doing and only suddenly gives a damn when she wants money from you, then idk if she should get any. But it’s up to you if you give any to her or not. I guess you could still be a good guy just cause she’s your mum, even though she might not care ygm? Honestly I don’t know man, it’s a tough one. Do what feels right to you.
    (Original post by h333)
    Even if I had a bad relationship with my mum, tbh I would still end up giving her money if she asked me because I would still want to help her.
    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    In that case, I wouldn't give them money. Sounds like you're just good to them when they want something, which isn't how it should be.

    My parents have asked me to lend them money. But I do have a good relationship with them.
    (Original post by starfab)
    There's a point where you say enough is enough -even with loved ones, or they become reliant on you/take advantage. For their own sake, sometimes we have to; what would happen if you weren't around?
    Ofc, where that point is depends on each individual. Only you can decide.
    (I am from that culture where you should help out tho, so is this reply to be ignored, idk)
    K thanks guys, well my little sister was sent to ask me for the money and my mum didnt wanna speak to me, so I asked my sister why she needs it. She didnt know. So I didnt know. So I offered a tenner, my mum didnt want it. I asked again later, my sister said my mum wanted takeaway...I told her to cook, turned out she had a huge chicken in the freezer and rice like wtf. I was almost in pain from guilt but when I heard that, I was over it rather quickly and Im glad I kept the money like dont never speak to me then ask me for takeaway when you've got food right there and I barely have food for myself.
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    I do wanna make it clear that I dont hate her, Id be gutted if something happened to her but we do have an undeniably troubled and difficult relationship and money is a big issue between us cos we only speak to each other when we need it, which is rare bcause there are times when we need it and can ask each other but refuse to still. So she ends up hungry or I end up homeless. She hates when Ive asked for help, and unwillingly throws me a bone then hangs it over my head later, so I feel awkward and resentful when she asks me. But anyways. The situation is over now.
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    Yes when she accidentally gives me extra pocket money, but I never give it back

    Also I'm 16 so..
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    I just wanna know if I sound selfish lol
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    I just wanna know if I sound selfish lol
    I don't think you do, at all. You don't have a good relationship at all. I can't say if I was you, I'd lend my mum money either. I get the impress she only talks to you if she wants something.
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    (Original post by Tiger Rag)
    I don't think you do, at all. You don't have a good relationship at all. I can't say if I was you, I'd lend my mum money either. I get the impress she only talks to you if she wants something.
    Yea. She said a few times over the years that shes gona do that to me to "show me how it feels" to "use" someone and I mean, I'm her son... and was homeless...so asking for a fiver for a burger every once in a while apparently is "using her" so she wants to "get back at me" and I dont get it but ok. And when she does give me stuff, she treats me in an angry way that makes me not wanna ever ask her. But then she asks me for stuff. It's a shame I have to use principles on my mum, I should be able to treat her exclusively, not like everyone else but she dont see it that way with me, never has. Some people just dont wanna be parents oh well. But yea I offered a tenner and it wasnt good enough lol. I mean if she was hungry she coulda just used the tenner and bought some meat am I right? Or some chips..
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    I try and give my mum money if I'm visiting for a week towards food etc or take her out somewhere (although she usually won't agree) but we do have a very good relationship. I wouldn't give a family member money if we didn't get on/weren't close.

    I don't think it's a 'culture' thing to help parents... it's a decent human being thing. However if you have no relationship and your parents aren't good parents then I don't think you owe them anything.
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    (Original post by Bang Outta Order)
    Whether she gave it you and asked for it back

    or if it's out your pocket/pay.


    never phones me either unless it's to pick my siblings up/drop them off/let them stay at my place and she made my little sister ask me ...

    she's never really given me anything tbh but I don't hate her or anything I'm just saying, for background.

    and if it's your "culture" to help your parents (let them live with you, etc) don't respond as that's not my culture
    The people getting annoyed at you for saying this are probably sheltered little babies who give their mum the odd £10 here and there and actually think they're helping lol.

    My mum does the same s*** ,but takes considerable amounts off of me ( She's currently racked up a £250 debt on my credit card as if the £500 per month rent I'm giving her to fuel her cigarette addiction isn't enough :/ )

    She's an adult and needs to look after herself, as well as her younger children.
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    (Original post by AaronxFrancis)
    The people getting annoyed at you for saying this are probably sheltered little babies who give their mum the odd £10 here and there and actually think they're helping lol.

    My mum does the same s*** ,but takes considerable amounts off of me ( She's currently racked up a £250 debt on my credit card as if the £500 per month rent I'm giving her to fuel her cigarette addiction isn't enough :/ )

    She's an adult and needs to look after herself, as well as her younger children.
    my mum does take care of herself, agh I can't explain it :banghead:
 
 
 
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