How long is ignoring ok for ?
My boyfriend of 2 years and I got into a disagreement in which during he called me a f u c k I n g b I t c h. I’ve told him before to stop calling me that and I cried to him saying how I don’t like it and it’s hurtful.
After he called me that ,I hung up the phone ,he called back saying some stuff what the disagreement was about and I said whatever ok after I ended up in tears again because of him name calling. He then messaged me hours later about the disagreement and basically concluding it saying ‘ nothing is wrong we will meet this week and go out’ because the disagreement was about going out on a date. I ignored this and it’s been 4 days he hasn’t messaged me.
I ignored him because I’m NOT going to accept someone calling me this I do not want to have children or a marriage in which someone calls me this. And he needs to understand this.
He hasn’t messaged for 4 days and I haven’t said nothing either.
What should I do? Isit childish of me to not message him or do I have a leg to stand on ?
After he called me that ,I hung up the phone ,he called back saying some stuff what the disagreement was about and I said whatever ok after I ended up in tears again because of him name calling. He then messaged me hours later about the disagreement and basically concluding it saying ‘ nothing is wrong we will meet this week and go out’ because the disagreement was about going out on a date. I ignored this and it’s been 4 days he hasn’t messaged me.
I ignored him because I’m NOT going to accept someone calling me this I do not want to have children or a marriage in which someone calls me this. And he needs to understand this.
He hasn’t messaged for 4 days and I haven’t said nothing either.
What should I do? Isit childish of me to not message him or do I have a leg to stand on ?
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A relationship is nothing without communication.
Original post by DrawTheLine
A relationship is nothing without communication.
this seems to be your only response to every single relationship thread. well guess what, it's not always the right response.
Original post by Anonymous
this seems to be your only response to every single relationship thread. well guess what, it's not always the right response.
He's right though
Original post by Anonymous
this seems to be your only response to every single relationship thread. well guess what, it's not always the right response.
I fail to see how a couple can work out if they don't talk to each other. Giving each other the silent treatment and not telling each other what you want or feel is just immature.
why would waiting work? Would he suddenly come to the realisation that he is being unreasonable and would start talking to you again? I doubt it without any response from both parties.
Original post by jbrdodd
He's right though
I'm surprised that a lot of people think I'm a guy. I'm not offended at all just genuinely surprised I give off a male vibe.
If he means something to you and u want to try n work things out then Talk to him because if he cares about you he will stop tell him how it hurts ur feelings a lot coming from him... and tell him if it keeps happening then u don’t know if I guys can be together ..but also apologize to him for not speaking to him for days...
Original post by DrawTheLine
A relationship is nothing without communication.
It’s true. But when you’ve been disrespected sometimes it’s best to do your own thing. Especially in my situation where I’ve communicated to him several times on how I feel about being named that
calling you what?
A Fcking B1TCH
🤣🤣🤣
A Fcking B1TCH
🤣🤣🤣
Original post by Anonymous
It’s true. But when you’ve been disrespected sometimes it’s best to do your own thing. Especially in my situation where I’ve communicated to him several times on how I feel about being named that
Not talking to each other is hardly going to make things better. But good luck.
Original post by Anonymous
It’s true. But when you’ve been disrespected sometimes it’s best to do your own thing. Especially in my situation where I’ve communicated to him several times on how I feel about being named that
Both these things are right to some extent
For starters, communication is the most important thing in a relationship - if you've explained to him before that you don't like it and he still does it, then maybe it's not working out?
If it's a deal breaker then leave
Original post by EmilyH1256
If he means something to you and u want to try n work things out then Talk to him because if he cares about you he will stop tell him how it hurts ur feelings a lot coming from him... and tell him if it keeps happening then u don’t know if I guys can be together ..but also apologize to him for not speaking to him for days...
I’ve been with him 2 years. Of course he does. It’s a thing where I’ve told him several times to not call me that we had a chat weeks ago about it. I would love to apologise for not speaking for days but part of me feels like I need to respect myself and not be disrespected as I feel disgusted in him for continuing to do so. I’m not sure in what to do agh. I want to talk to him and I want him to stop but I just need to stay strong respect myself and not force him to respect me because it should come naturally. Right ?
Original post by monkeyman0121
why would waiting work? Would he suddenly come to the realisation that he is being unreasonable and would start talking to you again? I doubt it without any response from both parties.
I fully get you but it’s just that if it’s the first time I would understand. This isn’t I’ve addressed it many times to him and cried many times. Enough is enough. I feel disrespected however I don’t know if not speaking right now is the best or worst. I feel like he’s a coward because it’s been 4days almost and he hasn’t even said sorry for it he hasn’t even texted once or called. Communication in a relationship is key from both parties however in this situation all I’ve done is communicate and he just hasn’t got it.
It’s disgusting and disrespectful to be called that by your boyfriend.
Two grudge holders in a relationship = recipe for disaster
Original post by Anonymous
I’ve been with him 2 years. Of course he does. It’s a thing where I’ve told him several times to not call me that we had a chat weeks ago about it. I would love to apologise for not speaking for days but part of me feels like I need to respect myself and not be disrespected as I feel disgusted in him for continuing to do so. I’m not sure in what to do agh. I want to talk to him and I want him to stop but I just need to stay strong respect myself and not force him to respect me because it should come naturally. Right ?
You are completely right.. sometimes a man needs to hear this words these exact words...” I’ve spoken about this over And over this is the last time I will say it.. I don’t like how you do X Y AND Z.. it hurts my feels you are my boyfriend you should not disrespect me like that.. if u do not stop I don’t think we can be together...”
Ik from experience I went thru the same thing when I right got with my boyfriend n dealt with it for about as long as you when I got feed up I spoke up n said something and yea he has be moments still where he calls me a name but it’s never him calling me a Bi**h or a c*unt or a sl*t it’s more like ur a dummy cus I do doin dum things.. and it’s going on 5 years.. if u really mean something to him and he hears that he will stop if he doesn’t not you know he don’t really care ... and at that point it’s ur choice to stay n deal with it or leave him...
(edited 6 years ago)
Original post by Anonymous
It’s disgusting and disrespectful to be called that by your boyfriend.[/QUOTE]
^^ Or by anyone actually !
My advice would be to stay strong and stand your ground, even if it means the end of your relationship with him as this seems the only way he will learn he can't go around disrespecting you or future partners in such a way. If you give in he will think it's ok to carry on with this behaviour.
So... you've disagreed on something, he's called you a name, and then he's messaged you after the disagreement fixing the part you actually disagreed on. I know you've told him previously that you don't like getting called names, but it might not be apparent to him that it was that part of this particular argument that actually caused you to get so mad.
How is he going to realise and work it out if you're not making that clear to him and instead opting to ignore him?
tbf I assume by default that basically everybody online is a male unless their pic or post content makes it obviously not the case.
How is he going to realise and work it out if you're not making that clear to him and instead opting to ignore him?
Original post by DrawTheLine
I fail to see how a couple can work out if they don't talk to each other. Giving each other the silent treatment and not telling each other what you want or feel is just immature.
tbf I assume by default that basically everybody online is a male unless their pic or post content makes it obviously not the case.
Original post by EmilyH1256
You are completely right.. sometimes a man needs to hear this words these exact words...” I’ve spoken about this over And over this is the last time I will say it.. I don’t like how you do X Y AND Z.. it hurts my feels you are my boyfriend you should not disrespect me like that.. if u do not stop I don’t think we can be together...”
Ik from experience I went thru the same thing when I right got with my boyfriend n dealt with it for about as long as you when I got feed up I spoke up n said something and yea he has be moments still where he calls me a name but it’s never him calling me a Bi**h or a c*unt or a sl*t it’s more like ur a dummy cus I do doin dum things.. and it’s going on 5 years.. if u really mean something to him and he hears that he will stop if he doesn’t not you know he don’t really care ... and at that point it’s ur choice to stay n deal with it or leave him...
Ik from experience I went thru the same thing when I right got with my boyfriend n dealt with it for about as long as you when I got feed up I spoke up n said something and yea he has be moments still where he calls me a name but it’s never him calling me a Bi**h or a c*unt or a sl*t it’s more like ur a dummy cus I do doin dum things.. and it’s going on 5 years.. if u really mean something to him and he hears that he will stop if he doesn’t not you know he don’t really care ... and at that point it’s ur choice to stay n deal with it or leave him...
It’s true. What should I do. Wait for him to text me or ? I think he is very cowardly for not texting me after calling me that. I don’t know what to do. Should I just get on with my own stuff till he texts or wait for him to text me? I’m tired of carrying on telling him😓
Original post by Retired_Messiah
So... you've disagreed on something, he's called you a name, and then he's messaged you after the disagreement fixing the part you actually disagreed on. I know you've told him previously that you don't like getting called names, but it might not be apparent to him that it was that part of this particular argument that actually caused you to get so mad.
How is he going to realise and work it out if you're not making that clear to him and instead opting to ignore him?
tbf I assume by default that basically everybody online is a male unless their pic or post content makes it obviously not the case.
How is he going to realise and work it out if you're not making that clear to him and instead opting to ignore him?
tbf I assume by default that basically everybody online is a male unless their pic or post content makes it obviously not the case.
I understand what your saying. It’s just 3weeks ago I broke down and said to him how I don’t like being called that by him and he said he wouldn’t do it again because he can see I’m hurting and it’s breaking me. So for him to say that he must be dumb to not think I’m upset about it. He knows how upset I get when called that.
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