Am I a terrible person?
I read the post about controlling relationships and I got really scared because I do some of the things mentioned there, although for different reasons than stated. I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for over a year, most of which has been long distance (about 160 km). During term time we usually see each other every week or every 2 weeks; however now I have not seen her for over a month because of exams and revision.
She finished her exams before me and told me she was going out with her friends to a club. Now I don't like when she goes out even though she doesn't do it very often at all, but not because I don't trust her, but because I'm actually really jealous of her. She found a great group of friends right after coming to uni and gets along with them very well, they talk, hang out and party together all the time. I know it's irrational, but when she goes on nights out I get really anxious and jealous, because I wish I could be there getting drunk and having fun with her instead of being alone at home. I also don't really have a group of friends at uni because I find it much harder to socialize, so it's not like I can go out whenever I want; and also I don't really have a lot of experience clubbing.
Am I a bad person for feeling this way? I don't want to be controlling and I really care about her and love her deeply, but just everytime I see her having fun on her own I get really down and start to question everything about myself.
She finished her exams before me and told me she was going out with her friends to a club. Now I don't like when she goes out even though she doesn't do it very often at all, but not because I don't trust her, but because I'm actually really jealous of her. She found a great group of friends right after coming to uni and gets along with them very well, they talk, hang out and party together all the time. I know it's irrational, but when she goes on nights out I get really anxious and jealous, because I wish I could be there getting drunk and having fun with her instead of being alone at home. I also don't really have a group of friends at uni because I find it much harder to socialize, so it's not like I can go out whenever I want; and also I don't really have a lot of experience clubbing.
Am I a bad person for feeling this way? I don't want to be controlling and I really care about her and love her deeply, but just everytime I see her having fun on her own I get really down and start to question everything about myself.
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Huams are terrible in general- look at factory farming. So don't worry about it you no different from this awful society.
Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
Huams are terrible in general- look at factory farming. So don't worry about it you no different from this awful society.
That doesn't help, I asked specifically if not liking it when my gf goes out makes me the bad guy? I never try to stop her or tell her that she can't go, because I obviously have no right to do that, but still.
Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
Huams are terrible in general- look at factory farming. So don't worry about it you no different from this awful society.
Must you push your vegan nonsense everywhere?
No, you're not a bad person at all! Jealousy is so rational, it's part of human nature. The jealous you explain isn't necessarily to do with the fact that she's your girlfriend, because it's the sort of jealousy you might have of another friend or someone you know as well. Personally, something that could not only help with your feelings of guilt and jealousy but could also enhance your relationship is to go out more when you're with your girlfriend! Go visit her and ask to tag along to a night out, you don't have to do it every time you see her but it could ease that tension for you. I'm sure she'd love for you to get to know her friends and you might meet other people through her too! Definetely worth a shot, especially as you said you love her so much. You're definetely NOT a bad person!
you're not a bad person but maybe tell her the reason why you feel jealous it might make u feel better?
Original post by georgiaunlit
No, you're not a bad person at all! Jealousy is so rational, it's part of human nature. The jealous you explain isn't necessarily to do with the fact that she's your girlfriend, because it's the sort of jealousy you might have of another friend or someone you know as well. Personally, something that could not only help with your feelings of guilt and jealousy but could also enhance your relationship is to go out more when you're with your girlfriend! Go visit her and ask to tag along to a night out, you don't have to do it every time you see her but it could ease that tension for you. I'm sure she'd love for you to get to know her friends and you might meet other people through her too! Definetely worth a shot, especially as you said you love her so much. You're definetely NOT a bad person!
Thanks, it's good to hear I'm not being completely irrational here. You are wrong about one thing, though, and that is that I generally don't get this uneasy feeling when my other friends (e.g. from back home) go clubbing; it's only when the gf does it. She told me a couple of times she'd take me with her to a night out some day and show me how to have fun, but so far nothing has come out of that. This might be because I'm not really the kind of person that has been going out a lot in their lives (as you can probably already guess) and she might think I'd be uncomfortable, but I keep suggesting to her that I actually want to do it and learn how to enjoy it. Do you think this anxiety could be because I have no clubbing experience myself and just overthink things? I know for sure she wouldn't cheat on me or do anything stupid except maybe getting really drunk (she really likes alcohol haha), so it can't be an issue of lack of trust?
Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
Why did you go anon to say that you prick. 
Everyone on TSR is tired of your vegan nonsense, Ttingox
Original post by Anonymous
Everyone on TSR is tired of your vegan nonsense, Ttingox
Well I'm tired of the way animals are treated. looks like we both have to suffer.
Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
Well I'm tired of the way animals are treated. looks like we both have to suffer.
What are you realistically going to do about it though? People will always eat meat so you’ll be waiting a long time
Can we stay on topic please? I don't want to argue about veganism here, that's not why I created this thread. Please.
Original post by Anonymous
What are you realistically going to do about it though? People will always eat meat so you’ll be waiting a long time
Continue to complain about it. You are free to continue complaining about me complaining if you wish or not.
Why go anon to post though?
Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
Continue to complain about it. You are free to continue complaining about me complaining if you wish or not.
Why go anon to post though?
Why go anon to post though?
Complaining won’t do anything, people will ignore you and carry on eating meat
Original post by Anonymous
Complaining won’t do anything, people will ignore you and carry on eating meat
Not complaining won't do anything either.
Original post by Anonymous
So, great, your whole raison d’etre is to waste your existence by complaining knowing it won’t make a blind bit of difference? This is why people say vegans are loopy. Just have a meat burger and accept that fact that humans eat meat
I think society is loopy.
What you saying is that you shouldn't complain about the norms of society? No matter how much you against it?
Original post by rdtfvygbuhj
I think society is loopy.
What you saying is that you shouldn't complain about the norms of society? No matter how much you against it?
What you saying is that you shouldn't complain about the norms of society? No matter how much you against it?
An opinion that, in some ways, may be correct
I’m not saying you shouldn’t do anything, only that your time is a precious commodity and life is short. Why waste it promoting veganism on TSR when you could be out doing something more meaningful towards your cause?
Original post by Anonymous
An opinion that, in some ways, may be correct
I’m not saying you shouldn’t do anything, only that your time is a precious commodity and life is short. Why waste it promoting veganism on TSR when you could be out doing something more meaningful towards your cause?
I’m not saying you shouldn’t do anything, only that your time is a precious commodity and life is short. Why waste it promoting veganism on TSR when you could be out doing something more meaningful towards your cause?
Because there is nothing meaningful that can be done (Not today anyway, maybe in a few hundred years) so I will sit on the internet being bitter about it.
Be an Alpha. Be confident and try enjoying your life. You only live once, so don't spend time being jealous of your gfd bro.
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