The Student Room Group

She is online but replies later?

Hi everyone. Basically I have been talking to this girl for a while now, and lately we have been flirting a lot. She has said stuff like "I had a dream of us", and other stuff such as "you really make me happy when we talk", "I really really love talking to you" etc. For example yesterday we much fun,and at some point I told her "I am a weird person, don't worry, it's fine" and she said "Yeah, I will be a weird person too soon then :smile:". Etc. In a few words, she shows many signs and she often tries to keep the convo alive by asking questions etc. She also laughs almost always.

Now, the thing is, sometimes I see her online on social media, but she replies a bit later. She is a med student and studies really a lot (she barely has much free time and studies until late night) but as I said, sometimes she is online let's say on WhatsApp, but answers to my message (we talk on WA) after maybe 30 minutes or sometimes even more. Why is that? It doesn't happen always, but occasionally. Yesterday I sent her a pm, but she replied to it almost a day later and she said "Sorry for not answering, I wasn't feeling ok, good morning". Now the thing is, she was online that day on WhatsApp a few times. I think she checked WhatsApp like 4-5 times, means she was probably talking to someone else. I forgot to mention that 90% of the times she apologises when she replies late.


Do you think I am overthinking it / worrying for no reason? If yes, why? Or is it normal to feel like that?
maybe she thinks if she replies straight away she thinks she looks desperate or something, don't stress out all will be well
Original post by Anonymous
Hi everyone. Basically I have been talking to this girl for a while now, and lately we have been flirting a lot. She has said stuff like "I had a dream of us", and other stuff such as "you really make me happy when we talk", "I really really love talking to you" etc. For example yesterday we much fun,and at some point I told her "I am a weird person, don't worry, it's fine" and she said "Yeah, I will be a weird person too soon then :smile:". Etc. In a few words, she shows many signs and she often tries to keep the convo alive by asking questions etc. She also laughs almost always.

Now, the thing is, sometimes I see her online on social media, but she replies a bit later. She is a med student and studies really a lot (she barely has much free time and studies until late night) but as I said, sometimes she is online let's say on WhatsApp, but answers to my message (we talk on WA) after maybe 30 minutes or sometimes even more. Why is that? It doesn't happen always, but occasionally. Yesterday I sent her a pm, but she replied to it almost a day later and she said "Sorry for not answering, I wasn't feeling ok, good morning". Now the thing is, she was online that day on WhatsApp a few times. I think she checked WhatsApp like 4-5 times, means she was probably talking to someone else. I forgot to mention that 90% of the times she apologises when she replies late.


Do you think I am overthinking it / worrying for no reason? If yes, why? Or is it normal to feel like that?


I do that. If I get a message from someone and I know it'll turn into a full-on conversation I won't reply until I have the time to have that conversation. Also if I know my reply will have to be long then I reply when I have time to write my reply.

It could also be if she's getting lots of messages she just misses yours out, sometimes I don't see I have a message for a while purely because I missed the notification.

I wouldn't look too into it and don't take it personally. It sounds like you text each other a lot which would take up a lot of time for her considering how much work she has. Just be patient and be happy when she does message you.
She is probably just busy but leaves things signed in so would show up as online.

You're overthinking it. All this will do is cause you to stress and feel bad, and in turn become needy which will drive her away, over something that there was need to worry about in the first place.
I don't get the issue. I'm sure it sometimes shows as online when you're not? I reply when I have time. Some messages take some thought. I, for example, sometimes have to rearrange things with a friend. But I can't tell him yes or no right now.
I wouldn't worry too much about it, as long she replies that's all that really matters
Reply 6
Is this what texting has come to?

Come on, you're concerned that she replies 30 minutes later? You must be incredibly bored if you're just sitting there looking at her online times. Go get a hobby or something.
Reply 7
You're overthinking it, and its probably not healthy to keep checking when she's online, you'll just stress yourself out.
Call her if you're that desperate for a reply. To me, text implies it doesn't need a reply now.
Reply 9
Original post by Tiger Rag
I don't get the issue. I'm sure it sometimes shows as online when you're not? I reply when I have time. Some messages take some thought. I, for example, sometimes have to rearrange things with a friend. But I can't tell him yes or no right now.


So that basically means that sometimes she might have nothing to say etc? Even if that person is interested in me?
Original post by Tiger Rag
I don't get the issue. I'm sure it sometimes shows as online when you're not? I reply when I have time. Some messages take some thought. I, for example, sometimes have to rearrange things with a friend. But I can't tell him yes or no right now.


So that basically means that sometimes she might have nothing to say etc? Even if that person is interested in me?
Original post by UWS
Is this what texting has come to?

Come on, you're concerned that she replies 30 minutes later? You must be incredibly bored if you're just sitting there looking at her online times. Go get a hobby or something.


It's not that man. I am sometimes concerned because she is online on WhatsApp for example, but answers to me after many minutes or even hours (sometimes). If that's because she has nothing to say etc etc, then I am fine with it, but if that's because she is not that interested in me, then I would rather back off.
Reply 12
she's texting other guys before she gets to you x
Reply 13
Original post by Anonymous
It's not that man. I am sometimes concerned because she is online on WhatsApp for example, but answers to me after many minutes or even hours (sometimes). If that's because she has nothing to say etc etc, then I am fine with it, but if that's because she is not that interested in me, then I would rather back off.


And I am telling you that you are wasting your time reading too much into online times and the time it takes for her to reply. This sort of thing will drive you crazy if you take it too seriously.

If she wasn't interested, she would give you dead replies or not even reply at all.
Original post by YeFool
she's texting other guys before she gets to you x


Do you really think that's the reason?
Original post by Anonymous
It's not that man. I am sometimes concerned because she is online on WhatsApp for example, but answers to me after many minutes or even hours (sometimes). If that's because she has nothing to say etc etc, then I am fine with it, but if that's because she is not that interested in me, then I would rather back off.


Concerned about what exactly? She isn't obliged to reply to you as soon as she sees your message.
the insecurity is real here.
Have you gone on a date with this person or are you just texting her?
You're probably being too forward, desperate. Chill out a bit and then you'll be the one ignoring her.

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