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Lied about having lost my virginity.

jeebsa

Well its not going to help the situation confessing! Is there a viable way of them finding out unless the person in question lets slip? me thinks not. MMMMmmm i think you have misunderstood the anonymous poster, doesnt seem like she is arrogant but pressured to lie.

No no, you have misunderstood me. She was pressured to lie due to her friends arrogance, not her own.

It might not help the situation, but it may relieve any guilt that the OP has for lying, and it might lead to her sorting things out with this ill-mouthed friend...

Reply 21

username47781

20

What are you ashamed of? your friend is the one being shallow :rolleyes:

Reply 22

leo89

How can she wind you up about it if she's a virgin herself?

Reply 23

username136318

10

Anonymous

Please keep anon for obvious reasons.

Basically I told my best friend that I lost my virginity to my ex- when I'm still a virgin. This may sound crazy, but she always used to tease me about how 'sad' I was still being a virgin even though I'm only 16, and make really bitchy comments iin front of our gruop of friends like " for your 17th we will hire you a male prostitute because we'll be fed up with you still being a sad virgin." I mean to me, virginity wasn't a big deal at all, but she is my best friend and always was there for me when I was going through rubbish times.
So I told her I'm not a virgin anymore, but I'm sure she knows I'm lying as she calls me up and says things like "I hate people that lie, especially friends, about important stuff. That's not what friendships about." And she's a virgin herself, and keeps on asking me about what sex really feels like which I can't really answer. Should I 'fess up to her? It's just we've both had problems in the past with trusting people, and she is the closest friend I ever had.

Just tell her the truth, you're still a virgin. Tell her why you lied..and then if she continues to tease you.. tease her right back in front of your friends, she can't make comments about your virginty when she still has hers. Besides being a virgin isnt a negative thing.

Reply 24

Cooro

14

I'm 18 and I've never even had a boyfriend, and none of my friends care. If you don't mind my saying, it's a little shallow to say that just because you're 16 you 'must have' had sex because it's legal, it's not an obligation.

Reply 25

Mush

17

Anonymous

It's more than that. The group that I used to hang around in were like a younger generation 'Skins' group, they did drugs at around 14, and were going around constantly competing with each other over who could be the most outrageous. I stopped hanging out with them, but my best friend is a best friend- I can take whatever from people who don't really matter. But acting like you've got a disease because you're still a virgin really used to upset me,it felt like she was betraying me, as she knew I was getting crap at home from my Dad... and the last person I needed was a bully from my best friend. So that's why I lied. Part of me wants to forget the whole thing ever happened, and just not talk to her anymore... I mean I have other friends as well. Maybe moving on would be best.

I think it would be best to confront her. If she truly is your best friend then she won't mind you opening up to her, telling her what hurts your feelings, and asking her nicely to be more considerate of them before she opens her mouth. If she's incapable of doing that, then yes, move on - since she clearly has no regard for you.

Reply 26

Anonymous #1

OP

NickyP

How can she wind you up about it if she's a virgin herself?

Because I'm the one that's had the boyfriends but still didn';t feel ready to do it. I've supposedly had the 'opportunity'. I despise her logic. But anyone can have sex with anyone pretty much if they want to. But when I was 15/16 I just didn't feel ready. Eurgh, I hate this society.

Reply 27

Anonymous #1

OP

Cooro

I'm 18 and I've never even had a boyfriend, and none of my friends care. If you don't mind my saying, it's a little shallow to say that just because you're 16 you 'must have' had sex because it's legal, it's not an obligation.

Totally agree.

Reply 28

Mush

17

Anonymous

Because I'm the one that's had the boyfriends but still didn';t feel ready to do it. I've supposedly had the 'opportunity'. I despise her logic. But anyone can have sex with anyone pretty much if they want to. But when I was 15/16 I just didn't feel ready. Eurgh, I hate this society.

Well I empathise with you to a certain extent. I'm in the same boat. Had plenty of opportunity, just haven't gotten around to doing it yet! Some of my friends make the odd remark, but it's definitely all in jest and for the sake of banter, and I often go along with it, because it is a laugh.

But if I made it clear that I was sensitive to such remarks and they were making me feel bad, then they'd stop immediately. That's what friends are meant to do...

It is a bit pretentious of a girl who is also still a virgin and hasn't had the opportunity yet, to be making such remarks. My friends who do it are all non-virgins. Odd.

Reply 29

jeebsa

Mush

No no, you have misunderstood me. She was pressured to lie due to her friends arrogance, not her own.

It might not help the situation, but it may relieve any guilt that the OP has for lying, and it might lead to her sorting things out with this ill-mouthed friend...

my bad sorry, well if her friends act like that then i can see little benefit telling the truth

Reply 30

RyanT

15

You're an idiot if you confess. Go read some porn stories if you need some ideas on how to answer her questions.

Reply 31

Anonymous #1

OP

Mush

Well I empathise with you to a certain extent. I'm in the same boat. Had plenty of opportunity, just haven't gotten around to doing it yet! Some of my friends make the odd remark, but it's definitely all in jest and for the sake of banter, and I often go along with it, because it is a laugh.

Sure, I get that things are in jest but she used to go on and on about it and act like I was a total freak. I even told my Mum I lied about it, and she was said "well the stupid girl shouldn't have gone on about it so much. Don't worry about it, who cares, you don't need to tell her the truth."

Reply 32

Brighten

13

Anonymous

Thanks to everyone! I know, she always had a chip on her shoulder about it, especially as I had lots of boyfriends and no-one's ever asked her out. But I honestly never cared about that- I mean I love her to bits anyway.

To me it sounds like she's bitter that no one wants to go out with her so is trying to humiliate you by saying you're frigid to make herself feel better. Who needs enemies...

Reply 33

Mush

17

Anonymous

Sure, I get that things are in jest but she used to go on and on about it and act like I was a total freak. I even told my Mum I lied about it, and she was said "well the stupid girl shouldn't have gone on about it so much. Don't worry about it, who cares, you don't need to tell her the truth."

You didn't lie for her sake though, you lied for your sake. Which suggest that she's made you feel uncomfortable about yourself. I disagree with your mum. I think you should hold your head up high be comfortable with who you are without having to answer to ill-mouthed friends.

Reply 34

leo89

Anonymous

Because I'm the one that's had the boyfriends but still didn';t feel ready to do it. I've supposedly had the 'opportunity'. I despise her logic. But anyone can have sex with anyone pretty much if they want to. But when I was 15/16 I just didn't feel ready. Eurgh, I hate this society.

Good, you should just do it when you're ready. I've never really thought about it, but nearly all of my friends are virgins and it's not something that matters in the slightest. She's just being childish, you don't need to have sex, just tell her why you said that then if she says anything sly tell her to grow up. :smile:

Reply 35

snail_87

2

Mush

Wait, I just reread the last bit of your post. Why he HELL does she tease you about being a virgin if she's a virgin herself????

Quoted for *******ing truth. Was about to say the exact same thing myself.

She is a loser. She's 16 and wants to look 'hard' in front of other mates, by teasing you she is only making things worse on herself. When everyone wakes up and realises what an immature girl she is (including you) then she will be totally alone and have isolated herself.

Confess to her, it really is the easiest thing to do. But while you are at it, be confident, stand up tall, and tell her some home truths. If she knows she can't get at you, she won't tease you. Well that's the theory with most 16 year old girls anyway. :p:

Reply 36

Archibald246

13

Seems a strange thing for her to make fun of you for. In some ways i would say that it makes you respectable as you clearly haven't found the right person yet, and have decided to wait. Just tell her the truth and if she teases you again tell her that you don't appreciate it, and that if she values your friendship then she should stop doing it.

Reply 37

Anonymous #2

When I first went to uni I lied and told everyone I'd slept with three guys. It was one of the very first nights and someone randomly popped the question, "So, how many people have you slept with?" and 3 seemed about the average number the others were coming out with. But it was so stupid. I did have one friend who was a virgin and when she lost her virginity, she asked me loads of questions and I couldn't really answer them. Then when I did lose my virginity, it was a huge deal for me, and I didn't really have anyone to tell, because they all thought I was now on guy number 4! It was really stupid to lie and I regret it, but it's been so long now I feel I can't tell them the truth, and seeing as I'm not a virgin anymore it doesn't matter ... but I just wish I'd had someone to talk to about it when it finally did happen for me.

Reply 38

shrimp

Mush

Wait, I just reread the last bit of your post. Why he HELL does she tease you about being a virgin if she's a virgin herself????

I was thinking the exact same thing. What a hypocrite :/

Tell her where to go.. best friends shouldn't say things like that. But who cares about being a virgin or not and tell your friend that. She sounds extremely immature.

Reply 39

superbrain147218

11

wow, with friends like that who needs enemies? if my best friends treated me like that i would just disown them.

Lied about having lost my virginity.

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