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I'm turning into a horrible person

I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm turning into such a horrible person as I get older and I think it stems from being bullied at school and constantly being treated awful by people at uni (friends and boyfriends). I never used to be like this, I used to be a nice person but I feel so full of hatred and anger at everyone and everything. It's making my anxiety bad and is going to push the nice people in my life away but I just feel like everyone is against me.

Reply 1

HGS345

Original post by Anonymous

I've had very similar childhood experiences that have impact me more than I thought. I too was full of bitterness and hatred, even though I thought I'd let go of my past. Even now I find it difficult to form proper relationships with people as I always have my guard up and am in general, not a very sensitive person. I consider other peoples feelings, but I get very angry if people ask me about mine. What you need to do is learn to let go, watch 'Frozen' lol, I learnt a lot from it, as weird as it sounds. Its easier said than done though. What I did was realise that life is all about dealing with difficult people. There's always going to be someone who gives you a bit of headache, some of us experience it more than others. But there's always people who are in a far more difficult situation than us, so we should be grateful for what we have.

I know how it feels to feel like everyone is against you, I've always got family telling me 'you'll never be able to do this, or that' etc., but ignore them. These challenges make you a far more stronger willed person and they help you overcome many obstacles in life. I know some people who recieve a bit of negativity and they break down, but people like you and me can take it, as we've been dealing with it for so long.

Regardless, people tend to get more cynical as they get more experienced with the real world. As the real world is a nasty place. And it's alright to feel those emotions, it's just a problem when you let them control your life, so try to avoid that. Most people in life are not actually bad, but because of the 'dog eat dog world' mentality, people assume you won't help them, so why should they help you. So just try your best to be the good person you are, be a light for those who are in darkness.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 2

sandytablet

I get what you mean; I feel really tired of being kind when sometimes people don't put as much effort into me. The best thing to do is to deal with your feelings in another way, like writing them down, taking up a hobby to think about how you feel while you're doing something relaxing. At the end of the day, you enjoy being a good person, so we try to not let our feelings get the better of us.

Good luck.