Do I talk to my bf about drinking?

I've been raised in a household where no one drinks or smokes, so I get very uncomfortable at the mention of drinking. I have been dating my bf now for 4 months, known him for several years. He drinks and used to smoke but we've already spoken about the smoking and he's decided that it's something he can definitely give up and has done.
I know I'm probably being irrational but him even mentioning drinking makes me feel sick and I get a knot in my stomach.
Do I talk to him about this, either to ask him to stop, not drink as regularly or not tell me etc. or just "suck it up"? If anyone has any personal experience i would very gratefully receive it :smile:

Reply 1

doodle_333

19

You need to get over it. Almost everyone drinks so you're going to find it hard in nearly every relationship and friendship you have if thus is your approach. As long as he isn't doing it excessively live and let live.

Reply 2

Ciel.

21

Original post by castiron

I've been raised in a household where no one drinks or smokes, so I get very uncomfortable at the mention of drinking. I have been dating my bf now for 4 months, known him for several years. He drinks and used to smoke but we've already spoken about the smoking and he's decided that it's something he can definitely give up and has done.
I know I'm probably being irrational but him even mentioning drinking makes me feel sick and I get a knot in my stomach.
Do I talk to him about this, either to ask him to stop, not drink as regularly or not tell me etc. or just "suck it up"? If anyone has any personal experience i would very gratefully receive it :smile:

Wow, so controlling. Leave the poor dude alone.

Reply 3

DrawTheLine

22

Original post by castiron

I've been raised in a household where no one drinks or smokes, so I get very uncomfortable at the mention of drinking. I have been dating my bf now for 4 months, known him for several years. He drinks and used to smoke but we've already spoken about the smoking and he's decided that it's something he can definitely give up and has done.
I know I'm probably being irrational but him even mentioning drinking makes me feel sick and I get a knot in my stomach.
Do I talk to him about this, either to ask him to stop, not drink as regularly or not tell me etc. or just "suck it up"? If anyone has any personal experience i would very gratefully receive it :smile:

Why does it make you so uncomfortable for him to drink just because you were brought up without alcohol? As long as he doesn't have an addiction there's no problem with it. It's your issue here, not his.

Reply 4

Zarek

21

You can try a bit of gentle influencing but I wouldn't be surprised if he is not receptive to changing.

Reply 5

Notoriety

22

Talk about being FOOKEN WHIPPED, my lad.

Reply 6

UWS

21

It almost sounds like you want to control him to suit your needs. This is a bad idea of course.

Reply 7

Neilos

18

Original post by castiron

I've been raised in a household where no one drinks or smokes, so I get very uncomfortable at the mention of drinking.

Simply being raised in a household with no drinking or smoking shouldn't be enough to make you uncomfortable with those things. What's the real reason you get uncomfortable at the mention of drinking?

Address that, not your boyfriend's (as it sounds) entirely normal drinking habits.

(edited 5 years ago)

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

Talk to him about what?

Its you with the issue, not him. You are being irrational, and to even think about asking him to stop is controlling. Unless he actually has a drinking problem, you have no right to ask him to stop. The no drinking thing is yours, not his, and forcing your views on him is not something adults do within a healthy relationship.

Reply 9

Tootles

21

Original post by castiron

I've been raised in a household where no one drinks or smokes, so I get very uncomfortable at the mention of drinking. I have been dating my bf now for 4 months, known him for several years. He drinks and used to smoke but we've already spoken about the smoking and he's decided that it's something he can definitely give up and has done.
I know I'm probably being irrational but him even mentioning drinking makes me feel sick and I get a knot in my stomach.
Do I talk to him about this, either to ask him to stop, not drink as regularly or not tell me etc. or just "suck it up"? If anyone has any personal experience i would very gratefully receive it :smile:

Suck it up or leave him. It's not unreasonable to want to have a drink now and again, and it seems like it's only because you're not used to it that you don't like it. If he had a drink problem or was being abusive, that'd be a different story, not really it sound like you just don't like him drinking.

Reply 10

999tigger

19

Original post by castiron

I've been raised in a household where no one drinks or smokes, so I get very uncomfortable at the mention of drinking. I have been dating my bf now for 4 months, known him for several years. He drinks and used to smoke but we've already spoken about the smoking and he's decided that it's something he can definitely give up and has done.
I know I'm probably being irrational but him even mentioning drinking makes me feel sick and I get a knot in my stomach.
Do I talk to him about this, either to ask him to stop, not drink as regularly or not tell me etc. or just "suck it up"? If anyone has any personal experience i would very gratefully receive it :smile:

Depends if he is drinking to excess on a regular basis and has a real problem.

Sounds like you are the one out of step and need to have some flexibility.
Social drinking is quite normal. You can choose not to participate, but you cant control the other person unless its such a deal breaker for you, in which case you can make your views known and split if you cant deal with it.

Do I talk to my bf about drinking?

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