Boyfriends depression- is our relationship over?

My boyfriend has had depression for most his adult life. for the past month it has gotten extremely bad. I’ve tried to be supportive, remind him of his worth etc. But he has gotten more and more distant each day. We barely talk, and when we do it’s cold and distant. All traces of love and affection are gone. We went on a date yesterday and he was completely uninterested in conversation, could hardly laugh at a joke or reply. He was so distant. It’s hard to not take it personally even though he said it wasn’t me but that he felt so low. I said I felt like he was a stranger and I didn’t know the person I was talking to and he said he doesn’t know who he is anymore either. The point is, he has changed into a different person. I have 2 areas of advice that I need.

1. How do I stop feeling like it’s my fault? and

2. Is it wrong that I end our relationship?

I know it might sound selfish and like I’m a bad person, but this is destroying me. I’ve tried my hardest to support him but I can’t even have a nice conversation on a date with him, he’s like a stranger and it’s very hurtful and damaging to me. I’m heartbroken thinking about how affectionate, loving, and kind and happy we were but now he is cold and distant and uninterested. He has changed and I don’t know him anymore, am I bad for ending things when they can’t work? And is it my fault? How do I feel better about losing someone I loved so much who is now a stranger? I’m finding it really hard to process the change from the person I fell in love with to the cold person I saw last night and I can’t help feeling worthless from his disinterest and lack of love towards me when he used to hang on to my every word and look at me like I was the best thing he’d ever seen. I don’t know how to cope with this. Any advice is much appreciated, I feel like I’m going through hell, he says he loves me still and always will but that he’s changed. I think I need to leave for the sake of my health, but I feel I’ll never get over how much this experience has crushed me. I feel like I can’t love again.

How old are you both?
How longs the relationship been going on?
How important is it to you?
What treatment is he getting?

1. Its clearly not your fault. He had it before you met him and hasnt managed to beat it. He hasnt blamed it on you and for a time you were happy.
Its up to him to sort himself out. You should also remind yourself of you listening and being supportive. If you have tried over an extended period and he has ignore you, then you cant do any more.

2. Definitely not wrong. You arent married. You have tried your best over an extended period and you cant help. On the flip side you are very unhappy so even if you dont have a new relationship soon, then simply being away from him and the upset caused is a win for you. Dont sacrifice yourself and let him pull you down. that way you are no good to either.

3. He needs help and if youve given him the help to get it then give him his own space and stop worrying. you can still be friends and even support him, the thing is he will be less of your responsibility. It may also help him to focus on handling his own issues. Am sure you have warned him and now it just keeps the drama alive by letting you suffer as well.

Get out asap and no guilt. 100% You can leave him a letter or tell him to his face why you reached such a decision but he probably expects it anyway.

Its in your best interests and probably his as well. Leave it, be his distant friend, regroup and find something a little more two way that can make you happy. You will get over it dont worry.

Yeah dump someone with depression. I am sure that will help their recovery and won't result in grave consequences.