wake up crying from dreams

Make your own GP appointment and go.

I have this theory of mine , that when we dream we're actually seeing through the eyes of ourselves in an alternate reality/dimension

hence why we see ourseleves in these situation in our dreams , we're connected to our alternate realitys self and experiencing what we're going through

I’ve spoken to them about this and I’m really not allowed out. At all. Even though my gp is literally opposite my house
I’ve spoken to them so many times about this and all they do is disregard it and tell me “you’ll grow out of it” it’s really silly.

But I’ve experienced the violation stuff as a kid already idk

does your school have a mental health counsellour or something , at my college you are within your rights to make an appointment anonymous to your parents , try that

they're not wasting time and money on your tears

They have more than enough time, they owe me something from neglecting me as a child and leaving me locked with only packets of cookies and milk while they went on holiday.

Genuinely don’t even remember them raising me, just remember being touched up and used like a sex toy by people.

Go to the GP. They can't stop you? You make your own appointments and they don't need to find out. Say you are meeting up with someone
It sounds like its been happening a while and most parents would want it checked out. Unless they are doing something wrong and are the cause of them, then I don't see why they are stopping you

I’m not allowed to go out. Ever.
They even were hesistent to take me to ae when I had breathing problems
I called 111 and only cod they heard them on the speaker that I need to go immediately they took me.

**** parents.
If they didn’t want kids why didn’t they use contraception.

wait what? you should of said. in this case, you need therapy, and maybe your folks dont want you to get it because it'll reveal family secrets..

Jeez....seen some of the other stuff you've posted.
What about school?
I'd want them to phone the police so you get out and explain what's going on.
You need to get out of there as they aren't treating you properly

I don’t want to ruin the family just wanna throw a brick at the people that used me lol.

I’ll be applying to uni this year, they’re not letting me live out because “it’s dangerous” but I will absolutely lose it if I stay here any longer

Only thing that kept me sane were my sport commitments and I had to quit those because of my studies unfortunately and now I’m not allowed to do anything
Just stay at home and study with no breaks
No wonder my grades are slipping I have nothing to look forward to. If they know about this tsr account I’m dead.

Rather get married off and have kids that will never ever feel or go through what it did.

Leave. Just leave. Speak to someone please. Your parents are under no obligation to find out

I’ve spoken to childline and tbh only felt as though they were a bit patronising lol

Can’t leave. They’ll go crazy. I’ve told my family what happened to me as a kid too, well they found out when I had my 1st mental breakdown last year
They were so so so nice to me, genuinely felt like part of the family... then it turned nasty
Calling me ‘dirty’ and an idiot and other mean stuff I can’t say

ugh just gotta focus on my studies
Will hopefully get me into oxbridge then I’ll be allowed to live out

Thanks for the reply!

I have this theory of mine , that when we dream we're actually seeing through the eyes of ourselves in an alternate reality/dimension

hence why we see ourseleves in these situation in our dreams , we're connected to our alternate realitys self and experiencing what we're going through

Speak to people at school as well. It doesn't matter if they go crazy, it sounds as if its better that you leave than stay

I don’t want to ruin the family just wanna throw a brick at the people that used me lol.

I’ll be applying to uni this year, they’re not letting me live out because “it’s dangerous” but I will absolutely lose it if I stay here any longer

Only thing that kept me sane were my sport commitments and I had to quit those because of my studies unfortunately and now I’m not allowed to do anything
Just stay at home and study with no breaks
No wonder my grades are slipping I have nothing to look forward to. If they know about this tsr account I’m dead.

Rather get married off and have kids that will never ever feel or go through what it did.

You can do this. If you arent allowed to see someone in person, you can see someone online, if you are up for that?