The Student Room Group

Regret my relationship after 2 days...

I'm 17 and I've never properly been in a relationship before, every time I've gotten close to entering a relationship I've felt completely out of place and uncomfortable about it. I was talking to a guy and I liked him a little but was very interested in seeing where it would go because he was an intriguing guy. He definitely liked me a lot more than I liked him and so he was very eager to get to know me and enter a relationship. After a few weeks of talking and meeting up (and me maybe making out with him because I'm a bit of a slut haha), he asked me to be his girlfriend. Our relationship had only started to get actually serious about 2 days prior to this. When he asked me I told him straight away that I felt like it was far too soon for me to start calling him my boyfriend... he didn't understand this (he said he was scared of going too slow due to past disappointments, which i understand and respect). He spent the next hour or so trying to convince me to say yes to being his girlfriend, he definitely listened when I repeatedly told him that it felt quite fast and scary, but he was still very eager and excited for me to be his girlfriend, so he tried to convince me that we werent going too fast. By this point I was quite unsure and genuinely didnt know whether to say yes or no as he did a great job at convincing me hahhahaha, and after consulting with my best friends they all thought that I should go for it, and I thought to myself ahhh why not, id never had a boyfriend before so I gotta try and see what happens. This was 2 days ago. I feel I made a bad decision. I already feel slightly suffocated and uncomfortable with being in a relationship even though I've barely seen him since due to it being such a tiny amount of time, I don't necessarily see the relationship going anywhere, and he's A LOT more interested in me than I am in him... I really don't know what to do about it. Part of me is annoyed at myself for having doubts but saying yes anyway, and I feel so bad for disappointing him so quickly without even giving him a chance. It has nothing to do with the guy, he's lovely and laid back and doesnt smother me at all, yet its still suffocating. I've had an inkling for a while now that 'normal' relationships might not be for me, and based on the fact I've never let myself enter a relationship before now, and find myself missing being single after two days, I think that perhaps this isnt something I want. I'm not too sure what advice im asking for... i suppose... what should i tell him? is it normal for me to not want a relationship at all? is it okay to not want a boyfriend? how will he react if i tell him about how im feeling?
Original post by Anonymous
I'm 17 and I've never properly been in a relationship before, every time I've gotten close to entering a relationship I've felt completely out of place and uncomfortable about it. I was talking to a guy and I liked him a little but was very interested in seeing where it would go because he was an intriguing guy. He definitely liked me a lot more than I liked him and so he was very eager to get to know me and enter a relationship. After a few weeks of talking and meeting up (and me maybe making out with him because I'm a bit of a slut haha), he asked me to be his girlfriend. Our relationship had only started to get actually serious about 2 days prior to this. When he asked me I told him straight away that I felt like it was far too soon for me to start calling him my boyfriend... he didn't understand this (he said he was scared of going too slow due to past disappointments, which i understand and respect). He spent the next hour or so trying to convince me to say yes to being his girlfriend, he definitely listened when I repeatedly told him that it felt quite fast and scary, but he was still very eager and excited for me to be his girlfriend, so he tried to convince me that we werent going too fast. By this point I was quite unsure and genuinely didnt know whether to say yes or no as he did a great job at convincing me hahhahaha, and after consulting with my best friends they all thought that I should go for it, and I thought to myself ahhh why not, id never had a boyfriend before so I gotta try and see what happens. This was 2 days ago. I feel I made a bad decision. I already feel slightly suffocated and uncomfortable with being in a relationship even though I've barely seen him since due to it being such a tiny amount of time, I don't necessarily see the relationship going anywhere, and he's A LOT more interested in me than I am in him... I really don't know what to do about it. Part of me is annoyed at myself for having doubts but saying yes anyway, and I feel so bad for disappointing him so quickly without even giving him a chance. It has nothing to do with the guy, he's lovely and laid back and doesnt smother me at all, yet its still suffocating. I've had an inkling for a while now that 'normal' relationships might not be for me, and based on the fact I've never let myself enter a relationship before now, and find myself missing being single after two days, I think that perhaps this isnt something I want. I'm not too sure what advice im asking for... i suppose... what should i tell him? is it normal for me to not want a relationship at all? is it okay to not want a boyfriend? how will he react if i tell him about how im feeling?

Yes it's all normal. If you don't want a relationship, don't be in one.
It's okay to not want a boyfriend.
I don't know how he will react but do what is best for you

I think he just made you feel so suffocated and put too much pressure on the relationship before it had begun which is the problem more than anything.
Reply 2
I'm going to come out with the old cliché of you are 17 and have plenty of time to live your life and decide what you want. It's fine and normal to not want a boyfriend or relationship, and don't think you've got to do it because other people are.

However, it's a bit of a mixed message to make out with this guy, then tell him you don't want him as a boyfriend. Call me old-fashioned, but I've decided a guy is a boyfriend, then we get down to the serious stuff. Not to say you can't change your mind later, but it comes over as rushing in, then pulling back.
He pressured you into a commitment you didn't want so it's unsurprising that you regret it. It's a completely normal way to feel in this situation. If you don't want to be with him then you need to tell him this.
Reply 4
i completely agree with this, and thats another thing that i regret. as a person, i am quite promiscuous and flirty and so i tend to make moves when realistically, i shouldnt. despite never having a boyfriend, ive gotten into quite sexual situations with a few people, which im not ashamed of or bothered by, usually after a drink. it was a very heat of the moment thing that to me really doesnt mean an awful lot - im quite un-traditional
Original post by Surnia
I'm going to come out with the old cliché of you are 17 and have plenty of time to live your life and decide what you want. It's fine and normal to not want a boyfriend or relationship, and don't think you've got to do it because other people are.

However, it's a bit of a mixed message to make out with this guy, then tell him you don't want him as a boyfriend. Call me old-fashioned, but I've decided a guy is a boyfriend, then we get down to the serious stuff. Not to say you can't change your mind later, but it comes over as rushing in, then pulling back.
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous
i completely agree with this, and thats another thing that i regret. as a person, i am quite promiscuous and flirty and so i tend to make moves when realistically, i shouldnt. despite never having a boyfriend, ive gotten into quite sexual situations with a few people, which im not ashamed of or bothered by, usually after a drink. it was a very heat of the moment thing that to me really doesnt mean an awful lot - im quite un-traditional


And sexual situations are fine if it's what both parties are happy with. However, there will guys you meet that are attracted to you and want the relationship of your first post; talk, get to know you better, do things together. You said the guy was intriguing, you wanted to see how it would go, you had a few weeks of meeting up and a bit of making out, so you shouldn't be surprised that he wanted you as a gf; it wasn't that quick for him to decide. It was a similar timescale for me; met a guy at work, chatted for about 4 hours socially and he asked me out. His job meant he wasn't around much, but we hung out when possible over a couple of months, made it official, still together a long way down the line.

I think you need to decide what you want in life, and if it's to keep it casual, great, and maybe pick the guys who want the same kind of thing. However, you are obviously open to trying a relationship, just learn to read the signs and set the boundaries. You never know when you might neet the right person.

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