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Internet Boyfreind part 2
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Anonymous
plz keep anon for obvious reasons.
(for those who have read 'Internet Boyfreind' thread)
Ok, so this is going to sound very stupit of me. I dont knw what to do, hes said to me know that he will be invite me for a stay at his 'new flat' which he is going to buy in July.
I dont know how but I kind of have agreed to the invitation, I mainly did this to see his reaction, and what he tells me, but whatever we have discussed has put me into more confusion. And I am not sure now that if he is speaking the truth or just lying to me to get me into a trap.
Ok, as he knows I am a virgin, he asked me if i would sleep with him straightaway, I told him I will not.
He said that we can share same double bed when I am staying with him, but he said that He wont do anything with me if I dont want him to.
He admitted that he may get very aroused, but will just go and release his tension somewhere else.
And he keeps on saying and reassuring me that he will not do anything which I am not comfortable with.
Also, I asked him about his 'ex' and he told me that they fell out of love, and she didnt like him chatting to freinds 'online'.
And he told me that she attacked him, and he had biting, and scratch marks all over his back and front. And this is when he left her.
I know that it could be dangerous meeting him by going all way to his place, but on other side I want to aswell as dont want to break his heart because many other women has done that to him.
Again, your advice will be very appreciated. Thank you for reading, listening.
(for those who have read 'Internet Boyfreind' thread)
Ok, so this is going to sound very stupit of me. I dont knw what to do, hes said to me know that he will be invite me for a stay at his 'new flat' which he is going to buy in July.
I dont know how but I kind of have agreed to the invitation, I mainly did this to see his reaction, and what he tells me, but whatever we have discussed has put me into more confusion. And I am not sure now that if he is speaking the truth or just lying to me to get me into a trap.
Ok, as he knows I am a virgin, he asked me if i would sleep with him straightaway, I told him I will not.
He said that we can share same double bed when I am staying with him, but he said that He wont do anything with me if I dont want him to.
He admitted that he may get very aroused, but will just go and release his tension somewhere else.
And he keeps on saying and reassuring me that he will not do anything which I am not comfortable with.
Also, I asked him about his 'ex' and he told me that they fell out of love, and she didnt like him chatting to freinds 'online'.
And he told me that she attacked him, and he had biting, and scratch marks all over his back and front. And this is when he left her.
I know that it could be dangerous meeting him by going all way to his place, but on other side I want to aswell as dont want to break his heart because many other women has done that to him.
Again, your advice will be very appreciated. Thank you for reading, listening.
Are you stupid? Seriously meeting someone who you dont even know at their 'flat'. How do you know its a boy and not an older man.
Pleaseeee! BECAUSE HE'S HAD HIS HEART BROKEN YOU HAVE TO SLEEP IN SAME BED AS HIM KNOWING HE WANTS TO TRY IT ON WIHT YOU.....CLEVER GIRL!
If you addiment on meeting him = Best thing to do is actually meet him in an open space and get ot know him. e.g resturant.
undercover agent
okay Im starting to agree that the OP should not meet this guy, but I still do not agree that there is necessarily any specific danger posed to her, and I was objecting to how quickly people assumed the worst, thats all - it kind of smacked a little of the 'internet perv moral panic'.
but on reflection, considering all aspects of this guys personality, it probably isnt a good idea. He is probably not dangerous but still I will concede that probably no good can come of this
but on reflection, considering all aspects of this guys personality, it probably isnt a good idea. He is probably not dangerous but still I will concede that probably no good can come of this
Well, there's different degrees of danger. Murder and rape being extremes.
But she should easily be in a situation of having sex where she didn't want to, yet gave some sort of consent. So not rape, not legally, but still a hurtful situation to her, of course.
Please don't do it, OP. He sounds like more of a creep than ever - and from the phrasing of his argument that you should sleep in the same bed with him, it's clear that he is the kind to pressure and cajole and primarily, guilt trip you into sleeping with him. Do you really think he's not going to try something? Repeatedly? His attitude towards you is completely disrespectful, and I wouldn't be surprised if you are not the only girl he is trying this on with. If fact, I'd be surprised if you were. I understand that you are lonely, but trust me, there is nothing worse - or more lonely - than being with a guy who makes your skin crawl. Listen to Suek's posts, they're spot on.
Anonymous
Oh, can you tell me how old was the guy, and how old was you? just curious
I think I was 15. The guy was about 19/20 cant remember exactly tbh
Even if he isn't some kind of sick pervert, think about the bigger picture; do you as an individual want to get into this relationship, or do you just feel sorry for him or something?
How old are you and him anyway?
I met a guy off the internet once. I had told my family about it, and my sister drove me to the station to meet him off the train. We had a picnic in my back garden, so we had some degree of privacy but we were near to people I knew just in case.
I suggest you make him come to YOU. That way you're in familiar surroundings, and your family and friends are nearby if anything goes wrong. Tell them what you're doing, so they'll be prepared to get a phonecall from you if anything DOES go wrong.
If he really does like you, he wont mind making some concilliations for you. If he wants to meet you and know you for you, then he wont mind meeting on your terms. I think this is especially important if he is older than you.
I suggest you make him come to YOU. That way you're in familiar surroundings, and your family and friends are nearby if anything goes wrong. Tell them what you're doing, so they'll be prepared to get a phonecall from you if anything DOES go wrong.
If he really does like you, he wont mind making some concilliations for you. If he wants to meet you and know you for you, then he wont mind meeting on your terms. I think this is especially important if he is older than you.
Guy Secretan
How old are you and him anyway?
According to the original thread, she's 19 and he's 34.
L-x
OP hasn't replied in a while, my guess is she's met him.
It was clearley her intention, nobody who's unsure about something and asks for advice then ignores ALL of it.
It was clearley her intention, nobody who's unsure about something and asks for advice then ignores ALL of it.
The OP was only 9 hours ago. If she's met him already, that'd be quick, especially as in her first post she said he's not even going to buy this new flat until July.
I agree sounds like a total weirdo.
OP, I have a very bad feeling about this, as does everyone else who posted. His ex broke up with him becuase of his internet friends. Let's say he is a great guy and you end up with him. How do you know that he will remain faithful especially since he has a past with meeting people online? I say end things now. 34 is too old especially since you don't even know him that well. You'd be a fool if you go against what everyone is saying.
There's equal chance he's a very normal bloke just wanting company. However, since you haven't met him - there's equal chance he's not. When there's a risk factor involved, I'd doubt you'd wanna look back in retrospect and wish you hadn't ignored the potential risk.
Meet him in public a few times, you can gage a persons personality that way. Then if the risk factor diminishes significantly - then considering staying in his flat. There is no need to rush all of this, you have the rest of the World to do it.
Meet him in public a few times, you can gage a persons personality that way. Then if the risk factor diminishes significantly - then considering staying in his flat. There is no need to rush all of this, you have the rest of the World to do it.
I would like to second all the people who said not to meet up with him and make another point - he's proven himself to be a manipulator in the past, getting the OP this far into their 'relationship', so even if they do meet in a public place, the OP (no offence) strikes me as someone naive enough to be taken in by him and allow herself to be talked into going to his flat with him, especially if she's looking like she's half willing to go to his flat already.
I vote no meeting up at all.
I vote no meeting up at all.
5 pages in and the OP hasn't responded? . . . Maybe she's already been to meet this creep. . . .
The original post was only yesterday, and he's going to buy the flat in July; it's possible she's just not come back online yet.
OP, when you do read all this, please respond.
OP, when you do read all this, please respond.
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