If you were a step mum.... Watch

Anonymous #1
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I sincerely love both my mums and I don’t mean to sound biased or anything.

So long story short, dad and Mum divorced when I was 6 years old (I’m basically 19 now). So what I realised is my mum always when she’s in the same room as my step mum tries to kiss us, hug us and say I’m her daughter etc...(I don’t mine at all) but if you were in this situation, as a step mum, how would you feel? Would you feel some type of negativity towards the biological mother?
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velvethopes
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I'd feel somewhat negative however I'd understand that the mum wants to try establish her place in your life in fear of being 'replaced', I guess? Even if I can also see it's a bit infantile bc it's not like anything's going to change the fact the mother is the mother.

Idk, my own mum is like this too but towards my dad lmao
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CHANELDIAMONDS
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I would only feel negative vibes around her if she was an abusive mother or wife. Other than that, i’d be a grown up and would treat her really nicely. And also treat my step children exceptionally well.
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pineapplepink
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I find the concept of step mums really weird- to me it's my dads wife as I only have one mum and this other person isnt of any relation to me. As far as the question goes I feel as a step mum you're not really in a position to feel anything about your mum doing this because you are her child after all.
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bones-mccoy
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I've been a sort of step mum but luckily never had to deal with my partner's ex face to face. If the above situation arose then I'd be led to believe that the biological mum felt threatened by me and that she was worried her kids would start seeing me as a mother figure as well. Which is sad really cause all I'd ever want is to care for the kids as much as they needed rather than trying to take over.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
I've been a sort of step mum but luckily never had to deal with my partner's ex face to face. If the above situation arose then I'd be led to believe that the biological mum felt threatened by me and that she was worried her kids would start seeing me as a mother figure as well. Which is sad really cause all I'd ever want is to care for the kids as much as they needed rather than trying to take over.
It is sad but I still consider them both as mums and I call them both mum. It’s quite unfortunate that my step mum obviously cares a lot about her daughters but ofc and I shouldn’t care. But it’s also quite unfortunate that i doing get treated equally but it’s also okay because I’m not her actual daughter. My biological mother isn’t always there for me but she is sometimes. She obviously left me to my dad most of the time but I guess she has a life too. I mean wouldn’t you also see your step mum as a mother figure too if she’s been with you for over 11 years? Almost most of my life
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xoxAngel_Kxox
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My partner has a son, and his mother has always been really jealous when I do things for him - like take him for days out in the summer, or buy him clothes etc. Bear in mind the "child" is 15.. and I refuse to let him sit on his PS4 all the time haha.

She made the decision to walk out on him and his dad when he was a baby, and as such had no proper access for years. Now, her access is court ordered but minimal, so I spend a lot more time with him than she does - my partner has custody.

I can understand why she's bitter - and why she purposefully tries to assert her authority (legally she has none, to be fair) when we see her - but she made her own choice all those years ago, my partner has every right to be happy with a new partner (she has remarried herself), and she should surely be glad that her son has a positive female figure in his life.

I imagine your situation to be similar. Your mum doesn't want to be replaced - and she won't be - but it makes life A LOT easier when kids get on with their step parents, so your mum should really be happy that you do.
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
It is sad but I still consider them both as mums and I call them both mum. It’s quite unfortunate that my step mum obviously cares a lot about her daughters but ofc and I shouldn’t care. But it’s also quite unfortunate that i doing get treated equally but it’s also okay because I’m not her actual daughter. My biological mother isn’t always there for me but she is sometimes. She obviously left me to my dad most of the time but I guess she has a life too. I mean wouldn’t you also see your step mum as a mother figure too if she’s been with you for over 11 years? Almost most of my life
Yeah I would, I think you're more likely to see a person as a step mum if they were part of your life when you were little rather than a teenager for example. It can be difficult as a step mum as if you get too involved you get accused of taking over and stepping on the biological mum's toes but if you take a step back and leave the dad to do most of the parenting then you get accused of not caring enough. It can be hard to find that middle balance.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Yeah I would, I think you're more likely to see a person as a step mum if they were part of your life when you were little rather than a teenager for example. It can be difficult as a step mum as if you get too involved you get accused of taking over and stepping on the biological mum's toes but if you take a step back and leave the dad to do most of the parenting then you get accused of not caring enough. It can be hard to find that middle balance.
Omg literally. I stopped stressing myself out and just mind my own business I guess
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