If you were a step mum....

I've been a sort of step mum but luckily never had to deal with my partner's ex face to face. If the above situation arose then I'd be led to believe that the biological mum felt threatened by me and that she was worried her kids would start seeing me as a mother figure as well. Which is sad really cause all I'd ever want is to care for the kids as much as they needed rather than trying to take over.

It is sad but I still consider them both as mums and I call them both mum. It’s quite unfortunate that my step mum obviously cares a lot about her daughters but ofc and I shouldn’t care. But it’s also quite unfortunate that i doing get treated equally but it’s also okay because I’m not her actual daughter. My biological mother isn’t always there for me but she is sometimes. She obviously left me to my dad most of the time but I guess she has a life too. I mean wouldn’t you also see your step mum as a mother figure too if she’s been with you for over 11 years? Almost most of my life

Yeah I would, I think you're more likely to see a person as a step mum if they were part of your life when you were little rather than a teenager for example. It can be difficult as a step mum as if you get too involved you get accused of taking over and stepping on the biological mum's toes but if you take a step back and leave the dad to do most of the parenting then you get accused of not caring enough. It can be hard to find that middle balance.