The Student Room Group

Does anyone ever feel like their mother hates them

I don’t know, I seriously feels like she hates me and I don’t know why. Sometimes she’s great, then majority of the time she’s making horrible comments, picking on my hair and makeup, weight, dress choices, friends choices. Every single day she’s picking on me, she never listens and whenever she does she makes the situation seem so small and inadequate. One of the main reasons I feel like she hates me is because she has no problem telling me she will “knock me out” which she has been violent before she even went as far to throw a computer straight at me when I was younger, she’s punched me, choked me, slapped me - I don’t know what I did to deserve it or maybe I’m blocking the memory out - does anyone else feel like their mother just hates them. Online she seems so proud of me but I think this is only to boost about her “and how well she’s done with me” when she’s done nothing it’s been all me. She even photoshops my photos and posts them on social media - I don’t know what to do, I’m in no position to move out due to being a student, can’t stay at my friends houses etc I can’t talk to her about it because she will either kick me out or scream at me and not talk to me, is this normal? Does anyone else experience this and if so how do you stop yourself from going insane
Original post by Anonymous #1
I don’t know, I seriously feels like she hates me and I don’t know why. Sometimes she’s great, then majority of the time she’s making horrible comments, picking on my hair and makeup, weight, dress choices, friends choices. Every single day she’s picking on me, she never listens and whenever she does she makes the situation seem so small and inadequate. One of the main reasons I feel like she hates me is because she has no problem telling me she will “knock me out” which she has been violent before she even went as far to throw a computer straight at me when I was younger, she’s punched me, choked me, slapped me - I don’t know what I did to deserve it or maybe I’m blocking the memory out - does anyone else feel like their mother just hates them. Online she seems so proud of me but I think this is only to boost about her “and how well she’s done with me” when she’s done nothing it’s been all me. She even photoshops my photos and posts them on social media - I don’t know what to do, I’m in no position to move out due to being a student, can’t stay at my friends houses etc I can’t talk to her about it because she will either kick me out or scream at me and not talk to me, is this normal? Does anyone else experience this and if so how do you stop yourself from going insane
Not anymore, but when I was younger and during my college days, my mum was hostile to me when she found out I was hooking up with my best friend's mum (for reference I was 17 and she was about 58 when we started having sex). We were constantly hooking up about twice a week for a couple years until I finished my college studies and moved away for uni. I didn't tell my mum directly she found out from the best friend's mum by accident which I did feel a bit guilty for not telling my mother directly. Called me desperate and a lot of other bad words too strong for TSR.

Looking back I understand why, but at the time it made me sad. However now things are more settled and I'm in my 20s we are on good terms now.
Original post by Anonymous #2
Not anymore, but when I was younger and during my college days, my mum was hostile to me when she found out I was hooking up with my best friend's mum (for reference I was 17 and she was about 58 when we started having sex). We were constantly hooking up about twice a week for a couple years until I finished my college studies and moved away for uni. I didn't tell my mum directly she found out from the best friend's mum by accident which I did feel a bit guilty for not telling my mother directly. Called me desperate and a lot of other bad words too strong for TSR.

Looking back I understand why, but at the time it made me sad. However now things are more settled and I'm in my 20s we are on good terms now.
this diverted sharply . Umm I think you were groomed what business does a 58 year old have with someone that’s 17 . Idk if you mum responds was beneficial but what was happening was no ok and you mother should have supported to get out of that situation.
Yes, I suspect that my very violent mother has hated me for a long time.
Sorry to read about the difficult experience you have had/are having with your mother. It won't be a solution, but it could be helpful if you are at University to have a look at the support options available through your University (sometimes speaking to a counsellor about your experience can be a really beneficial process). You may want to have a look at this: https://studentspace.org.uk/
This is also a useful way to search what is available at your specific University: https://studentspace.org.uk/find-support
I hope it helps :smile:
Reply 5
Original post by Anonymous #1
I don’t know, I seriously feels like she hates me and I don’t know why. Sometimes she’s great, then majority of the time she’s making horrible comments, picking on my hair and makeup, weight, dress choices, friends choices. Every single day she’s picking on me, she never listens and whenever she does she makes the situation seem so small and inadequate. One of the main reasons I feel like she hates me is because she has no problem telling me she will “knock me out” which she has been violent before she even went as far to throw a computer straight at me when I was younger, she’s punched me, choked me, slapped me - I don’t know what I did to deserve it or maybe I’m blocking the memory out - does anyone else feel like their mother just hates them. Online she seems so proud of me but I think this is only to boost about her “and how well she’s done with me” when she’s done nothing it’s been all me. She even photoshops my photos and posts them on social media - I don’t know what to do, I’m in no position to move out due to being a student, can’t stay at my friends houses etc I can’t talk to her about it because she will either kick me out or scream at me and not talk to me, is this normal? Does anyone else experience this and if so how do you stop yourself from going insane
You need to build a world away from her.Are you still at school.If so things will improve once you go to uni.Hopefully you have friends who like you and boost your self esteem.
Your mother obvs has problems possibly menopausal which can start from early 40's.Have you got a dad around who could talk to her and ask her to lay off with the insults and threats.Not an easy position to be in but not all family connections are good ones sadly.
Reply 6
Original post by Scotney
You need to build a world away from her.Are you still at school.If so things will improve once you go to uni.Hopefully you have friends who like you and boost your self esteem.
Your mother obvs has problems possibly menopausal which can start from early 40's.Have you got a dad around who could talk to her and ask her to lay off with the insults and threats.Not an easy position to be in but not all family connections are good ones sadly.


I’m at university but unfortunately in my last couple of months before I leave but still not a lot of friends to go out with, no dad in the picture and my step dad doesn’t seem to care he just listens to my mum because she also kinda bullies him
Reply 7
Not sure if this helps. My mother definitely did not like me. My father also has confirmed this. See - two not great parents.

She started to like me in later years.

She has no choice now. She needs me to keep her living independently. 😁 She is very fond of me now, partly as she changed massively.

What I would say is:
It is really painful when you feel that your mother doesn't like you. I have been there. It messes with your head.

Things can change.

Don't take it personally - her problem not yours.

As a parent myself, I can now see the above clearly. I have also learnt from my childhood and I hope it makes me a better parent.

As Scotney says, build other relationships. I have a few really good close friends. They are also like family.

I think Oscar Wilde said this or similar:

Friends are God's apology for relatives.
(edited 1 month ago)

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