Been crushing for almost a year...

Last September, I started sixth form at a new school and this girl caught my attention - I am also female. She gets on my school bus in the mornings, and we take similar subjects, but as with all crushes, I thought that the feelings would die down after a few weeks, perhaps months at most. We're friends at the moment, but not really close friends.

Fast forward several months, these feelings are still clear and going into year 13 with these feelings is just gonna add to the stress because I don't know if she swings that way, or even if she wants to date anyone. I've talked with close friends of hers and some suspect she's bi, some think she's straight. This uncertainty means that I don't really want to confess to her for fear of her response.

But I've been finding that I've been doing out-of-character actions in order to try and get her attention, and it's kind of unsettling. Sometimes when I see her talking to male platonic friends (and even female), I end up getting all annoyed for the pettiest of reasons. I don't know what to do, any suggestions?

(edited 4 years ago)

Reply 1

username3846190

OP

6

Thank you so much for taking the time to help out, I really appreciate it :smile:

I mean, of course I try, but she's quite aloof and often she doesn't really want to maintain a conversation if she isn't in the mood. She's a tricky person to impress, friend-wise (if that makes sense)

Reply 2

username3846190

OP

6

Don't worry, a lot of my friends wonder why I like her because our personalities are quite different.

I feel like underneath her usually reserved demeanour, she is quite a caring and outgoing person. She has displayed these traits before, just perhaps not towards me, more towards her closer friends. I also really admire her ambitious personality and the fact that she stops at nothing to achieve academic success, even more so than my other friends. Yet, she still makes time to perform music and actively volunteer and just be an all-rounded person.

(She's also really pretty oops-)

Reply 3

username3846190

OP

6

I feel like I'm doing the most I can do without disrupting my studies.

I play the drums/percussion, and she plays violin, so I'm always trying to help out at music events to be around her. She runs the Science Society, and I help her out with it whenever I can. I try to accompany her to see teachers/put her violin in the instrument storeroom in the mornings after we get off the bus. I sometimes send her news articles about science, the environment and stuff she's passionate about, etc etc.

Sometimes she calls me a close friend, other times we barely talk to each other for no reason. It really confuses me.

Reply 4

username3846190

OP

6

I feel like she does return affections in terms of thanking me whenever I help out and she once messaged me saying that she's here whenever I need someone to talk to, but her personality is such that there are many contrasting actions that she does and that doesn't really help.

I do want to get over her, in a way, but I just don't know how to

Reply 5

username3846190

OP

6

You're right, I need to adjust the way I think. I'm trying to spend more time with other friends and dedicate more time to super-curricular stuff for my uni application (kinda glad she isn't choosing medicine unlike me hah hah)

She's definitely not the type of person to spread secrets, so even if I did confess, I think I would get closure for the situation. But confessing is not really on my mind atm

Reply 6

username3846190

OP

6

Good point, thanks for the help!

Reply 7

Anonymous #1

Original post by kinda_stressed

Last September, I started sixth form at a new school and this girl caught my attention - I am also female. She gets on my school bus in the mornings, and we take similar subjects, but as with all crushes, I thought that the feelings would die down after a few weeks, perhaps months at most. We're friends at the moment, but not really close friends.

Fast forward several months, these feelings are still clear and going into year 13 with these feelings is just gonna add to the stress because I don't know if she swings that way, or even if she wants to date anyone. I've talked with close friends of hers and some suspect she's bi, some think she's straight. This uncertainty means that I don't really want to confess to her for fear of her response.

But I've been finding that I've been doing out-of-character actions in order to try and get her attention, and it's kind of unsettling. Sometimes when I see her talking to male platonic friends (and even female), I end up getting all annoyed for the pettiest of reasons. I don't know what to do, any suggestions?

Shoot your shot.
obviously, get to know her better to gauge if she's bi or not but at some point express your feelings. I just finished year 13 and had the biggest crush on a girl but never told her how I felt for fear of rejection and never having the balls to tell her how I felt has honestly eaten me up all summer. I had plenty of opportunities but let the ship sail and sadly it's too late for me but not for you. even if you do get rejected at least you had the courage to say something and trust me the not knowing is worse

Reply 8

Anonymous #2

Been crushing for 4 years now imagine

Reply 9

Anonymous #3

If I were you I would ask her, otherwise it will really play with your mind and that is not good especially as you're going into year 13!

I have has a crush on a female too (I'm female myself) for over 2 years now!!
Unlike in your case, the person I had and still have a immense crush on is in a relationship and is perfectly happy so ofcourse I am not going to confess my feelings.
Luckily, she too like me is not straight but anyways I'm never going to tell her I like her because that will not be fair on her or her partner!

And a day does not go by where I do not think about her! When I have a good news i want to share it with her and the same for if I have bad news, I want her to be happy and well and it does occur to me how she may be or what she might be doing lol.

Luckily, I speak to her often but do no let her aware of not feelings!

I hope things work out for you!
And I would ask her if I were you, because trust me it hurts knowing that someone else does not know how you are feeling about them!

All the best :smile:

Reply 10

username3846190

OP

6

Original post by Anonymous

If I were you I would ask her, otherwise it will really play with your mind and that is not good especially as you're going into year 13!

I have has a crush on a female too (I'm female myself) for over 2 years now!!
Unlike in your case, the person I had and still have a immense crush on is in a relationship and is perfectly happy so ofcourse I am not going to confess my feelings.
Luckily, she too like me is not straight but anyways I'm never going to tell her I like her because that will not be fair on her or her partner!

And a day does not go by where I do not think about her! When I have a good news i want to share it with her and the same for if I have bad news, I want her to be happy and well and it does occur to me how she may be or what she might be doing lol.

Luckily, I speak to her often but do no let her aware of not feelings!

I hope things work out for you!
And I would ask her if I were you, because trust me it hurts knowing that someone else does not know how you are feeling about them!

All the best :smile:

Thank you so much for the help :smile:

I hope you'll find peace as well and I wish you the best of luck for the future