Cousin and Relationship

Please Please keep this Anon or delete. This would mess my life up if it came out.

Basically when i was about 10 I used to sleep at my cousins house (a girl). She was 2 years younger than me.

My unlce used to make us share beds as there wasn't anywhere else for us to sleep. We used to touch each other, nothing sexual as we did not know what sexual intercourse was.

After a while we used to practice kissing with each other and used to make a joke about it.

After a while her dad died (my uncle) and we drifted apart. We never really seen much of each other.

I have now found her on a Social Networking site. I will be totally honest, I have feelings for her. I also know this is totally wrong and would not be accepted so I would not go down that path. I am also in a loving relationship with a girl.

She wants to meet up but my head is messed up. Whenever I talk to her face to face I cannot have a conversation because of it. I always think back to what happened.

What can I do. Should I discuss the issue with her? She might get offended and not speak with me or she might have feelings and try start something terrible. I don't want to take any risks.

She is family to me, but we don't really get on as family if you know what I mean because we have been distant for a long time.

I welcome any advice.

Again please keep Anon. This is a very sensitive issue for me.

Reply 1

Rei

14

Stay far, far away if you can't control your feelings. :rolleyes:

Reply 2

Dashavoo

Ouch, that's a tough one!
Maybe try meeting up with your respective groups of friends, that way you can chat generally and stuff but neither of you will be tempted to go down what you consider to be the wrong path.

Reply 3

Anonymous #1

OP

I can control my feelings. I just want to cover up what happened and confirm that we have both forgotten about it.

I try to stay clear of convo's with her because of this.

Reply 4

Peanut42

15

This may be a stupid question, but are you a girl or a boy?

Reply 5

Touche

15

Humour makes it go away?

"haha, remember way back when we used to kiss? how ****ed up was that? lollerskates!"

If you're going to meet up, I wouldn't bring it up in a serious way or I'd imagine it could come across in a pretty creepy way. Be happy you have a girlfriend, and tell yourself you don't want anything to happen. I'm sure you can have a good family relationship with her, which sounds like something you'd really benefit from... you just need to get over the confusing but innocent old memories :smile:

Reply 6

Anonymous #1

OP

Dashavoo

Ouch, that's a tough one!
Maybe try meeting up with your respective groups of friends, that way you can chat generally and stuff but neither of you will be tempted to go down what you consider to be the wrong path.

But thats just hiding what happened.

If there is feelings between both of us i want to talk about killing or forgetting them so we can get on as family should. At the moment its like something is stopping it.

She talks normal to me, but i cant talk normal to her because of it.

Reply 7

Rei

14

Touche

Humour makes it go away?

"haha, remember way back when we used to kiss? how ****ed up was that? lollerskates!"

If you're going to meet up, I wouldn't bring it up in a serious way or I'd imagine it could come across in a pretty creepy way. Be happy you have a girlfriend, and tell yourself you don't want anything to happen. I'm sure you can have a good family relationship with her, which sounds like something you'd really benefit from... you just need to get over the confusing but innocent old memories :smile:

Roflcopter! :biggrin:

Reply 8

randomgirl

14

Doe she actually remember those incidents? :s-smilie:

Just meet her once I guess, have some self-control and just talk about normal stuff etc. See how it goes, maybe you can have a good cousin-cousin relationship (non-sexual :p:

) and be friends. You did those things when you were pretty young, don't blame yourself.

Reply 9

Anonymous #1

OP

Peanut42

This may be a stupid question, but are you a girl or a boy?

boy

Reply 10

Peanut42

15

Well try what everyone else has said, just meet up and attempt talking about normal things, if you haven't seen her for ages I'm sure you'll have lots to catch up on!

And if it doesn't work, well, it's legal to marry your cousin... :rolleyes:

Reply 11

Christian_j

17

haha, remember way back when we used to kiss? how ****ed up was that? lollerskates!"

That was hilarious! :biggrin:

But if I was her and you said that, even without the 'lollerskates' bit, I'd be running for the hills! OP, Some experiences need to be left when you were younger and more naive - if you mention it, it might give the impression you've been thinking about her 'in that way' despite the fact you haven't seen her for ages. If you don't, and she acts fine around you, then there's no problem - we've all done things we're not proud of at various points (I haven't had the same experience lol, just for the record) so she'll probably have forgotten about it herself, or repressed the memory. :biggrin:

I think you know that a relationship isn't gonna happen, it just wouldn't work, would it? Just let it go, and be normal around her - depending on your age, let's say you're 18 and she's 16 - I would highly recommend against meeting your friends and her friends, I've seen it happen before and it's just uncomfortable!

Stick with your own friends, just get on with life, if you don't make an idue out of it, it wont be one, IMO.

Reply 12

prudentstudent

Anonymous

boy

And how old are you both now?
Has she implied anything about what might happen when you meet up?

Reply 13

lincs_b

1

Talk to her as a friend but I wouldn't try to start a relationship.

Reply 14

olive*

12

I know this sounds dodgy...
But cousin relationships are Okay!
I've fancied half my cousins/second cousins..Lol
[in my country its acceptable but whatever]
And its legal for you to get married.
Not saying get married.
But.
I mean its Okay.
Its perfectly fine dude :smile:

Just dont mention the kissing bit.
Its cringy - act totally normal.
Good luck!
X

Reply 15

xBillyBrownx

14

This is a tough one. I think you just need to stop talking to her. Think about her flaws? Think about thing you didn't like about her? Anything unpleasant she's done to you? Keep reminding yourself she your cousin Just keep reminding yourself that. And look for someone else.
Ah I'm sorry :redface:

Reply 16

cutcopy

persian.royalty

I know this sounds dodgy...
But cousin relationships are Okay!
I've fancied half my cousins/second cousins..Lol
[in my country its acceptable but whatever]
And its legal for you to get married.
Not saying get married.
But.
I mean its Okay.
Its perfectly fine dude :smile:

Just dont mention the kissing bit.
Its cringy - act totally normal.
Good luck!
X

This is my sister... i have sex with her! is nice! i like!

Reply 17

Bateman

17

I was going to say, it's not that big of a deal.
You could legally get married, and new scienftific rsearch shows that your children won't be affected. And in many cultures it's ok

Reply 18

scamoosh

2

i've found myself in a similar situation. My 'uncle' married into my family when i was 10 and i fancied the hell out of his daughter (my step-cousin). we always used to flirt with each other and i fancied her loads. whenever my family saw something could happen they always told us it was sick and wrong but as far as i could see there was nothing at all sick or wrong with it. even with your real cousin its not that bad, as in they're not THAT closely related like a brother or sister (you're actually allowed to marry your cousin in this country). obviously you have different morals to me but the point of this is that we did end up going out for a while and even sleeping together, and it was some of the best sex i've ever had. we've both got partners now but when we meet up theres no awkwardness, and if i hadn't done it, i would have regretted it. you obviously have feelings for your cousin and if you both want it then theres no reason to fight it. do what YOU feel is right and what YOU want to do :smile:

Reply 19

Downesey

10

Christian_j

That was hilarious! :biggrin:

But if I was her and you said that, even without the 'lollerskates' bit, I'd be running for the hills! OP, Some experiences need to be left when you were younger and more naive - if you mention it, it might give the impression you've been thinking about her 'in that way' despite the fact you haven't seen her for ages. If you don't, and she acts fine around you, then there's no problem - we've all done things we're not proud of at various points (I haven't had the same experience lol, just for the record) so she'll probably have forgotten about it herself, or repressed the memory. :biggrin:

I think you know that a relationship isn't gonna happen, it just wouldn't work, would it? Just let it go, and be normal around her - depending on your age, let's say you're 18 and she's 16 - I would highly recommend against meeting your friends and her friends, I've seen it happen before and it's just uncomfortable!

Stick with your own friends, just get on with life, if you don't make an idue out of it, it wont be one, IMO.

These are exactly the words i wanted to say. Dont go there, its not worth the psycological torment to be around her, knowing you have so much to say but cant. Plus you could end up pushing your gf away by trying to be with your cousin. I know you wouldnt purposfully try to engage a relationship, but you will still always seek her approval in one way or another if your feelings are what you say they are

Cousin and Relationship

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