Dating when you’re gay

Ok so I am gay (male) but am a member of an extremely conservative religion and ethnicity. This means I never really grew up around any other gay people, and the only lgbt members I have known were girls. I am going to university in the coming year, and so will be open to new experiences and other things, however my “gaydar” as many call it is completely useless.
This doesn’t help that I am the complete opposite of what many perceive to be the gay stereotype. I am also a lesser known ethnicity when it comes to the UK dating scene so I feel I will have more trouble with it.

I have no idea what to signs to look for in another guy to notice if he’s gay. I have had literally ZeRo experiences with guys in a romantic way, I’ve had way more interactions with girls but I know that I’m attracted to guys. When I talk to a guy, we always end up becoming friends, if I have ever had a guy flirt with me, my personality probably diverged the conversation. I am still really uncomfortable with the fact that I like guys, however I am getting used to it. It doesn’t help that I am automatically put off by flamboyant personalities, because that instantly makes it much harder. I don’t know any gay people I can talk to about this stuff, so I am asking here.

How do I go about meeting other gay guys and getting more involved with the lgbt community? Is it easier in university?

I probably sound really stupid but this is the first time I actually ask about this kind of stuff.

Reply 1

Eboracum7

13

I can relate here a lot. I'll openly admit that I've only dated guys through apps such as tinder, because figuring out if a guy likes guys without him being camp or directly asking him is nearly impossible and the odds are against you anyway.

I thought about joining the LGBT society at uni but in all honesty they seemed a bit weird, and they tended to have a weird "let's all sleep with each other" mentality going on. Not for me.

Online apps can be very hit and miss themselves, but you are more likely to find a nice guy to date near you using one than not. You just have to be diligent and careful when you do :smile:

Reply 2

Anonymous #1

OP

Original post by Eboracum7

I can relate here a lot. I'll openly admit that I've only dated guys through apps such as tinder, because figuring out if a guy likes guys without him being camp or directly asking him is nearly impossible and the odds are against you anyway.

I thought about joining the LGBT society at uni but in all honesty they seemed a bit weird, and they tended to have a weird "let's all sleep with each other" mentality going on. Not for me.

Online apps can be very hit and miss themselves, but you are more likely to find a nice guy to date near you using one than not. You just have to be diligent and careful when you do :smile:

Thanks! I have been thinking about this, however I hear that people on social platforms tend to be extremely picky and judgemental. I don’t get self conscious, nor embarrassed. It’s just that I feel like I would have quite a hard time because I don’t really fit the ideal type for many people. I am probably just overthinking haha.

Reply 3

Eboracum7

13

Original post by Anonymous

Thanks! I have been thinking about this, however I hear that people on social platforms tend to be extremely picky and judgemental. I don’t get self conscious, nor embarrassed. It’s just that I feel like I would have quite a hard time because I don’t really fit the ideal type for many people. I am probably just overthinking haha.

Well quite honestly I think you'd find that anywhere, whether online or not. My best advice would be not to take it too seriously, do not make it an absolute mission to find someone as soon as possible. Take your time, sift through all the rubbish and you will find some people/person who you really like and really likes you back. You'll do fine :smile:

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Dating when you’re gay

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